Is this a story I want to tell? Ought to tell? Probably not. But it will go down in our family history so I might as well share it.
It all started about a week ago when we first saw the pair of skunks eating a cat food mess, lovingly provided on our side porch by one of our younger children. No, actually if I think back, it began last last summer, when we observed, for the first time in over a dozen years in this house, a Norway rat, eating kibbles from a similar cat food mess on the back porch.
“This has to stop,” I said. The littles are not allowed to feed the cats anymore, only the older kids. We can’t have cat food all over the place.
“Rats carry disease,” Jonny said. “We have to kill it.”
“It’s awfully cute, but yes, of course we do.” I replied.
But we didn’t see it again, and eventually we became occupied with other things, other creatures…
Lying in bed awake one night, I smelled the unmistakeable smell of skunk spray. Weird.
And then it happened again. Middle of the night, and I smell skunk. Weirder.
Last week, I went for a walk with Keats and Trudy. Upon returning to the house Trudy must have run toward the backyard. I didn’t even notice until a flurry of activity began in the (uninhabited) chicken coop. A small, fluffy, black creature was trying to jump up the chicken wire walls with Trudy excitedly barking at it. I shouted for her to stop, to come back. She initially ignored me and suddenly it hit me, the fact that the creature she was barking at was a skunk!
I mostly cleaned up my language well over a decade ago, but I have to admit that Keats witnessed his mother using a curse word for the first time, as I accidentally let an “Oh shit!” escape my panicked self.
“Mommy!” he scolded, just as Trudy decided to exit the chicken coop. By some miracle that little skunk didn’t spray her.
But either it or the skunk whom we assume must be it’s mother, nailed her Thursday night. The skunks were outside eating cat food. We have a no cat food at night rule now. Judging by the food scattered in a pile on the ground, we strongly suspected Silas as the violator of the rule. Silas is also the child who decided to let Trudy out the door to visit with the skunks. I was, at this point, upstairs putting Job to bed. Between the shouting that ensued and the smell that quickly reached my nostrils, threatening to singe my nose hairs, I knew what had happened.
Five baths or so later, including treatments with skunk stink miracle remover, Trudy still smells, though she no longer makes my nostrils burn.
During the following twenty four-hours, the skunk odor faded (either that or we just got used to it), but events only became more interesting. First the dryer stopped working. You don’t even want to know how much laundry is piling up around here. Within an hour or so of realizing the heating element in the dryer was fried, Keats came running from the downstairs bath crying out that the water in the bathtub wouldn’t turn off. The situation escalated to the point that Gabe had to bail water into the toilet while Jonny ripped open the wall to reach the valve to turn the water off there. That’s okay, we’ve still got the upstairs shower and there are only nine of us. No big deal.
That night, after the littles were in bed, and Jonny and I had mostly recovered our hope in the face of the broken things and the skunky dog, we had a little excitement. We were in the living room with our older boys, talking and working on projects, when I headed to the kitchen to grab a cup of tea. I had only made it a few steps into the room, when something awfully large ran right across my path and under the couch. I had a slightly delayed reaction, having no previous experience with RATS IN MY HOUSE before. “There’s a rat under the couch!” I screamed as I ran back into the other room and promptly jumped on top of the nearest piece of furniture.
Did I say that rats are cute? I think I need to recant.
Jonny didn’t think my idea to “GET THE GUN!” was a good one. He and the boys hurried into the kitchen to investigate.
I remained on my safe perch, and called my friend Eve. I’m sure she appreciated my late-night frantic play-by-play.
Couch cushions started flying into the living room.
There was no sign of the rat and Jonny wondered if it might have exited back down the broken heating vent that it entered through. (I guess it’s time for Jonny to repair the duct work under the house again.)
I ventured to the kitchen doorway just as Jonny was turning the couch on it’s back.
Keats put his ear up to the bottom and said, “It’s in there. I hear it.”
Someone suggested that we let Trudy take care of it. She was called into the kitchen and encouraged to peek through the rip in the bottom of the couch. She sniffed inside the hole, and without a second thought, returned to her spot in front of the woodstove. Seth suggested Intruder, and brought him inside. He almost looked interested as Keats provoked the rat to run around a bit just as Intruder poked his head into the hole to see what was inside. It took him about half a second to retreat to the chair next to woodstove. At this point, I left the room, and returned to my perch.
