I just scrolled through these photos and ended up in slightly exhausted tears over the beauty of our recent days-the visit to the pumpkin patch with friends, our first frost, the beauty that I sometimes forget until I sit down to look at what I captured with my camera. Looking at my photos I can forget for a moment the messes, the laundry that needs sorting and washing, the dirty bathroom that I keep meaning to get to. This week has been challenging. Nothing catastrophic, nothing major, just your average so much work, not enough rest sort of week. The sort of week I think we can all relate to. The kind that makes you cry but you feel like you’re crying for no good reason. And in the midst of this one, Jonny and I celebrated our twentieth anniversary with a very quick lunch out during which my planner was open and on the table so we could get the coming crazy days laid down on paper. We were both fighting head colds, and we just had to laugh at the situation.
Our anniversary really was somewhat comical. It fell on one of our busiest days of the week and while we could have cleared some of the schedule, we decided not to for some silly reason. I ended up at church at one point for Keats’ organ lesson with Jonny, Larkspur, and Beatrix, along with two friends and a pet bunny (not ours). I was assured that the bunny would be fine in the vestibule of the church because he’s very holy (was blessed on the feast of St. Francis) and is, more importantly, litterbox trained.
Later, while Jonny was running kids to evening events I was home making dinner with the younger kids. The night turned into an absolute circus. Silas and Job are making robot costumes for Halloween from cardboard boxes and duct tape and there was a disagreement that led to Job stomping Silas’ costume. There were big tears, and during my attempt to head off any violence, the falafel I was cooking ended up a crispy black. At some point I yelled. Not at anyone, just a random “Aaaaaaaah!” I don’t often do that, and it startled the kids. I apologized, and we moved on.
I remembered a moment the day before when I sat on the couch, morning chores complete, binding off the neck of Larkspur’s South Bay Sweater. For some reason, I felt so peaceful sitting there. I wasn’t worried about a thing, my to-do list didn’t seem so urgent, and all was well in the world. Those moments may be few and far between lately, but they do exist. And now Larkspur has a warm and cozy sweater to wear this winter, and she’s happy about that.
That night, after the younger kids were in bed, I was too exhausted to do anything but go to bed myself, disappointed that this was how we spent our “big” twentieth anniversary. I heard piano music coming from the other room, one of the older boys playing. And it reminded me of why we do what we do, and how all the seemingly mundane tasks come together and become a life that really is beautiful at the end of the day. We are in a hard place right now: our youngest children still absolute handfuls, our oldest applying to college and needing our help and support, and a bunch of kids in between with their own needs. And we have so much love for all these kids and want so much to do our best for them. There’s a purpose in all this, and it’s all for good. This is important work. It’s just really hard. Somedays are more difficult than others, maybe especially those big milestone days, when you want to make it special but your real life is keeping it, well, real.
I think we’ll celebrate for the next few weeks. Maybe twenty years calls for a more longterm celebration. Maybe a party in a few weeks. That’s a good idea, I think. I’m going to start digging through old photos of Jonny and me to share…I’ll share them with you too.
Holy Bunny from Ginny Sheller on Vimeo.
Vivian says
Oh Ginny….we just celebrated our 24th anniversary….both of us down for the count with a nasty GI bug. Life is a little to real sometimes. Love to you.
karen says
hang in there! We had our thirty year anniversary and didn’t plan anything – I kind of wish we did. This year, (31) we picked up subway for dinner because I babysat that day and he had a long meeting….Life is life!
Marybeth says
Happy Anniversary. Just so you know you are not alone, we all have those kinds of days. I am a happy person but some days I just cry in the shower from exhaustion and feeling like I am not good enough. Then I put on my big girl panties and keep going. I have very important people depending on me. Just like you.
Everything doesn’t have to be done right now. I promise your kids are not going to remember dust bunnies under the beds or dishes in the sink. They will remember how you made them feel loved.
Bee says
Ah, Ginny, I’m with you – I’ve had a similar kind of week. Our lives may be very different, but mine was filled by too many tasks, concerns, anxieties, and problems as well. At the same time, though, there were definite moments of grace. I love that you captured some of yours with your camera :).
I’ve said this before, but I just have to say it again after seeing these pictures: Beatrix gives me such a strong Anne-of-Green-Gables-vibe, I LOVE it. I hope she’ll always keep that spunk!
And ha, the “holy bunny” and you yelling “Aaah!” made me laugh :).
Happy belated anniversary to you and Jonny. Wishing you another week filled with beautiful moments!
