Weeks before Advent began, I began preparing for the days ahead. One of the little things was to purchase new Christmas-y puzzles to work on together. When the time came to pull them out, I found myself strangely nauseated at the sight of them. The nausea itself wasn’t strange, I’d been feeling it for weeks, but the fact that puzzles made me feel worse was unexpected. I could hardly stand to look at the pieces scattered on the table. We eventually finished one, and have another half-finished on the puzzle table now. I keep waiting for last winter’s puzzle mania to take hold of me, but so far it hasn’t.
I’ve been keeping a secret, and it feels a little hard to say it out loud or write it here. We have lost three babies in recent years and I did not believe that we would be having more children. The losses taught me that a positive pregnancy test does not guarantee a living child. Of course, I always knew that but it was only in recent years that I lived it. And then there is the fact that I just celebrated my forty-third birthday. Goodness, I have a twenty-year-old son. I’m no young thing! For the past year, I have been focused on this next phase of life. I’m heading into mid-life, right? It’s been tricky, knowing that I don’t actually know the plan and I have to navigate the place that I am in, while recognizing that it could always change. Sort of a “one foot in the door” mentality I guess, and that doesn’t come easily to me.
Within days of a positive pregnancy test in early November, I was in my OB’s office for blood tests. The results were good and indicated a healthy pregnancy. I tried not to think about it too much while we waited for my mid-December ultrasound, at what they call a “pregnancy confirmation” appointment. On the day of my appointment, I was pretty nervous. I didn’t realize just how much so until the nurse was leaving the exam room to get the doctor for the ultrasound and I asked her, “But didn’t you say you need to check my blood pressure?” She looked so confused as she told me, “I just did.” I hadn’t even noticed. I was in some other world. She asked me if I was nervous and I almost burst into tears. I think I was terrified.
It did not take long for us to find out that this baby was alive. Not only did it have a strong heartbeat, but it already had little feet and hands!!! I wasn’t expecting to see feet yet, and couldn’t stop saying, “It has feet! Look at them!” I wish I could have seen Jonny’s face, but he was sitting behind my head. My doctor told me that I was a bit further along than we thought. I couldn’t stop laughing and talking about those little wiggling feet.
So, this is my long-winded (as always) way of telling you that we are expecting a baby this summer, about a month after Mabel turns five. I am just into the second trimester and starting to feel a little bit more human. I’ve never been as exhausted and sick with a pregnancy before! Or maybe I’ve just forgotten because it’s been a while. I saw my doctor this week and we were once again reassured by a strong little heartbeat.
When I told my dad that I’m pregnant, he did a good job of congratulating us (he is not Catholic and not super comfortable with our Catholic ways so it’s hard for him) and went on to say that we can just start calling me “Sarah.” Ha! I’m not quite ninety yet, though I will say that pregnancy in my forties is feeling a little different than pregnancy in my twenties or even thirties.
The world feels a little shaky right now, to say the least. The combination of that with this pregnancy has forced me to slow way down. I have spent a lot of time thinking about so many things: how important it is to keep our faith first always, what I want our days to look like in reflection of that, and how best to walk in gratitude for all of the precious gifts I have been given. I am very thankful for my family and the necessity that I focus fully on them right now. The last couple of months have been some combination of hope and messiness and I feel like I’ll never get on top of anything again. I’m old enough now to fully recognize that the mess will wait.
It was a really good Christmas despite pregnancy sickness/exhaustion + a stomach virus. That virus was terrible! Anyway, I made clothes for Bridget, Mabel’s doll, but that was the extent of me making much of anything. I was happy that I made so many mushroom ornaments earlier in the year since I wasn’t up to much crafting in the weeks surrounding Christmas. We did manage to make cinnamon applesauce ornaments (those never turn out great for us, but they smell good) and some homemade candy together. For Christmas, I filled stockings, bought a few books and games, and then gave a bit of money. I was just too exhausted to do more. Gabriel, always generous, bought really nice gifts for his younger siblings and that was a wonderful surprise for them. He gave Silas a fancy fishing rod and Job a race track that everyone has had a lot of fun with. We went to Mass on Christmas morning and walked out to find it snowing. What a magical, wonderful Christmas gift. I take a photo of my girls every year with Baby Jesus at the front of our church but this year we couldn’t pull it off. I guess our silly half-masked photo will be a good reminder of what 2020 was like. A mixture of joy and unexpected things like children wearing masks in church. I think we’ve made the best of things.
p.s. I’m including one more detail because of my age and my losses, and because you might wonder if something changed resulting in this healthy pregnancy (thus far-I still feel very cautious, though I’m not sure what good that will do. I may as well just let myself get excited.) Last summer, my regular doctor strongly encouraged me to start using topical progesterone because my levels were low, had been for years, and she thought it would give me some energy. Some of you have suggested it to me as well and I had used it sporadically in recent years, but this time I committed to sticking with using it for a few months. It did give me more energy and I was feeling the best I have in some time using it. I didn’t expect that to result in a baby though! When I found out I was pregnant, my OB put me on prescription progesterone right away, and I do believe that having been using it topically for a few months before getting pregnant in addition to the prescription I started after finding out I was pregnant made the difference. I’m so thankful!
