Every little thing feels like it takes so much effort right now. A couple of weeks after my miscarriage, I started feeling pretty low physically. Since then I’ve had multiple doctor’s appointments, an ultrasound, and two rounds of blood work. I’ve lost maybe half my hair. My thyroid meds have been tweaked and I’ve spent too much money on supplements. I’m trying to be patient, and every day I expect that I’ll wake up and feel normal again. Some days are definitely better than others, but so far, I’m not feeling entirely normal. I’m functioning, but I do so while thinking about crawling into bed. There’s nothing drastically wrong with me, and thankfully I’m not depressed. I think that I am simply still dealing with the effects of the miscarriage on my hormones and my thyroid function.
I tell you all this because I know you must be wondering why I am posting Halloween costume photos in mid-November. No, I’m just kidding. I know you weren’t thinking anything of it.
I am not a huge fan of Halloween for several reasons, but I caved to the pressure years ago and I’ve been letting my kids dress up and trick or treat. The dressing up part is great. I am not into putting costumes together myself, but I recognize how much fun it is for my kids. The candy part is terrible. When I had fewer kids I would buy “all-natural” candy and trade it for the candy that they came home with. I don’t do that anymore. It’s too expensive and too much effort. I’m too tired. And I’d be too tired for that even if I wasn’t this tired. I realize that I could take their candy away and slowly dole it out over weeks and weeks. But instead, I try not to think about it too much and let them eat it quickly. (Don’t look to me for parenting advice.)
Catholics go to Mass the day after Halloween for All Saints Day. My youngest three children were so poorly behaved at that service, having eaten an awful amount of candy that day, that I promised them that they’d never trick or treat again. Those three are always a little (a lot) naughty at Mass but this time they were crazy. If you have kids that misbehave in Mass you would have loved seeing that your kids aren’t the only ones. We would have had you beat in the bad behavior department. Candy aside, I loved Larkspur’s mushroom cap, and I spent half an hour using a small piece of orange chalk to color Beatrix’s Anne of Green Gables hair. Silas was Paul Bunyan and you’ll just have to guess who Job was. (Keats insisted on the same costume at that age.) Mabel has been on a unicorn kick for weeks and weeks, so her costume was a no brainer. I sewed her funny little skirt and even added a pink yarn tail in the back. It worked. But never again, I tell you. Never again. There will be no more trick or treating for this bunch. I mean it.
A few days after Halloween, we celebrated Job’s 6th birthday. I finished his hat in time and he loves it, though maybe not as much as he loves the new truck I bought him. I felt most clever for buying him a little cast iron dutch oven for use over the hobo campfire. Every time something such as oatmeal is cooked over the fire in that little pot and then I am asked to wash it out (because it’s apparently “too hard” for a child to clean), I feel less clever. For the second year, Jonny and I took Job out for a lunch date on his birthday followed by a visit to our local children’s bookstore so he could choose a book. He picked out Mother Bruce, which is pretty cute. I highly recommend birthday outings. I was tired and didn’t feel up to decorating or making a big fuss on Job’s birthday, but when you add an outing, it makes the day memorable. He’ll never know that I was wanting to go back to bed all day. He’ll remember the alone time with Jonny and me. (Maybe you actually should take parenting advice from me after all.)
p.s. Keats played the viola in a concert over the weekend with our senior regional orchestra, a position he auditioned for. He worked so hard, practicing hours a day for months leading up to the audition, and even more so after he made it in and received the pieces they would be playing. He moved from 13th chair (out of 16) to 5th chair when they had chair auditions the day before the concert. He didn’t expect to make it into this orchestra to begin with, and I’m really proud of him. The concert was amazing, and I loved the guest conductor that worked with them. He was warm and charismatic and really challenged the kids with the pieces they played. I think it was a real privilege for Keats to be a part of it. And of course, it was fun for me to see him all dressed up. (He didn’t think that part was fun at all.) See if you can pick him out in the third photo down. You can see him in the last photo as well, towards the right hand side, if you look closely.
