As I sit here typing from the comfort of my bed, it is 9 degrees Fahrenheit outside. I know this, because I just checked the weather online, not because I’ve been out there today. We’re in the midst of a cold snap and I just want to hibernate. Of course my children expect life as usual, so I can’t exactly throw my hands up, and burrow under the quilts all day. They are hardier than I and are still bundling up for treks in the woods to see what is frozen and what isn’t. Yesterday, our dog Trudy fell through the ice on a shallow pond of sorts (more of a large puddle, I believe) and the splash threw tadpoles out of the water and all over the ice. My kids assured me that they rescued them all. Tadpoles in January! (I just typed December, and had to change it!)
Yes, it’s January! A new year, and a new decade for me. I turned 40 on Saturday! I had a lovely quiet birthday weekend with my sister, Abby, who drove up from Georgia just to celebrate with me. We had a quiet lunch out together and visited with some friends. I made cranberry gingerbread cobbler (my favorite dessert) and Abby tried to eat it while gingerly picking out the cranberries. We have lots in common, but evidently not my love for those tart little berries!
I’m thinking a little more about goals for this new year than I usually do, maybe owing to the big 4-0. Of course I want to organize my house and my life as I always do, but I also want to be kind to myself. I still battle that little voice in my head that whispers to me that I’m getting it all wrong, that I could do better, that I’m failing. It’s not as loud as it used to be, but it’s there. And maybe self doubt is just a part of being human, and it will always be there. I have to decide whether or not to listen to that voice, to give it power over me. It’s a trick, so best not fall for it. Here’s to a gentler, kinder 2018. I’m going to shush that little voice and carry on. I’ll do my best, and it won’t always be enough. That is life, and life is still good.
p.s. Yarn Along returns tomorrow!
Karen says
Happy birthday from frozen annandale ginny! I am just two years and a lot of knitting behind you.
Erin says
Happy Birthday Ginny xx. Here’s the great thing about the big 40 years that voice gets softer and softer and then you’re like take me as I am.
emcknits says
Happy Birthday! I would recommend checking out http://flylady.net/ She sends out emails to help you get and keep your house in order while FLYing (Finally Loving Yourself). I find them useful even if I am not organized yet:-)
Kat says
Happy Birthday, Ginny! Welcome to the wonderful 40s. I am part of the way through and it has a been a time to conquer my self doubt and insecurities and to better be in the special moments with my children and family and to cherish each one. Thank you again for your ever encouraging blog which is one of the few 8 read regularly because it is encouraging without creating stress or feeding my weaknesses of not doing enough. I have often told my husband that if we lived down the road I think we’d all be great friends! (We are out in the country but in Northern California) Have a wonderful new year.
Helena says
Happy birthday! We are having a cold snap here in FL too–highs in the 50s and freezes predicted for tonight, which I realize is not nearly as cold as what y’all up north are dealing with, but for here it’s plenty cold! Gotta move in all the plants tonight and make sure the hens have enough bedding to keep them warm. If I could hibernate I totally would, but as you say, the little people expect life as normal. 🙂
karen says
happy birthday! I would be hibernating if I didn’t have to leave the house nearly daily. I go to the gym three times a week and I then babysit two times a week. Phew! However, I find that my mind is less worried so that’s a good thing to being busy.
Caroline says
Wishing you a very happy birthday. And do your best to banish the little voice, she doesn’t know what she’s talking about. We all do our very best to get through this life and love and protect those closest to us. It’s all we can do and you are doing a good job.
So looking forward to this new year and the revival of yarn along.
Penelope says
Happy birthday Ginny! Wishing you are year filled with blessings and the best sort of surprises 🙂
Clémence says
I’m usually so fond of your pictures but even more of those is this article! That calm joy coming out of everyone on your family… this is just terribly beautiful!
Happy birthday! Being kind to ourselves, ah, isn’t this a life journey? But we must be getting better everyday!
Nadia says
Dear Ginny,
Sometime in the last year (my 49th), I awoke telling myself to “lay down your arms”…and some moments I still have to disarm that voice. I’m not really a warrior type, though not without ferocity. It’s a violence we do ourselves, even when a small quiet voice, and it needs scolding. Walk it to the property line. My 5th decade was the most wondrous, tender, exhilarating, and fierce yet. I hope the same for you.