What ensued can only be described as a comedy of absolute chaos. I listened as the rat was coaxed out of the couch and into the midst of Jonny and the boys. There were shouts and I was able to make out a few words. At one point, Seth yelled, “I’ll grab a rolling pin!” I cringed as I heard the scurrying of the rat all over the room intermingled with the heavier sounds created by Jonny and the boys running around after it. I am not sure they had any clear plan. After what must have been no more than a minute or so, I heard Keats shout, “I’ve got it!” My eleven year old son, known also as Keatsy Baby, caught a rat with only his hands and a towel. “Don’t let it bite you!” Jonny shouted.
I may have sounded somewhat hysterical as I cried, “Get it out of here!” Everyone ran outside but they were at a loss of what to do. I think everyone was having a hard time believing that Keats was actually holding a rat. “Are you just going to let it go out there?” I shouted. I had Eve on the phone, saying, “It’s a rat! You have to kill it! KILL IT!” There was a lot of crazy running around, trying to figure out what to do with the rat that Keats WAS HOLDING, when all of a sudden everyone stopped. In all his effort not to drop the rat, Keats inadvertently killed it. He held it to death. And that was that.
So here I sit. One broken dryer, one broken bathtub faucet, one stinky dog, one dead rat outside in the trashcan, and two skunks hanging around. Too bad they spray, because they really are cute. Cuter even than Claudine with the Maggots.
My apologies for the lack of rat photos. Forgive me?
Tanya W says
Oh my goodness… I rarely comment on any blog posts, and I rarely laugh out loud when I am reading something alone… But WHAT a story!!! 🙂 Thanks for the good chuckle this afternoon Ginny! I do truly enjoy your blog. I daresay it is my favorite these days.
sue mcmillen says
I laughed so hard!!! Humor is the best coping mechanism! I hoped you were laughing and giggling as you wrote this story!
Dana says
oh… my … goodness!!!!
And you have Outside Kitties!!! (Pol’ kittys!) We used to have an ‘outside kitty’ who didn’t bother anyone – and then our neighbor shot it and left it in the yard for my kids to find. Really? REALLY?
*ehem!*
We used to have pet rats (so that’s no big deal to me). but a wild rat finding its way inside? Nuh Uh! No Way! Go Keats for capturing it!
(PS…I sent my PayPal payment to you for a set of washcloths! Thank you!)
~Dana in Michigan
Regina says
Three words: My friend. Community.
Erika says
BWAHAAAHAHAH! I wasn’t laughing until Keats “held the rat to death”!!!! I know that must have been awful, but thank you for sharing!
Hope you have a fixed dryer and fixed pipe very very soon!
Theresa@OrdinaryLovely says
You’re a great story teller! This was a good one 🙂
This past summer, I was heard all across the neighborhood yelling, “Get it out of here!!” over and over when my son carried a bat into the house with his bare hands (like a mammal bat, not a baseball bat.) What’s the matter with boys, anyway??
lila says
Ginny, the tears streaming down my face are huge ones! This made my day. Sadly, it’s mostly the things that are rather inconvenient and also totally cringe-inducing that are usually this funny. But ooh, the dryer! I have an awful, awful story about a mouse diving into a jar of bacon drippings on my stove while my husband was at work, but I’ll spare you. I’m still laughing, thank you for such a well-told story!
Stephanie says
Wow, that is a story. I only woke up to find that my dish washer was stuck on Rinse (so it had been going all night). Best of luck with everything. Make sure to tell everyone that you need 10 (?) minutes of uninterrupted knitting time for each thing that went wrong. 😉 (sjn821 on Rav)
Jenny says
Sounds about like the way things go around here only instead of older boys yelling it’s older girls screeching. And fresh skunk spray…it’s not like what you drive by is it. It permeates everything.
Andee says
Oh that was a story that HAD to be shared!!!! Thank you for the laughs!!!!!!
Mat. Anna says
BWAHAHAHAHA!!!
Wiping tears. (c:
Carlin says
Oh my, what a story. When we found a rat inside, I grabbed the phone to call 911! It turned out to be 3 small babies, or surely I would have lost it. Hope that is the last one!
karen says
I have never been so entertained by a post such as this one. Honestly Ginny, you have to write your memoirs! We had a mouse problem and unfortunately could not figure out how they were entering and had to pay big money for a company to show us. It worked, they are gone and we learned a LOT about mice.
steph says
(sorry) I laughed ’til I snorted….
we’ve got a tally sheet going in the laundry/pantry….7 mice so far this year. That doesn’t even make a good story. 🙁
TJ @ Any Given Moment says
I love the way you tell stories! This one could easily be turned into a short story – hey, you could publish it and then purchase a new dryer with the royalties 😉
Penny says
Wow.
I am full of admiration for your entire family, coping with all of that.