Mrs. Laura Lane says
God bless you. I’m sorry for your loss. I hope you regain strength soon.
Kym says
Your doctor may have already done this, but if not, definitely have your ferritin levels checked. Low ferritin levels are common with Hashimoto’s and the signs are excessive hair loss and extreme fatigue. I suffered for years after a miscarriage and heavy cycles before I discovered my ferritin levels were so low they could not be measured. It took IV iron infusions to get my levels up and the difference was night and day. You may need to get your levels up to a higher range than is considered “normal” before you see and feel results. Many women need their levels to be above 75 to sustain hair growth and to feel better. I’ll be praying you find some answers to help you. Hugs!
Anne S. says
Hi Ginny, I have an autoimmune disease, and when it flares up, the fatigue is so intense that I describe it as being like Mononucleosis x100. So I’ve been there and can sympathize with your tiredness. All we can do is keep moving forward until there are better days. My personal motto is “it could always be worse” and it has gotten me through brain surgery, food poisoning that put me in the hospital for five days, and an allergic reaction to prednisone that left me unable to walk for months. It helps me keep chugging along <3
Marilyn says
Hope you are feeling better. The costumes are cute. Prayers for you. Congratulations Keats. great honor
Marilyn
Marilyn says
Hope you are feeling better. The costumes are cute. Prayers for you. Congratulations Keats.
Marilyn
Jenny says
Been reading and loving your blog and personality for years, Ginny. I am new to commenting, though! I have had misscarriages and lost a baby at 8 months pregnant due to a rare genetic disease. You will be in my prayers. I have 5 children- My oldest is a 16 year old boy and I feel as proud and in awe of him as I sense you feel of Keats! My youngest is 4. This year I realized that though I too am not a fan of Halloween, I love the creativity it brings out in those who put together homemade costumes!!! I let my kids have some candy on Halloween, they eat 1 or two after lunch everyday after for about a week, then we donate the rest! I look forward to your posts-thanks for opening up a bit of your life to us.
Ginny says
Hi Jenny,
Thanks so much for commenting and for sharing some of your story. I am so sorry for the babies you have lost.
Love,
Ginny
Rita Moeller says
My daughter had her thyroid completely collapse after the birth of her first daughter. She couldn’t, literally, couldn’t get out of bed. I thought it had to be mononucleosis. But it was a collapsed thyroid. Which is evidently not so unusual with Hashimoto’s and pregnancy. With her second child, she was waiting for it. It didn’t cause the extreme exhaustion but 3 months after Ariel’s birth she discovered she had put on close to 50 lbs. AFTER the birth. She should have been shedding weight, what with breast-feeding. But, there you go….the thyroid is a tricky gland. This time she went to a different doctor who tested her hormones and found she had very little estrogen. With estrogen patches plus thyroid adjustments she lost all her weight and regained her energy.
So give yourself credit for what you can do! She only had the two. You are besting her in every department!
On the trick or treating front, my daughter lets them eat what they want the night of Halloween and then if they want, they can trade their candy in to the “Great Pumpkin” [from a Peanuts TV show] for a toy. They always choose the toy, but it is their choice. You do have to buy the toys although they don’t have to be too expensive.
karen says
I’m sorry you are feeling under the weather and hope that you feel better soon. The kids costumes are great! I would let the kids eat a piece or two a day then at night sneak some for myself and that cut the amount down 🙂
Heather says
Hi Ginny, I know this was a couple of posts ago, but I wanted to thank you for sharing about hearing Itzhak Perlman play the Schindlers List theme. Last December I had a very late miscarriage. I was in the hospital facing a long night after a long day of waiting for the induction to kick in and I was channel surfing, trying to avoid all the holiday movies and HGTV shows that in no way helped what I was feeling. Suddenly I stumbled upon Mr. Perlman on PBS about to play Schindlers List. What a gift and a balm to my soul it was! And that was on TV! I can’t imagine hearing it in person. Your post expressed your experience so beautifully, and it reminded me again of all those painful and glorious feelings that only love and grief can bring.