Cathy Froment says
Dear Ginny, I was only going to say how cute your little musician characters are, how wonderful the caramels look (I intended to make them but didn’t get there) and I love Mary on the donkey with Joseph and where did you get her? And then, WOW! I am so happy for you all and my prayers are with you. Bless you so much.
Ginny says
Thank you!
mary says
God bless you and Baby. Congratulations!
Ginny says
Thank you!
Erika G Farese says
Oh gosh, Ginny, how wonderful! You’re going to be a mama once again. Praise the Lord.
Mary R says
What wonderful news, Ginny! I will hold you and your baby in my prayers that all will go well. Summer is a lovely time to welcome a new baby into your lives.
Kroni Anne says
Hello Ginny, it’s been over nine years that I have been following you, silently, you and your family, through your blog which I love so much.
I am a nanny and I follow you because I have children at home who are exactly the same age as Silas, Job and Mabel, one week apart each time!
I found it very funny. In addition, the photos of your children are always extraordinary and I like to read the simplicity in which they are brought up, it also meets my convictions.
I find it wonderful that you are still pregnant! It is a gift from God. Each child is a gift from our Creator, it is beautiful.
In one of your posts a while back, you wondered what more you could do for God. And I, who am a Christian, can tell you that what you do in your family is a wonderful testimony for your children … but also for other families. Do not ask yourself too many questions, you do things well and God will return it to you, I am sure!
Well done again and I look forward to seeing this little baby! I pray for you. May God bless your whole family.
Anne
Ginny says
Thank you for the encouragement!
Anne says
Congratulations Ginny.
Years ago when I was 40 and pregnant with our 7th child, I visited SheLaughed.com. You should check it out. Very encouraging ?
God bless you and your sweet family,
Anne❤️
Karie Murray says
Congratulations! I’m so thrilled for you!
Laura says
Ginny, I am so sorry to hear of your losses – I know it well and it is so painful – but what wonderful news about the new baby! I am so very excited for your family! I can’t wait to see what beautiful knits you make for this new little one. I had such great intentions with my last, but between the heat in Florida and me never seeming to make the time, not much happened! Also, you are going to love your new swaddles – they were my absolute favorite ? Beautiful pictures, once again!
Ginny says
Thank you, Laura! I have some fabric stashed away so I can make this baby some swaddles for sure!
Debbie Owen says
Wonderful news! Congratulations! I love that gold OLG print. Where did you get that?
Ginny says
Thank you! The print is from https://beaheart.com
Monique says
Congratulations to all of you 🙂 What a wonderful gift from 2020. Wishing you a good healthy pregnancy for the remainder. Looking forward to seeing the new little face.
Audrey Krzeminski says
A wonderful blog post! I am so excited for you! I will have you in my prayers ~
Karen says
Congratulations! Praying for a safe uneventful pregnancy for you!!
Tonya Gunn says
Congratulations Ginny and your beautiful family. What a blessing! We had our last birth when I was 42 and many miscarriages along the way as well. Her birth was the most peaceful and easiest of all 7. God is in control. Sending love.
Ginny says
Thank you, Tonya!
Shelley says
Lovely news Ginny! I had my youngest at 42, and was so glad for the experience. I’m turning 46 this year and parenting my little one remains a delight. My older kids, now 14 and 16 (10 and 12 when she was born) have enjoyed her immensely and have been a terrific help along the way too. Go well, thanks for sharing your journey, -Shelley
Charlotte (MotherOwl) says
Oh congratulations. I hope for you to stop worrying and enyou, but as I had my last (of 6 living and 4 lost ones) at the age of 44, I understand your worrying.
The only problems I had was because of the birth – C-secton and the dotctor in training practised sewing people up on me 😉 All the baby-things, broken nigths and so on were no worse than with my first. My children still beg for more babies, but as number six is now 15, that would be a miracle akin to Sarah and Elizabeth (still praying, though).