Wishing you peace on every level… 🙂
A Little Blue Dragonfly says
Oh.my.word. Ginny! I feel bad for laughing so hard while reading this post! You Sweet Dear! I would’ve been firmly perched on top of the nearest piece of furniture myself. And the curse word…I love your “realness” now even more than I did before! I have a feeling y’all will be recounting this story for many years to come. 😉 *hugs*
Caitlin says
We had an entire skunk family living under if shed a few years ago. It was pretty ridiculous. My husband got trapped in the garage by a baby skunk, not realizing that they don’t spray :). A baby skunk, or 7, are SUPER cute. It’s just the smell. And the fleas. Ew.
Melinda says
Love this. Eve must have loved that phone call!
anniekitching says
Great story!!!
Maria says
Oh boy! Good luck fixing and dealing with everything! Sounds a lot like our house – we have had a skunk lurking around the barn, that I keep almost tripping over when I go out to do chores at night. In addition, during the past 2 weeks, part of our basement wall collapsed, something major went wrong with my car, I accidentally gave my sick goat WAY too much medication when the dial on the tube of paste medication slipped (but not a toxic dose, he’s doing fine now), and I got a nasty bite to the hand (occupational hazard for veterinarians). Enough already!
camille says
This made my morning, although I appreciate that in the moment it was much less amusing. 🙂
Elisabeth says
Wow! What a good laugh! Sorry for all the extra work these events have provided though. When we moved out of our old house we found a mouse skeleton behind the sofa and a piece of paper that had been partially eaten. We think the cat sat guard and made it starve to death…
priest's wife @byzcathwife says
oh my goodness…..knock on wood…we only have had mice and BEES in the walls
Meryl says
I know that these stories are always better in the telling than in the living, but thanks so much for the good laugh today!
Emily says
I’m laughing so hard I’m crying. Thank you I needed that!
Elizabeth says
oh oh oh!!! what a night you had!!! I’ve never seen a rat but once I was living in grad school (library science) in a small studio and a rat was in the kitchen area under the sink eating … Ooooooo just the thought makes me *shudder*!!! we got the exterminator out ASAP and I never had a problem since but my bed was about 10 steps from that sink (a small studio) and if I ever even hear a rat it will be too soon!!
So sorry for all the broken things in your house right now; Lord have mercy I am going to go light a new candle for you by my icons.
(and I would of been screaming too and Good Job to your men/boys in handling it!!!) (you sure tell a good story Ginny!)
Jen says
You have a great way of retelling the stories that you’ll be laughing about for years to come. Thank you for making my Monday morning so much more enjoyable!
Leslie F says
What a GREAT story! Every family needs stories like this! Our family “rat story” occurred over 35 years ago and involved my mother jumping onto the hood of her brand new car (denting it in the process) and refusing to come down until my dad had found/disposed of the rat – many hours later, as dawn was approaching, Mama was still on top of the car when Daddy finally “took care of business.” This story gets told every year at Thanksgiving and Christmas and gets funnier (and more embellished) every time! Thank you so much for the much needed laugh!
Barbara says
Oh, Ginny. I think I might have had a heart attack and died in the middle of all that!
Our dog got skunked just a month or so ago. I knew we had at least one out there (we live in a ravine with a creek) and we also had some young raccoons the dog loved to tree every night. But one night after chasing something in the dark, we heard her yelp and then smelled it. Boy she got it. I quickly googled a remedy and found this on the humane society website:
1 quart of 3-percent hydrogen peroxide (available at your local pharmacy)
1/4 cup baking soda
1 teaspoon liquid dishwashing soap
Wearing rubber gloves, wash your dog with this solution immediately after he’s been sprayed. DO NOT get the solution in the dog’s eyes.
Caution: Do NOT save this mixture or make it ahead of time, as the mixture could explode if left in a bottle.
This solution worked great. We washed her with shampoo afterward and though she didn’t smell great, she didn’t smell like skunk. By some miracle I had two quarts of hydrogen peroxide in my house. We used tomato juice on her face.
We also had rodents in a sofa once years ago. It was our basement sofa — the one the kids played on and probably ate on and dropped crumbs into. We found out some mice had made their way past a pipe in the foundation and had made a lovely nest in the sofa. Sadly, I could not keep it and it went in the curb the day we found it. Yuck.
Just yesterday my husband was splitting a log and as it fell into two parts he discovered a lovely little mouse nest in a hollow in the log and a lovely little mouse living in it. As the lovely little mouse headed for the garage door, he lost his life to my husband’s boot.
Unfortunately unwanted critters are part of life in the country. I guess they are part of city life, too. I know God had a purpose for creating all creatures, but sometimes I really scratch my head at the purpose of some animals and insects.
