We survived our first week back to homeschooling co-op and orchestra days. We looked at plant cells under the microscope in the biology class I am teaching and I was happliy taken back to college botany lab. I was more excited than most of the kids. Some of them are freaking out a little over the class because they assume biology is hard and I’m hoping to convince them that biology is fascinating and fun. Throughout class several of them kept making bad jokes about mitosis and I had no idea what they were talking about. I kept thinking they were asking genuine questions when they weren’t and it was all very confusing. Middle schoolers are a tough crowd.
Seth started college and is adjusting well and Jonny had another round of in-person interviews. Gabe is going to swing dances and Keats is practicing viola for hours and hours. (In case you were wondering what the big boys are doing. Wait-I didn’t mean to lump Jonny in with the “big boys” but I guess that’s what I did.) August has flown by, and I don’t really mind. It’s never been my favorite month. It’s typically too hot and too full of school preparations for me to really relax and enjoy those last days of summer. And honestly, this summer has been crappy anyway.
There have been some nice days. One afternoon, Beatrix and I filled buckets with goldenrod and I spent a week dyeing dozens of skeins of yarn in shades of yellow and green. It wasn’t my original plan to dye so much with one plant, but every time I pulled skeins out of the dyepot, glowing yellow, I started more. I can’t seem to get enough yellow. I also love the olive green shades that result when I add a little iron to the dyebath. I’m going to do my best to update my neglected shop next week with my goldenrod skeins. I showed Mabel a couple of sunny skeins and asked her if she would wear a sweater that color and she answered, “Sure!” though her favorite color is no longer yellow, but a tie between pink and purple.
Through it all, I’ve been meaning to write here, but guys, I can’t go two minutes without an interruption, and actually two seconds might be more accurate. I used to write five blog posts a week! What happened? My kids got older and started staying up later and I also got older, and more importantly, more tired. When I was in my thirties, I could have kids in bed by 9 and then I’d write blog posts, knit, and do other projects till midnight or later. If you find me awake at midnight these days it’s because someone’s throwing up or had a bad dream, and I’m not happy at all. I’m in a new season, that’s for sure. Mama goes to bed by 10. Lights out at 10:30 (unless my book is really good. I try to avoid pageturners for that reason-ha!) A couple of my kids stay up later than I do. There’s not a quiet waking moment. And I can’t write unless I have quiet. It’s a conundrum!
A couple of months ago when we moved Mabel’s bed into the big girls’ room, we put a chair in it’s spot. Most nights, two out of three of my older boys (Gabe and Seth) take turns sitting down in that chair to talk with me. (Keats isn’t a talker and it kills me.) Clearly this isn’t the solution to my lack of quiet time, but an acknowledgement of the reality that there are times in life when our priorities shift, and rightly so. These boys won’t be with me for much longer. My advice if you have older kids, specifically teenage boys that aren’t going to crawl in the bed next to you (like my girls do): put a cozy chair at the foot of your bed.
And now, back to the Herman Melville story I am reading so that I can help Keats and Gabe who have been assigned it in their literature class. No risk that I’ll be tempted to stay up past 10:30 to keep reading.
p.s. Jonny made the pencil holders for me to use in my 3 year-olds class at co op. I sharpened a set of chubby, triangular pencils on both ends and he cut them in half to make smaller pencils and then drilled holes with a 7/16″ drill bit into chunks of maple to make cute little holders for them.
p.p.s. I started that indigo raglan sweater over three years ago and finally pulled it out of hibernation at Silas’ insistence. I’m on the second sleeve now!
Maggie says
Thank you for this post. Love the chair idea. I have felt this shift for a while now but it helps so much to see someone else put it into words. Loved reading many of the comments too.
Angie says
I haven’t even had time lately to read your lovely posts, but I’m so glad i read this one! So it’s not just me then? It’s a hard transition for me, feeling old and missing those sweet young years of my children at the same time. But i do love the teenager talks.
Taryn Wilson says
I also need quiet to write and it can be hard to come by. I’m okay with writing less often right now, many important things are filling the days. 🙂
Enjoy hearing what you guys are up to, as always. Love those goldenrod skeins- I’m also obsessed with that yellow color!