Lady Locust says
Ginny,
What a dear you are. Glad you found a moments peace during a chaotic time. We are now empty nesters, and it’s weird! Wasn’t it just yesterday they were bickering in the back seat, trying to see if they could still fit in the laundry basket, and playing flashlight tag? I wish I were close enough to come help. I am usually awkward at knowing what to do to help, but I do know how to do laundry and clean bathrooms. All this to say, I wish you and your family many blessings in the days to come.
Elizabeth says
Oh Ginny! Celebrate for WEEKS!!!! 20 years is a real accomplishment!!! I pray that this season, with all it’s busy and hard, will have moments of beauty and peace for you. God bless and protect every one of you!!! beautiful pictures as always!!! Love how beautiful your family is! <3
Rain says
Your words summed up this crazy life some of us have chosen/been blessed with beautifully! I have seven kids aged 23-11 months, and it is CRAZY!! If we had only stopped at a few, life would be less insane yes, but less rich too. Our last baby was born at only 27 weeks last Novemeber when I was 46! It has been one of the hardest and craziest years of my life. But she is the best surprise ever! Which also means I will be 64! when she is 18. There will be no quiet years, maybe some quiet moments though. This is why I knit. But seriously, it is very hard! You are an amazing mama and have scupted a beautiful life. My mantra (life scripture verse) is “not to grow weary in doing good”. And you can absolutely extend your anniversary celebration. My husband and I celebrated our anniversary one year 9 months late , during our less busy season when we were able to get away for a WHOLE weekend. I still think about that weekend fondly. We celebrate 25 years this January. xo
Nathana Clay says
I always feel comforted by your honesty. Thank you! I struggle so easily with the daily struggle of too much to do and too many messes threatening to steal the beauty and memories with my kids and husband. When I can step back and reflect–also often with my camera–I feel so blessed to live the life I have. I have thought of you many times yesterday and today because we are in Virginia for my sister-in-law’s wedding. They live in Roanoke and his family on top of a mountain near Eagle Rock. The venue is a gorgeous, tiny vineyard tucked away off a gravel road in the mountains. Virginia is beautiful. I can see why you love it!
Heather says
So many times I read your posts and wish I could sit down with a cup of tea and some knitting and just laugh and cry away an afternoon with you. This was one of those posts! We celebrated 22 years this summer, smack dab in the middle of trying to put in a *very* stressfully late garden, mourning and rejoicing in the transition of our third child graduating from our homeschool and heading to college, and finagling the other six through their daily needs and challenges somehow. It’s a beautiful mess… a holy mess. But it’s not easy. ((Hugs)) as you walk in faith and courage!
A. says
Posts like this are one reason that– even in times of internet loathing– your voice remains one of a small handful to which I return when I soften. Your struggles and joys resonate because so many of us experience the same, but you share them without additional trumpets and with simple pronouncements of the undergirding Word.
“There’s a purpose in this, and it’s all for good.”
Like a smooth pebble in a pocket, this humble truth grounds me. Light always swallows darkness in the end. May our Father continue to anchor you and Jonny, and happy 20 years! He is making something beautiful because of your faithfulness. May He give you many more.
p.s. That sweater is drop-dead lovely, and so is your daughter!
Antonia, Czech Republic says
Dear Ginny,
thank you for sharing this.
I love your blog and every time there is a new post I read it as soon as I can.
Your photos always give me the sense of “all is well in the world” as you put it. So to contrast it with what you wrote in this post makes me feel a bit more human, less have-to-be-perfect, have-to-do-it-all-today…
My husband and I have been married for 2,5 years and are expecting our first baby now. So 20 is wonderful (kind of impossible for me to imagine 🙂 ), I am so happy for you both and all your beautiful family!! 🙂
Thank you for doing what you do.
Dawn Harris says
My husband and I celebrated (I use that term loosely) our 21st anniversary this year. We decided that what is most worth celebrating is our life together not just the day of our wedding. We have been together since we were 16 so we’ve had lots of life together already and two wildly wonderful boys who make every day very REAL! A wise friend of mine one said “Every day is filled with beauty and disaster.” She is so right and the opportunity we all have is to always look for the beauty. I really believe it is always there. Blessings and wishes for many more happy years together. Peace!
Sandra Davidson says
We didn’t even celebrate our 50 other then be so content and happy we lasted and we were still lovingly together. I know that even with everything going in your life you and Jonny feel that loving contentment together.