Robyn Nichols says
Ginny, several months ago I read on your blog about a cream or lotion you use for your childrens exzema. Would you please tell me what the product is again. My 10 month old granddaughter is experiencing some exzema, and I would like to get something that would bring some relief. Hope you had a great birthday!
Thanks, Robyn
Ginny says
Hi Robyn! I use LuSa Organics “Da Balm.” http://www.lusaorganics.com/natural-skin-care-balm-p/da-balm-p.htm
I hope it works for you! We love it!
Pam says
I love this post, so honest and sweet. I will be 70 this year in March and I question so much of my life. It was way from perfect with three marriages and two children. I wish I did life better but I know I did the best I could. I grew up with an alcoholic Mom who I found dead in bed when I was 17. My father had left us so I felt responsible for what happened. Spent my life in therapy trying to do life better. Finally my kids treat me awful and worship their father who has now past. It’s painful but I try to find peace by volunteering and knitting. Life is not easy for sure but forgiving ourselves is the key to peace.
Melodie says
I was so touched to read this Pam. You are enough, you have enough, you do enough – it is a mantra my husband tells himself everyday and I want to pass it on to you. He was raised in an alcoholic family and has found great peace through the Al-Anon organisation (for people affected by alcoholics).
Ginny says
Dear Pam, Thank you for sharing your own heartache here. I have days when I feel like I’ll never be able to truly rise above my own past (most of which I cannot talk about in this public place). Our best is still full of brokenness, and I guess there’s just no way around that. I do my best to accept what was and what is and move forward, and it sounds like you have done the same. You are in my prayers. Love, Ginny
Marion says
HAPPY BIRTHDAY. Cold here too. 8 yesterday,20’s today. Might get some snow tomorrow into Thursday. Have a wonderful 2018. We love cranberries. Your recipe sounds delicious.
Marion
Pamela says
Happy Birthday, your blog is gorgeous, your words truly heart honest. You are a beautiful soul. I am 62 and can tell you this…simplicity is soothing as I see you already know. I live the same, chickens, rabbits, etc… I knit and crochet too. I listen to your words so sincere and soft it’s soothing. I offer this wisdom…time will calm the noise in your mind, the questions, the self doubt it all silences itself with time. We do the best we can with our family and learn ourselves as we go. No one does it right or wrong, it simply comes down to what you want them to learn. Myself all I wanted to teach my children, kindness, respect, common courtesy, can’t doesn’t exist, responsibility and compassion. All was taught, and they are caring and successful people. The caring for me is the important they are good to others and that to me is what makes life beautiful, simply love. We all question ourselves as we age it’s human nature as parents…but…in the end it all works out for them and you.
Lori says
Happy Birthday!
Andee says
Happy Birthday!!! For the record I sent my kids off to school in the clothes they were wearing yesterday. I had to dig them out of their beds and from out of the blankets. If I didn’t have to get out of bed myself to do farm chores I might have slept in myself. Hibernating is just want I want to do!!! Hibernating with yarn 🙂
Melissa says
Those pictures of you and Johnny with Mabel just made my day! Absolutely precious ❤ I too just turned 40 on the 28th and it is definitely surreal to say the least. Cheers to a new decade of wise growth and silencing that pesky naysaying voice!
Sandra Davidson says
Happy Birthday Ginny, 40 is still quite young these days but every year we gather more wisdom and life tells us to slow down and enjoy everyday the best you can. Hugs and blessings for the New Yeat Sandra
Michelle says
I love reading your blog, and today really spoke to me. I found myself speaking harshly to my Self in my head yesterday, blaming myself for not overcoming my own defects, to the point of bringing myself to tears. It took a long time to remember that God is the one who can make the changes, and my job is just to show up and do my best. Here’s to trying easier (rather than harder!) in the new year!
Laurel says
A very happy birthday to you, dear Ginny! That cobbler sounds scrumptious.
We are experiencing another drought year here in California, it seems. Hardly a drop all winter, although we will finally get a little later this week. It hardly feels like winter and sometimes I wish to be in a place that gets snow and freezing weather so I can experience that coziness and desire for hibernation.
Happy New Year!
Andrea says
Happy birthday, Ginny! It’s my birthday week, too, although I turn 55 on Sunday. How lovely to have your sister with you, I dearly wish my twin and I could spend the day together, but we live at opposite ends of New Zealand. The weather here is the opposite of yours, too, in the late 20s (Celsius, of course!). Self-doubt is awful, good on you for not allowing it room – or, like most of us, doing your best not to!