Shanelle says
Please would you post of picture of the cosy chair so we can all get one too!
Susan Kuhlman says
I love Moby Dick. I have a beautiful copy with Rockwell Kent illustrations. The best way is to read one chapter a day. You get a sense of the voyage, the descriptions of life on the ship and a chance to consider the personality of the captain. As the plot develops, think about nature (the whale) vs. people. Who will win in the end. As our planet declines with our assault on the ecosystem, we will decline and it will win. But the battle will be epic.
Lana says
Absolutely enjoy those children now even if you can only post once a month! This time is so quickly over. But, one day you can go and visit in their homes and cuddle your grandchildren which in it’s self is a season of blessing even though you will have time to post every single day.
Martha says
I just cranked out a bigger blog post than I’ve written in a while and have been trying to write for 2 wks now. Sigh. I hear you on shifting priorities and the battle to find time for the things that we love or that are life-giving to us. I was marveling as I read your post about how much you have influenced me and inspired me in the last number of years. Your blogging and the peek into your family life has enriched the lives of so, so very many families I am sure, but mine especially. Thank you for making the time. <3
Janet Reinhart says
I always enjoy hearing more of your family story! Say, I saw something recently – someone was dying things and used grated avocado seed to get a beautiful pink color! Have you tried this?
karen says
All of my kids are grown and gone – I loved being overly busy with their lives and I enjoy having lots of time to catch up on what I want to do (and my sleep). Loved reading about where you are in your life – sounds good!
Vera says
I would be really disappointed not to have news from you about the bigger boys. You are doing a good job and I look forward to everything you have to tell us all God bless you real good.
Hope says
Ginny,
Thank you for this post and for the many others that make me reflect and make me happy. I’m not great about reading the many emails that fill my inbox but when I receive one that brings news of a new post on small things, I grant myself the gift of time to enjoy your photographs, writing and the gift of a life shared with us all. So, thank you…again.
– Hope
Antonia says
Dear Ginny and other mamas,
I feel a little bit guilty reading your post and comments… I am 28, I have a 8-month old girl and go to bed every night at 9:30pm…!! I cannot function without some quality sleep. The first 2 months after she was born was probably the worst time of my life. I am so glad it’s better now as she wants to nurse only once at night.
Being such a newbie to motherhood, I cannot imagine staying up late talking with teenage kids but it seems very nice and loving. (Though I guess the reality is probably harder than it seems…)
Thank you for your sharing, Ginny, it always changes my perspective on life.
Melanie~MamaAshGrove says
One of our violin players is just now switching to viola- in fact he got it today!
I used to blog frequently too and I marvel at how on earth I managed it. Older kids are so much more work/time consuming than little ones, in my opinion!
MELISSA NICHOLS says
Same here, lights out at 10:30, and I’ve already been in bed an hour by then. Such similar stages, bigs and littles, and I am way too tired for anyone to talk to me at night. Hope you have a great school year.
Marilyn says
Ginny, you sure are busy. Glad you are getting along with the homeschooling. The yellow wool is so pretty. Mabel will look like a little sun beam when she wears that sweater.
Marilyn
Joan says
Love the pictures of Mabel being Mabel.
Joan
Marion says
Nice hearing from you Ginny. You sure have a busy life. Mabel is getting so big.
Marion
Pamela Hans says
What a great blog post! You might not have that much time but you are still filled with much to say. It’s so good hearing about children growing up and doing such a fine job of it. Today there is far too much emphasis on all the wrong things and your blog reminds us of all the beauty and gentleness in growing up with parents that listen and care. I am 71 and my children are grown with children of their own. I love seeing my grandchildren but it’s so hard sometimes not to say something about how their being raised. Recently, while visiting, my daughter-in-law was trying to get the 3-year to get ready to go out to dinner with us. He was dawdling and she said, “if you do not get ready I am just going to leave you here”. My heart sunk! I thought oh no, what a terrible thing to threaten and yet I couldn’t say a word. Of course, she would never do that so why put it out there as a means to get him to listen. What does a grandparent do? It’s so hard to watch but she’s not the kind of woman that would appreciate the feedback. Recently, she decided to go back to work having a 3 and 1-year-old at home. I said, “Oh, they’re little for such a short time”. She got enraged and my son was SO angry with me. So I have to watch what I say all the time. Now to get back to my original thought, reading about someone who is so kind and gentle with her children is such a joy and I appreciate everything you share.