Linda says
I’m so happy for you and your family Ginny, congratulations. I’ll keep lifting you and your wee babe up in my prayers, that baby and you will be strong and healthy 🙂 What a wonderful blessing. My daughter will have her 5th baby in February (1st son), so we are very excited. While theirs nothing quite like holding your own baby in your arms, a grandbaby is pretty close to it too xo
Emily says
Congratulations Ginny! That’s lovely news! I wish you every good thing xx
Jules says
Fantastic news 😀
I had 2 babies in my forties (43 and 47) for babies number 5 and 6. I think these 2 are the most energetic of the bunch and they’re keeping me young and sharp(ish), haha.
Best to you and your gorgeous ever-growing family!!
xo
Laura says
Jules,
Thank you for posting this. I had my last 18 months ago at 45. I would love just one more baby….but I’m quickly approaching 47 and my age worries me. It’s likely not even possible with all the losses I’ve had, but I’m still hopeful. Hearing other people’s journey is so encouraging, so thank you ?
Laura
Helena Dias says
Congratulations. Wishing you the best.
Shannon Dennis says
This is so wonderful! What wonderful news! We had our ninth baby when I was 44, conceived naturally. My children all range from 24 down to 5. I am the so thankful that God gave us such a kindness. I’m almost 50 now and wish I could have one more.
Congratulations to you all! Gods blessings be upon you!
Bernie says
So happy for you! I was 43 almost 44 when I had my last child. He is now 15 and I am almost 60! I think these children keep you young longer. I would do it all over again if allowed! I pray your pregnancy goes smoothly!
Blessings!
Mparker says
How absolutely lovely. Congratulations!
Jan Taylor says
Dear Ginny,
May God bless and keep you. What a wonderful blessing for your family. How wonderful that God is always with us and knows your new baby will be a wonderful addition to our world. Much love and hugs, Jan Taylor
Lynette P says
Ginny, I am so happy for you and your family with the news of adding another! I’ve been pregnant seven times, but most unfortunately, only one of ours has survived to adulthood. He and his wife, both in their late 30’s, welcomed twins and I became a grandmother at 65! The timing was not what I would have chosen, and many tears have fallen over the years. I know, though, that this is the path God has for our family. For my husband and me, becoming grandparents at this stage in life has blessed us with joy all over again. I pray that this little one will bless your dad in a whole new way, too.
My prayers are with you and your little one. It makes me happy to know you will now have someone other than your puppy baby to knit for! Enjoy.
Paige says
Oh Ginny I am so excited fir you. You and I are almost exactly the same age. I feel like I am in a limbo stage wondering after so many years of being blessef with babies that mabey I am done. Our littlest is 3. It is so strange to me to think I am close to being too old to have a baby. What a magical Christmas present. You will be in my prayers. Our Lady and her precious Babe keep you
Dawn says
This is the best thing I have read this week and I am so glad you shared this good news. An excellent reminder that life is like that – the world can seem to be falling down around our ears but then, we are reminded that life goes on with news of a baby on the way. How can we lose our spirit when that is possible? My youngest was born when I was 40 and I had to laugh when I caught sight of my chart in the doctor’s office – “advanced maternal age.” Ha! Yes, I was tired but being literally filled with so much life, I also had an amazing level of energy, too. Not energy like my non-pregnant self but more of an internal, thoughtful energy – all those plans and dreams for the new little one. Blessings to you and your family!
Barbara Waldron says
Congratulations Ginny. I’m so happy for you and your family. Wonderful news. God bless this pregnancy and may you treasure the time of waiting. You won’t be bored with all you do daily. What a gift!
Kimberly Schildbach says
Congratulations! We had Olive Ann when I was 42 and then went on to adopt 4 more kids. I’m 51 now and we have a houseful! Life is beautiful! Congratulations!
Theresa says
Congratulations, Ginny & Jonny! I can absolutely relate to part of your post. We lost two babies very early on in two consecutive years and I honestly thought our time was “up.” Then, last summer, I had a positive pregnancy test. At the 10 week confirmation u/s, we found we were having twins! Except, one had already passed. The surviving twin was alive, well, and showing off, and mercifully has continued to do so. I’m 28weeks with her and in 7 days I’m turning 40. It’s been very interesting! I’m so happy to hear your news and I can’t wait to see the little knits you’ve made come back into pictures. You inspired me back into knitting 10 years ago (how is it that long?!) and hopefully I can get a hat out for this girl before she shows up. Love and prayers for you and your little one!!
Leah says
Oh Ginny I am so so happy for you! How amazing! I just had my first miscarriage in October this past year. (My 9th pregnancy) I always knew it was possible, but until you’ve lived it, it does not feel so real. I understand that feeling completely.
Ginny says
Leah, I am so sorry for your loss!