Ginny says
Dear Heather, Thanks so much for sharing this. What a heartbreaking time that you described so perfectly–the love and the grief. I am so sorry for your loss.
Love, Ginny
Lana says
Natural progesterone cream was a miracle for me about 15 years ago and I still use it even after going through menopause. I highly recommend the books by Dr John R Lee and I believe you can find information by him online. I use Emerita Progest as it is the most natural and scent free one I could find. Hubby calls it my happy cream. I hope this helps.
Catherine says
Your youngest is adorable! Never mind about bad behaviour , Jesus said Bring the little chidren to me. We had a vicar who reassured parents with “Let us make a joyful noise unto the Lord”. The mass after Halloween maybe needs adjusting for E numbers and made more child friendl.
Flo says
I was also a mushroom for halloween at the same age, with a similarly handmade costume. Cute!
Marion says
Ginny I keep you in my prayers for improvement on your health. Love the children’s costumes, cute
Marion
Marion says
Ginny I keep you in my prayers for improvement on your health. love the children’s costumes.
Marion
Chrisi says
You’re all welcome to join me and Jamie and our just as unruly gaggle of kids for our lantern walk next year! I declared an end to Halloween, myself, at least the trick or treating and candy parts…
Ginny says
That sounds perfect!!!
Claire says
Oh, Ginny I am so sorry you’ve been feeling down! So hard when you have a household to run. I laughed out loud at your Halloween experiences! My kids also became possessed maniacs the day after Halloween, which had me confiscating all candy and holding it hostage for a few days until we all recovered! Would you like to hear one of my biggest parenting mistakes of all time? Some health food blog once gave me the great idea of introducing the Switch Witch to my kids. She takes the better part of your candy and leaves you a gift in exchange. Sounded great until I realized it made more work for me in buying gifts before Halloween. I kept hoping the kids would forget about her but they didn’t. I forgot the gifts one year and had to come up with some crazy excuse. This year I just blurted out at the first ridiculous mention of her name that she had retired! That was that! Done with the Switch Witch!
Karla says
I used to follow your blog regularly when I had a computer, but now that it’s just my phone, I stick to Izg for brief updates.
So sorry to hear about your miscarriage. I, too, lost a baby 4 years ago between kiddos #3 and #4. It took me a while to feel better but I am forever changed.
Also – I feel the EXACT same way about Halloween! I refuse to buy the overpriced outfits in store, tho, unless deeply discounted. My kids are welcome to put together outfits from their own wardrobes!
Joan says
Sorry that you are feeling so poorly. The children looked super cute with their costumes. Congratulations Keats.
Joan
Theresa Boedeker says
Lovely costumes. Keats looks so grown up in his suit. And yes, I would have loved to see your wild 3 in church. I remember going to church with one wild son and often we would sit behind a family of four boys. They sat stone still and made my son look like a wild one. I used to think the mom gave her son’s some Be Still pill before church. Then as soon as church was over, the four boys would jump up and be rowdy as can be. I never did figure out her secret.
Susan Kuhlman says
When I was seven years old, my mother went away for the winter with friends who vacationed in Florida. You need this. I know it is hard for you to see this. I do not even know you, have dumb obnoxious dogs and am seventy years old, but I would volunteer to help you out this winter. You need a break. Send out a sos and let people help you.
Leslie F says
There is no tired in the world like ‘thyroid tired’ – even a small deviation from my normal “med time” makes me feel wonky.
Don’t worry about the Halloween candy – it’s a once-a-year treat and it is so much fun to sort through and see/try different kinds and trade with your siblings/friends! Lark’s mushroom costume was awesome and so creative! They will treasure their Halloween memories just like they do birthday outings/celebrations.
Keats was easy to spot – he’s the very image of Jonny – congratulations to him on such a great achievement!
Thank you so much for sharing your family with us!
Jordin says
Oh, Ginny. I’m so sorry for your loss. You have had hard losses in your life. And adding in the hormone imbalance, I can imagine you are doing everything you can to bring joy.