Susan Kuhlman says
Remember, you made mistakes when you were raising your children.
Pamela says
Yes, I most certainly did. Thanks for reminding me!
Arenda says
“No risk that I’ll be tempted to stay up past 10:30 to keep reading.” HAHAHA! I love reading your posts!
Also: comfy chair in your bedroom = such a good idea. I’m keeping that one tucked away for ten years from now.
dorinalouise says
Wow, I can really relate about feeling so tired by 10/10:30 and not being able to get everyone in bed for a quiet time to get things done . . and having the older kids up way past me. Everything flips, and I marvel at my younger self and the rhythm we had in those days. I miss it and it’s not easy settling into this new rhythm . . Sending you a big hug xoxo
GretchenJoanna says
What you say about the teen-aged boys is so true! I have very fond memories of talking with my sons, who needed their mother for a certain type of talk and feedback and support. When they fly the coop, some of them might take a while before they “come back” to some sweet fruit of those hours of fellowship, but they likely will eventually. If you are willing to give up more of your solitude for it now, you will have joy many years down the road.
Becky says
I used to spend soooo much time driving kids back and forth to school, practices, church activities, lessons etc. It was a great time to hear them talking to their friends and including me in what was going on in their lives. I used to have a hard time staying awake when one of mine would come sit on my bed and talk after I had gone to bed at night. I cherish those memories as they are grown now and have littles of their own. I still drive past the school and smile at the memories we made. I love seeing your photos and reading your blogs…..and your beautiful yarn!
Sarah says
Oh I can so relate! I find life more crazy than ever now my kids are teenagers. Days seem to throw more at me and it’s all out of my control- find thar so hard! You’re doing great!! Xx
Andrea Wells says
I love the chair in your room! We had “the shift” a few years ago, where big kids needed more homework help after littles went to bed and I never had a free moment. My husband was away much of that year for work and I had 7 kids from newborn to 16. I was never home enough during the day to get all the household chores done, always in and out. In order to keep up with laundry for our family of 9, every time I was home, even for a few minutes, I’d throw in another load of laundry and dump all the clothes from the dryer on my bed. When my older kids got out of school for the day, the little kids and I would pick them up and head out to their sports and activities, get as much homework done as possible at sports practices/games, get home to eat dinner and then it was bedtime for the littles and often 8 or 9 o’clock. I’d help the big kids with their homework til 10 or 11 when I just couldn’t do anymore and then I’d go in my room to fold all the laundry from the day. It became the norm for my high school kids and middle schooler to trickle into my room as they finished up their homework and join in to help me fold the clothes, tell me about their day, and just talk. We have transitioned again with 2 kids in college now and our youngest in kindergarten. That year was a rough, but I remember those hours of folding clothes in my bedroom with my big kids as very precious time.
Susan Kuhlman says
When I was in fourth and fifth grade, both my mother and sister were in mental hospitals. I stood on a chair and ironed my dad’s shirts. Only certain items were folded. Otherwise we just pulled clothes from the laundry basket as we needed them. I decided that the place needed dusting and did it. It was better then than when the crazy people came home. Have your kids do their own laundry. Give them chores. Cut back on activities. Come on…what are you doing to yourself?
Emily DeArdo says
Ohhh I feel ya on the Melville. Blah! 🙂
Kate says
I taught a co-op of middle schoolers for two years and I can relate. The second year was much better when I shared the responsibility with another mom, We bounced ideas off each other and were much more creative and I and the kids enjoyed it more. Reducing the kid to adult ratio is always a good idea.
I’ve been in that new season for years now. I keep asking myself why I could get so much done when I had a bunch of little ones and was either pregnant or nursing than I can now with teenagers and college kids? Am I getting worse at multi-tasking? Are my brain circuits hardening? Am I getting less flexible? (I know my body definitely is.)
Anne says
I’m so glad you wrote this. My kids aren’t quite that old yet, but I can feel the shift coming.
Jane says
Oh I love that advice about the comfy chair in the bedroom for your big boys. Those chats are precious.