Happy Anniversary and meant more. Love and Blessings to both of you
Kate says
Wishing you a very happy few weeks celebrating 20 years. Congratulations!
Victoria says
Thanks for being honest about how crazy life feels sometimes! Today was one of those days for me, and while I don’t wish crazy-busy days on anyone, it really does make me feel comforted to know that you experience those days too. And that it really is worth it even when it feels so mundane – I couldn’t point to any one grand thing I accomplished today but each day we live well is adding up to a really beautiful life. Thank you!
Bonnie says
Becoming parents is often not as difficult (for most of us) as being good parents. Your children are blessed that it is important to you and your husband. My children are now grown and although the hardest days are over, you never, ever stop loving and worrying over them. The blessing is that we get to do it at all. Love your thoughts. Thanks for sharing them?.
Marilyn says
I love those pumpkins. Larkspur looks so pretty in her sweater. You did such a lovely job. Beatrix and her friend look like they have a lot of animal friends. Larkspur and Beatrix are so pretty as is Beatrix’s friend.
HAPPY ANNIVERSARY GINNY AND JONNY
Marilyn
Joan says
Ginny,thank you for another interesting post. I love Larkspur’s sweater. Congratulations to you and Jonny on your 20 years anniversary.
Joan
Anna says
I always look forward to your posts and when one pops into my inbox I will read it then and there (even if I just skim it and then reread it later) though I’m afraid I rarely comment. I really appreciate your honesty and open-ness and although I “only” have five kids it’s good to know that other families are out there, even on the other side of the world, also struggling and laughing at the chaos. I don’t think I’m really being clear about my thoughts, suffice to say I enjoy your blog, congratulations on 20 years (doesn’t it fly by???) and here’s to savouring the peaceful moments.
Shirley says
Congratulations to you both
Penelope says
Congratulations and prayers for you both, Ginny! Twenty years … joy!! Oh, the blessings of children: large in number or small and few, our children improve us for the better. What a gift parenthood is, and to have a loving commited partner with whom to share the chores and joys? Oh what a priceless gift 🙂
Rita Moeller says
Oh Ginny, even on your hardest days your writing brings a peace to my life. You are a superb writer, you know? You bring your wonderful life, ordinary as you think it is, to life in your writings. It brings me instantly back to those days and I can remember them so well. Now I am a grandmother of 7 granddaughters [where are the boys? my husband yells] and I watch my children have their crazy, stressed, “ordinary” lives. Unemployment, bad schools, heart-wrenching decisions to move, change jobs, home-school–it’s going on everywhere. But, you write of it so well. Don’t ever stop!
S says
We went to Lowe’s and bought a dehumidifier for our 20th…. I understand. Congratulations!
Marion says
Congratulations on your 20th anniversary. Larkspur looks lovely in her pretty sweater. The pumpkins are nicely carved.
HAPPY HALLOWEEN
Marion
Theresa Boedeker says
I can so relate to your anniversary happening in the middle of busy life. Sometimes things just can not be as important and as blocked off as we want. But in the end, it is all beautiful. Happy anniversary. And yes, keep celebrating for a week or two. Twenty is a big year.
Becky says
Congratulations on 20 years! Your anniversary sounds like a birthday weekend at my house recently. It was somehow utter chaos, minor tragedy, and high comedy all in one, and was somehow also a really nice time and a day I look back on fondly. Sometimes real life is better than my expectations, even when it seems like it shouldn’t be. The sweater is absolutely beautiful. Lucky Larkspur!
Stephanie says
I always look forward to your posts. God’s blessings on your 20th anniversary. My husband and I ( kids grown up) try and make a whole day of it on our anniversary, and some years it doesn’t always work out because life gets in the way. We try and see the humor in it too.
Stephanie
S says
Happy Anniversary! At the end of the day, regardless how chaotic, you celebrated your making of a family – a big, sometimes messy, but never boring family! In the midst of crazy times, I always remind myself of what I took away from Katrina Kenison’s book, Gift of an Ordinary Day….that these are the days to cherish. You have seen tragedy up close – and in those awful days, you appreciate the “normal” days, the ones where your hair was on fire with chores and activities and sibling squabbles and getting food on the table and laundry done for a clean sports uniform – it’s our big messy life and we are so lucky to be wading through it each and every “ordinary” day. Your anniversary celebration wasn’t your lunch date – it was burnt falafel, holy rabbits and tattered costumes.
