I have been suffering from low motivation, and an inability to accomplish much of anything that feels really satisfying lately. I think that winter is to blame. Obviously I do a lot, but sometimes I really need to tackle a fun project to completion in order to feel like I am not just spinning my wheels. That’s why we craft, right? Because so much of of mama’s life involves doing work that will be quickly undone in a seemingly endless cycle. That work is good and important, but sometimes I need something more. When I make or re-make something, it usually stays that way for a little bit longer than the floors stay clean after a good mopping.
I decided to fix up this little crappy bookshelf that I must have picked up off a curb or something years ago. I’d add a curtain to hide the mess of homeschool books, and paint it a fun color. As I contemplated my options, I quickly descended into Crazytown.
“No, wait. I better just paint it white. That would be safest.”
“Life’s too short to play it safe and neutral all the time.”
“Aaaah–but too much color can be so distracting! White would be soothing. But…white would show dirty fingerprints! Yellow, golden sunny yellow. That would be just the thing to perk up my February. Quick, go buy the paint before you change your mind, Ginny.”
I did just that. I drove downtown, parked nearby, and walked in the freezing coldness to the cute shop run by fun painting ladies. Seth was with me, the knees of his pants freshly muddied from metal detecting. I did suggest that he change his pants before we left. “They’re all dirty, ” he replied. I’m getting used to being in public with a dirty teenager, and it doesn’t embarrass me anymore, though I do continue to make gentle suggestions. At any rate, the key to getting in and out of the store as quickly as possible, before I could change my mind about the color,was definitely having Seth along. He has no patience for shopping, unless we’re in an antique mall. I bought my yellow paint, and then popped downstairs to see what the ladies were painting down there. There happened to be a piece of furniture painted in the shade of purple that was my second choice. I carefully studied it, and decided that I had made the right choice with my yellow. I wasn’t even tempted to change my mind.
Later that night, I began to prepare my little shelf for painting and as I did so, I panicked.
“I should have bought the purple!! Yellow is so harsh. The lines on the road are the same shade of yellow! So are school buses! What was I thinking? That soft gray-purple would be so soothing. I’ll just wait. I’ll take this paint back tomorrow and maybe they’ll let me swap it.”
And on, and on and on.
It’s not easy being so nutty. And this is exactly why I haven’t been accomplishing anything. Well, my crazy, plus all my kids.
Sometimes you just have to cut it out and do something.
“It’s a little shelf, Ginny. This isn’t exactly a huge decision.”
I decided to put a stop to all the nonsense, and I painted the silly-little, not-worth-obsessing-over shelf, yellow.
It’s pretty! I love it! Yellow is so happy! I finished a project!
p.s. The paint is Annie Sloan’s Arles.
p.p.s. Here is another photo. The room is dark, so it’s hard to photograph things. The color is most accurate in the photo above. It’s an orange-y yellow.