Clarissa Webster says
That is wonderful news! I’m so happy to hear it. Many prayers for a healthy, peaceful pregnancy! Our Christmas season was very similar, as I’m pregnant with baby number 7. I think we must be close in our dates — I’m probably due at the end of June (I’m about 15 weeks now). I too have found this to be the hardest pregnancy so far…but unfortunately I seem to not yet have settled into the knowledge that the mess can wait. I’m trying to let go!! Thank you for being an example of wisdom in that! =)
Alison says
Congratulations! What a wonderful piece of news…any time, but especially now! A gift of hope.
Noreen says
Congrats! I had my youngest (the 5th) at 42, just a week before the oldest turned 21, and lost 4 in between. I wish you good health and an uneventful pregnancy. Rest up – it is much harder in your forties!
Tammy says
Congratulations! This is great news and so exciting! Wishing you a great pregnancy!
Roberta says
Congratulations, what wonderful news! Loved all the pictures of your family celebrating Christmas but one picture caught my eye. Your cat playing with the strings and ornaments on the bed. When our cat was young he ate everything. I had dropped a long piece of string and he swallowed it…but somehow he swallowed both ends of the string and the middle was wrapped around his tongue. Long story short…he ended up have surgery and about 6 inches of his intestine removed. The vet told us then he probably would not live long, he will be 17 this year so I think that was wrong. Just don’t want anyone else to go through that.
Ginny says
Thank you for the warning!
KAde says
Warmest Congratulations to you and Johnny! So pleased for you! How wisely you have spoken…babies in your forties is not at all to be compared to babies in your earlier years, I know from experience! Be gentle with yourself. God bless and keep you and your dear family!
Dawn says
Oh, Ginny! What wonderful news! I was 43 when our adoption from Korea finally came through, and became a mother of a 5 month old little girl. So, though I didn’t experience pregnancy at that age, I sure had the experience of mothering as an older mama, having given birth to my first baby at 37. You have so much love to give and so many helping hands and hearts surrounding you. Let the kids pamper you and help you during this time. Their hearts will be glad for it. What a gift this child will be to the world and to your family.
Kate says
Ginny,
Congratulations! I will also keep you and your little one in my prayers
Suzy says
Such good news! I’m adding you and your little one to my prayer list!
Maryann says
Oh Ginny – congratulations! I’m also due in June and have shared some of your caution. Your slow Christmas looked perfect. I wish you all the very best from the other side of the world. God bless.
Mary says
Ginny!!!!! Congratulations! We’ll be excited for you until your heart can, too. So happy for you friend! May this little one grow strong and healthy and be welcomed face to face with joy this summer. And from what I understand, the synthetic progesterone often exacerbated pregnancy symptoms so that could account for the extra hard trimester and likely not at all an age thing 😉
Marilyn says
Congratulations Ginny. This is such good news for you and your family. Will keep you in my prayers . God Bless.
Marilyn
arianne says
Congrats. I am not the only one! I am currently pregnant with number eight and have never been more tired in my life. Both my grandmothers and mother had babies in their forties. They were all Mormon. I have left the Mormon church and moved toward real Christianity. The only thing I miss is having that as an excuse when people ask why we have so many kids. ?
Stacy says
Congratulations! What a lucky baby!
Victoria Wilkes says
Congratulations!! My mother in law has sadly had many losses amid her 7 healthy babies. She was 47 when she had her last child, a little firecracker who blesses us all. I am so happy for you! Progesterone has helped friends of mine as well, I am thankful it helped you too.
Lee Cockrum says
Congratulations!! I hope that you feel better and better, and that both you and the baby stay healthy!
Sarah says
Dear Ginny,
I am your gazillionth congratulations I am certain in this online world! But I wanted to send it all the same. I am a year plus older than you and am expecting my ninth in early May. I too thought I had moved into the next phase… my oldest is 19 and I spent the last two years dealing with a brain tumor and surgery etc :-(.. God has other plans though and here I am- pregnant(!) my name is actually Sarah- ha! In December I bought one of your swaddling blankets for this new baby of ours. It brings me joy that you too will be welcoming new life this mid year. I have made baby knits in the past inspired by you and I want to thank you for continuing to blog. God bless you and all your family!
Ginny says
Dear Sarah, Wow! How amazing! Congratulations and my prayers are with you for good health and a healthy baby!
Carla Fawcett says
How wonderful. My grandma was 43 when she had my mother. My mom was the last of 8
Blessings on you. Praying for your country and your family
Emily DeArdo says
OH GINNY!
Congratulations!!!!!!!!
Josette says
Yay for you and you wonderful family. We followers of Ginny always marvel at your virtues and creativity. What a wonderful read after all I’ve read about the events of Jan 6, 2021…
Antonia says
Congratulations! I am happy for you, and maybe a wee bit jealous since I am really over the hill and would be a Sarah.?