Tanya Wieler says
Ginny I so appreciate your honesty on the hard days. You are so right – there is so much beauty to find in the midst of the long and crazy days. Your photos are beautiful. Following your blog has always inspired me to take photos of the simple beauty found in the everyday; you have a gift for doing just that. My devotional reading today spoke so profoundly to me. I’m sure you’ve read it before. Turn to Day 19 of Consider the Lilies and read it again. Elizabeth’s message is so good! You were on my mind early this week for some reason so I’ve included you in my prayers all week. Happy 20th Anniversary to you and Jonny!
julia says
Such important lessons learned indeed! Thank you for sharing; putting them into inspiring words and beautiful pictures, whilst all very real!
Ann says
Oh Ginny, the sweater is fabulous and looks beautiful on Larkspur. I really had to laugh at the description of your 20th. We’ve been married 53 years and on our 50th celebrated at an RV park in Yermo, CA along I-15! This was the last stop after being on the road for over a month and because of the desert and distance to our home on the coast there was no way we could drive home so Yermo it was! It’s very desert like there and there is nothing attractive in our eyes about the place at all. Now every time we drive through we laugh at ourselves. Don’t believe what society thinks a celebration should look like and just enjoy where you are as it will pass very quickly.
Ruby says
I needed to read these words right now on this day at the end of my own real week. Thank you, Ginny. So divinely strange how sometimes that pat on the back just finds you somehow. Much love to you & J on 20 years! xoxo
Jan says
Lark’s sweater is stunning and when did she grow up? I think every home needs a holy bunny! As always, when I read your words I’m inspired. I’m a 78 year old grandmother (grands are 14, 12 and 10), former teacher, avid reader and crossword solver, sporadic knitter (a long-time advanced beginner, where sadly, I’ll probably stay). I’m in awe of all you do.
Susanne Huether says
Touching 🙂 Be blessed.
Kate says
Congratulations! 20 is a milestone, especially in our culture. Our seven kids range in age from 30 to 12, so I understand how you feel pulled in different directions. We have kids living on their own, kids in college, and two left at home whom I’m still homeschooling (and driving everywhere). If we’d only had the standard two kids, we’d be “done” now and living a completely different (boring?) life. As hard as it is, I’m grateful for our large family and the full, generous life they have given us. If it’s any consolation, it does get physically less demanding as they grow and become more independent. The emotional and mental space they demand still stays the same. Prayer becomes your “go to” solution for problems as they mature.
I can’t get over how mature and lovely Larkspur looks! Where’s the little girl?
Barb :0) says
Happy, Happy Anniversary !!!!!!!
Your photos are simply beautiful, especially the last one of Larkspur …. She looks lovely and the sweater is perfect :0)
Life is indeed Good ……. even during dark hours. It can seem overwhelming and then something so simple and wonderful happens and we realize how very blessed we are :0)
Emily DeArdo says
I want a holy bunny, STAT!
Congratulations on 20 years!!
Laura says
?holy bunny
Jolaine Snyder says
Ah, we celebrated our 48th anniversary yesterday and it was made “special” by having our 2 year old grand-daughter at our house while her 7 year old brother had surgery on his arm, having had a playground accident. My husband and I had just gotten home, myself from staying with the other grandchildren (16 yr old hormonal grand-daughter and rambunctious 7 year old male/female twins) for over 3 weeks and husband from two hunting trips, so we were ready for some “down time” and a nice dinner out. But then last night. in reflection, we were so grateful for the family we have and the opportunity to be able to spend time and help family! Our family is our anniversary “present”. Love them all!
Sandra says
Your photographs, beautiful as always – your honesty touching and so real. Your generosity of spirit shines from your pages – your children are adorable. I do hope some peaceful moments sustain you through the coming weeks. Congratulations!
Michelle says
Beautiful and true.
Gillian R Hadden says
Thank you for the realness. We only have 3, but the days are so full and busy and overwhelming with kids and animals and gardens and projects. You’re right, you have to find the moments of peace and look at the beauty.
Jen says
I hear you. I celebrated my 45th birthday this week to little fanfare. My husband has been laid off for almost 5 months. I work part-time at home, but decided to go to a meeting at the office (the 2nd time this year) for a change of pace. We went out to breakfast and my husband made me dinner and cake. I didn’t see any friends, though I talked to one on the phone. In this season, I really think there’s something sacred about the ordinary. All 3 kids at home, making messes and demanding attention. So many of my dreams come true in the midst of this economic uncertainty. Real life.