Deborah Miller says
Happy BIrthday! Here’s to being kind to ourselves! I also suffer from this tendency. I am ridiculously happy about Yarn Along coming back! Thanks for doing that!
Melissa says
Happy Birthday! In my nearly 65 years I’ve found that people without a little self doubt may be easier on themselves but they are difficult indeed for spouses, friends, relatives, co-workers, etc. I hope you enjoy your 40’s as much as I did.
shari says
-20 this morning. Only option is hibernation and keeping the wood stove going. Soup making for this afternoon.
Wendy says
Happiest of birthdays to you! Looking forward to the return of Yarn Along! We are hibernating here as well, though at 41 degrees, not 9!
Elizabeth says
I have been feeling like hibernating too!!! God bless you dear one!
sandra says
Happy Birthday – I too am in hibernation mode, and luckily as a Granny I can do it nowadays. I’m ridiculously excited about the return of Yarn Along – thank you Ginny. Happy New Year and Happy New Decade!
eva says
oh dear Ginny! All the best wishes for your big 40 and the New Year – I know that little whispering and I’m almost 54… Be kind to yourself, you can trust in God and in your life experience, in the love of your wonderful family and your incredible talents! You are a gift! Blessings for the new Year and the next year of life. Grinning from a nearly warm and stormy day here around. Eva
Kathleen says
Happy Birthday from someone else who turned 40 on Saturday! I love the comment above about how 40 is liberating. I have not dreaded this milestone at all and am looking forward to a new decade. Hope you have a wonderful start to the new year!
Brigitte says
Happy birthday and new year! The word “enough” kept coming to me over the last few months, so it will be my refrain for 2018. Many aspects, but one of them is, I am enough, as I am. And yes, similar struggles and I just turned 60 on December 20.
Oh, hasn’t the full moon over the snow been a nice silver lining in this bitter cold?
All the best from Brigitte in Pennsylvania.
Winwick Mum says
Being 40 is liberating – whenever I found myself thinking, “Oh, I’m not sure if I can do that,” I told myself, “I’m 40 now, I can do whatever I like!” We’re old enough to know better but still young enough to know that we don’t always want to 🙂 Happy birthday to you, enjoy every minute xx
Karla says
Ha! This is me. It’s, like, 1 degree or something and I have absolutely no desire to go outside. I feel the same way about how I’m doing – or not doing – things.
This past year I took up yoga as a more peaceful way to nurture myself, and I’ve been enjoying it. It’s a way to “be kind to myself” without feeling like I have to do an intensive, cardio workout.
That cranberry gingerbread cobbler sounds awesome. We love cranberries and love it on the tart side, so I’m totally making that with less sugar.
Happy New Year! Enjoy keeping up with your posts, even though I haven’t knit anything in years (it takes too long!).
Nathana says
Happy Birthday! I always appreciate your thoughtfulness and vulnerability. I struggle with that same self-doubt. I think part of it is just being human. But when I learned about the enneagram and where I fell on it as a 1 with a 9 wing, I started to understand why I struggled so much with the “not good enough” voices. It has been very impactful in our marriage dynamic as well. We loved the book and podcast, The Road Back to You. Many blessings on your birthday and new year.
Eileen says
Happy Birthday Ginny! Glad you were able to spend the day with your sister, sisters are so important! My best friend is my younger sister, we talk all the time and write long letters to each other…xoxo.
I know that little voice is still in my head and Im 60! I believe the goal at least for me, is to know when to listen to it and when to ignore it. Every thought that runs through my mind is NOT true and I need to remember this gem. I tell my husband that, ‘my mind is often a nieghborhood I should not spend much time in alone.’
Beatrix looks to be an expert knitter and very cozy in bed knitting too. Its below zero here, but what a treat, another day to bundle up and tuck in with knitting.
Maria says
Happy Birthday, Ginny! Hope you have a wonderful year! Can’t believe it’s so cold in Virginia; here in NY it has been bitterly cold for weeks but unfortunately that’s not unusual. This Saturday is my son’s tenth birthday (how did that happen?) and the forecast high for the day is -2 degrees. We already told him we won’t be going tubing on his birthday like we did last year!