Annie Cholewa says
Held to death – what a nice way to go when you think about it, sure beats being shot – and never to be forgotten. How do I know? We had a country rat incident here once, involving a pot of water over an outdoor fire that was intended for dye plants. That one is still remembered by my now all but adult children as ‘the time that Mummy boiled a rat’. They trot the story out at every opportunity under that heading, to their great amusement.
Betsy M says
Oh my goodness! That is a crazy! We had a rabid skunk bite our dog when I was young and ALMOST bite my Mom (the dog protected her). Ahh memories.
Nancy M says
Wow, what events you have to laugh about for years to come with your children and grandkids. Not something they will forget. 🙂
Leticia says
Very funny!! I’ll be back to see if you find a picture of the rat after all 🙂
Theresa says
For some reason I had “The Tale of Samuel Whiskers” in mind when you were describing the rat incident and when Seth mentioned the rolling pin I thought that at last SW gets comeuppance! And after realizing I was tying Beatrix Potter probably a little too much into your story, I laughed through the rest. I would have loved being the friend on the other side of the phone!
Rain says
I for one am glad you did NOT include rat photos. ; )
The skunks are quite cute. It reminds me of the night I thought our cat was getting into the garbage outside and I went to grab her, and realized it was not our cat but a skunk, needless to say I s l o w l y backed away.
Sarah says
Love this! He held it to death! That is just awesome. I have also told my husband, at 2 o’clock in the morning, to “get your gun” when the black bear was destroying my bee hives! He informed me that going after a bear in complete darkness, out of bear season, was probably not the most wise thing to day. Anyhoo. Hang in there! Tomato juice for skunk sprayed dogs is what I’ve heard.
heathermama says
wow! that is some craziness! lol
s says
Hysterically funny although I am sure it was not funny in the least at the moment…we had a skunk in our house for over 24 hours years ago…and he left without spraying at all! This story, like our skunk story, will be part of your family’s history…a tale they will recount years from now!!
Tracey says
I had a friend when we live in AZ that had a pet skunk, [the scent gland was removed], and it was a cute little thing.
Life is never dull is it? Hang in there, at least in cold weather the smells aren’t as bad. 😉
Holly says
Great shots of the skunks, I love those little guys!
Erin says
Rats in the house. Been there done that 😉
Jeannine says
After my dog has been sprayed twice in the past couple years I rely on the Missouri Dept. Of Conservation’s treatment plan. Hydrogen peroxide, dish soap like Dawn, and vinegar mixed together for a good rub down. It works surprisingly well..and where there is one rat there is usually a family. Yikes! Did I say that? Sorry. Ha.
Ginny says
I am holding out hope that he was a bachelor (yes, I made the kids check for the sex!) …but we’re setting traps under the house as well. Yuck!
Leila says
Aren’t you glad he didn’t listen to you? You’d be telling about gunshot holes in your house as well as all the rest! Well, my only consolation to you (and to me) is that country rats are not as gross as city rats. 🙂
Fräulein Rucksack says
Oh dear, my first thought was “Poor mama.” I mean, in a house of seven and broken things you have enough to do and shouldn’t even think of critters. But then again. What a fun story your family will never forget!
Bee says
LOVE THIS! I mean, it probably wasn’t funny when it was going on, but this was a hilarious read. If you’d ever decide to write a book, you could (and should) do it!
If I lived closer and actually had a dryer of my own I’d let you use it for sure :). Hope everything gets fixed soon!
Kate says
I can sympathize with you while laughing out loud! I only have 5 people in my house and in the course of one day we had our dishwasher and washing machine break down. After a 3 week wait, we finally got them replaced yesterday and I don’t think I have ever been so happy to do laundry. It does pile up quickly, especially when using cloth diapers. We had a mouse problem for a while and my two boys are still playing “mouse” on a regular basis – it was months ago! these stories really do stick around in a family. I hope that you never see another rat again! And I hope that you have a quick and easy resolution to your dryer & bath tub. Thanks for sharing such a great story!
Annie says
Loved the pic of the skunks, made me lol!
Olivia says
My husband and I are dealing with a mouse problem, so you have my sympathies! I audibly laughed at your telling Jonny to “GET THE GUN”. We had a mouse caught in a live trap in our garage and I very forcibly told my husband to spray it in the face with wasp spray! For whatever reason, he didn’t, and let the thing die on it’s own. 🙂
Becky says
Well done, rat catchers! So sorry for finding so much humor in this, but I really do love your stories. Good luck with the tub and dryer!
jm says
I haven’t laughed so hard since my brother recounted the story of a bat in his house! Thanks Ginny.