Cheryl says
Congratulations to Keats, and May you feel much better sooner than soon.
eileen says
I’m so sorry you are feeling poorly. Thyroid issues have plagued me for decades and pregnancy played havoc with my thyroid. It does and will get better, time works tweeking thyroid levels.
Keats looked great in his suit and what an accomplishment, 5th seat! Would of loved to hear the concert.
I am not a fan of ‘trick-or-treat’ either. I did let the kids do Halloween when young, a block, maybe two, but by 5th grade I just bought them candy . Dressing up was fun, though a little stressful, candy, my kids never finished their candy and I would end up throwing it away. but what a weird holiday, going out asking for candy?
Take care, one day at a time.
Erin says
I’m sorry you’re so exhausted, Ginny, and hope you might consider conventional treatment for your thyroid issue. I’ll always remember a friend many years ago explained how she knew she needed meds; she’d come home from work and fall onto the couch, having no inclination to play with her 18-mo-old, all the while having tears slip down her face. She was so exhausted she didn’t even realize how badly she felt. When the thyroid med (was it Armour?) took hold, she improved dramatically. It has had to be tweaked every now and then. It’s very hard to go through life tired and I’m sorry you’re dealing with that.
Ginny says
Thanks, Erin! I do take conventional meds for my thyroid and have for years. (Armour is considered the more “natural” treatment and didn’t work for me at all.) Unfortunately, things can still get out of whack because Hashimoto’s doesn’t have one easy fix, and I think having my hormones fluctuate so much because of the pregnancy and miscarriage really messed me up. So even on meds, I sometimes feel bad. It should get better though.
Erin says
Oh, I’m sorry you are dealing with all that; somehow I thought you took only natural meds. I hope your doctor can help your body get straightened up very soon!
Taryn says
I came to your blog this morning to catch up on some reading. I’m grateful you still write here, I always enjoy your posts. Well wishes to you all, as always!
Sylvia says
Try The Ringer, it is a stainless steel chain for cleaning cast iron. We heard about it from someone else and tried it. Makes cleaning cast iron so much easier and better for the cast iron.
Ginny says
I will! Thank you! We use a lot of cast iron, so that sounds great.
Larissa says
Thanks for being here, for being so honest, I read myself in so much of what you share. Grateful. Praying with you for the Grace if health and wholeness and strength and patience in the work and waiting.
Tonya Gunn says
Thinking of you with much love Ginny….
Nathana says
I appreciate your vulnerability. Walking through miscarriage is a journey physically and emotionally. While I had some heightened anxiety, I made it through several big moves, financial hardships, my husband’s job changes, twins and thus three kids two and under. But when the boys quit nursing around 18 months, I began struggling with weight gain, fatigue, and depression/anxiety (depression was new to me). It is a year later and work in progress. I also wanted to say, as a fellow photographer, your photographs on your blog have always been a source of inspiration and joy for me! Thank you! Blessings.
Corina says
I don’t know that I’ve ever commented before, but I LOVE your photography and your words – I’m always excited to see something new from you.
I’m so sorry that you’ve been feeling bad. I, too, have Hashimoto’s and struggle with issues related to it. I’m writing to ask if you’ve tested/treated your adrenals?? That has been something that my newest doctor has wanted to test/treat and it really, really makes a difference in how I’m feeling and my ability to get out of bed. I take a supplement (Dr. Wilson’s) and it greatly helps me. How many years could I have felt better if I had known to look at it?? Praying that you are feeling much better very soon.
Ginny says
I think they looked into that when I was first diagnosed, but that’s been a few years, so maybe time to revisit. Thank so much for mentioning it!
LouAnne says
Keeping you in my prayers, Ginny that the Lord will bless you with strength and peace and comfort for the tired days. <3
Pam Gallant says
Thyroid issues are rough. Be gentle with yourself❤
What is the pattern for that cute hat?
Ginny says
Oh, I meant to link to it! Here’s it is: https://www.ravelry.com/patterns/library/beeswax-hat
Ginny says
Thank you!