While the self portrait challenge originated elsewhere, I am simply taking up Ariella’s one time challenge to show myself unedited here. I am sure I have done so in the past, but this time I am positive that in these photos I am make-up free, and the only editing was to crop the corners of the photos.
I am taking things a notch higher by showing pictures of myself after two nights of little sleep (sick children husband out of town) and on a day that I didn’t have time to do a thing to my hair other than pull it back because we had to go for a sick visit to the pediatrician this a.m. Oh, and after I took the photos, I realized that I had forgotten to replace my t-shirt over my grimy nursing camisole. Oops!
I am very good at picking myself apart, and let me just say that if the challenge was to show my postpartum stomach after four babies, even covered, I would have to decline! However, for me, part of the challenge is to show myself without pointing out to you all the flaws that I try my hardest not to see. I want to be able to say, “Hi, I’m Ginny,” end of story, no excuses.
I will be turning 33 this year and it was only in the past couple of years that I stopped fantasizing about plastic surgery for a certain part of my face. That is a huge thing for me to admit here. I would love for everyone to think that I am this 100% natural, self confident woman who would never think of such a thing. I want to be that woman! Growing up I watched my mom struggle with self acceptance regarding her own appearance, a struggle she hasn’t won yet, though she’s getting there! My mother is one of the most beautiful women I have ever seen, so where did her struggles originate? With her own parents, whom I am quite positive never intended to make the impression on her that they did.
Something about motherhood, and my desire to teach my children to love themselves the way that God made them has made me much more aware of the example I set in the looks department. I don’t wear much make-up (concealer around the eyes and loose powder) and when my children ask me what I am doing with it, I tell them I am just trying to make myself look like I sleep at night! I can’t imagine trying to explain to them why I would do anything to permanently change the appearance of my face. How could I do that without causing them to someday look at their own precious faces with a critical eye?
I also have this beautiful African son, who struggles with his own self image. Can you imagine what it feels like to be the only black child with four blue eyed blonde siblings? It is very hard for him to look so different than his family. He struggles with insecurity because of his past, and the last thing I want to do is present outward appearance as something that should be focused on beyond looking clean and tidy (not that my boys ever look clean and tidy, with the exception of Sunday Mass!)
Beyond just setting an example, I want to truly feel beautiful, with a beauty that comes from a deep awareness of the perfectly imperfect creation that I am. I want my daughters, and my sons to radiate that same beauty.
So here we are! Here I am!
With a toddler nursing right in the middle of our little photo shoot of course!
If any of you decide to take up the self portrait challenge, leave me a link! I want to see you too!
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Don’t you think it would be funny if Keats was stuck with cross eyes and had his tongue stuck out permanently? 😉
Ginny, I hear you! I realize you did this post three years ago, but I really appreciate what you’re doing. I’d read some time ago about a dad who took a photograph of his hand with his son’s hand every year at the same time and later gave his son a photo book of all the pictures. Over the years, it progressed from the young father hand and the baby hand to the elderly father hand with his son’s and grandchild’s hand. I thought that was so beautiful, but it wasn’t really working for me. Seeing your self portraits here with your beautiful kids regardless of how you feel about your own appearance has given me the idea to combine these two ideas. Self portrait with kids every birthday, regardless of how I feel about myself at the time! I take most of the photos, so rarely have any photos of myself and never like the ones taken. However, I realize that my kids will miss having any photos of me over the years, just as I have wished I could have more photos of my own mom. Thanks for the honesty and the inspiration!