Lately I’ve been trying my best to grab my life by the horns, gently though and not too quickly. One of my big changes is that I don’t do more than the necessary housework on Sundays anymore (anymore = the past three Sundays). We don’t work on our to-do lists. You should see how messy my house gets if we are too busy having fun on Saturday to get it looking good for Sunday. It is super hard not to run around like a crazy lady trying to put everything away on Sunday afternoon.
But, I think I’m supposed to do hard things, and for me, sometimes that hard thing is to stop cleaning and make sure everyone else is taking a day off as well. I have to be careful not to start thinking that the day is mine though. Sunday afternoon after Mass I had a little plan for myself and I thought it was a good one. I sat down on the couch to get started. The sight of me sitting there, apparently not busy, prompted both of my girls to decide to take up knitting again at that very moment, with my help of course. I’m learning to allow my plans to be changed, especially when the right choice is obvious.
Right now I have these giant butterflies in my stomach because I wrote a guest post for my friend Ann, and she is running it today on her blog. I talk a bit about my past, about things that I don’t talk about here on my family blog. There’s a little there about my thoughts on taking Sunday off. Oh my goodness, my hands are shaking to type this. (Shy hello to any of Ann’s readers who have made their way over here!)
But back to my ramblings:
Last week it seemed like bad news was descending from all directions, so I escaped with a friend for a couple hours. We ate cupcakes and talked about life. She laughed at a sign that said, “You can’t buy happiness, but you can buy cupcakes and that’s kind of the same thing.” Ha! They were good cupcakes. I was in a daring mood and even ate the colored sprinkles. Usual Ginny avoids artificial colorings as if they are on the same level of bad for you as arsenic. At this rate, Jonny just might have me on top of a mountain next year watching fireworks with the bears.
Purple shawl is finished, blocked, and definitely not the accessory of choice for July evenings. It’s a gift for a friend. She’ll have to tuck it away for this fall.
p.s. I received a comment on a recent post concerning the photos of snakes that appear here every now and then during the summer months. This reader evidently loves snakes in the same way that I love cockroaches. In other words, photos of snakes popping up in my blog posts are traumatic for her. Anyone who has been reading here for long knows that most of my boys are kind of crazy about (non venomous) snakes. When Seth and Keats were little, Jonny asked me to start a snake journal for each of them, documenting every snake they came across in the wild. (I realize that up to this point, you guys probably thought he was normal. Now you know.) I didn’t actually keep up with the snake journals. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I just couldn’t make that a priority. (Hee, hee.) But, I have taken photos of nearly every single snake my country boys have ever caught. And they like those photos to show up here. I racked my brain for a solution to innocent readers coming across scary for them, beautiful to us snake photos, and I have it. (Because every single one of us interacting in this somewhat strange online world is a real live human with feelings.) From now on if there is going to be a snake photo in one of my posts, the post will begin with a series of centered asterisks. Like this:
*****
Five asterisks means the snake photo is number five. Three asterisks means the snake photo is number three, and so on. I hope this works for you, Lin, and any other non-snake loving people out there!
Sara says
Ginny,
I’ve been reading your blog for a few years now, but I don’t usually comment. That’s not to say I don’t usually feel compelled to comment — so often your posts truly resonate with me, and I find myself wanting to shout, “Me, too!” or “Oh my gosh, I’m the same way!” or “That is such a great idea!” I just don’t take the time to type it out, because I figure someone else has already said what I would say, only better. Anyway, no excuses this time. I really desperately needed to read your post on Ann’s blog (and I think I’ll re-read it, and re-re-read it). It came at just the right time for me. Thank you for always being so honest and inspiring. Thank you for talking about real things. Thank you for sharing with us. Thank you.
Heidi says
I loved your guest post Ginny. You are courageous and mindful of your life path. You are a wonderful mother and it shows in all your posts. Don’t know what I’d do without your beautiful, spiritual blog…..it brightens my days and gives me respite when I need it. Thank you.
Cindy Janke says
Read your guest post on Ann V’s blog and as a non techie grandmother I am blessed by reading and learning much from moms who are in the thick of things. May God continue to mold, shape, lead and guide you and thanks for sharing the journey.
Melissa says
How thoughtful and what a wonderful solution for the snakey issue. Good luck with your Sunday plans. I feel that most of us need to do something like this. I remember my minister speaking about this last year. I keep trying, but I haven’t succeed for more than a few weeks at a time. Your 3 weeks may just be the motivation I need.
Bee says
PS. Posted earlier this week but I just saw your Facebook post asking for book suggestions and I don’t like to comment on FB… I think he might like “A Separate Peace” by John Knowles – it’s a very good book, a modern classic, and a relatively fast read (not sure if he cares about that or not).
Anything by John Green is good, too.
And “The Unlikely Pilgrimage of Harold Fry”! 🙂
Zena says
Thank you for sharing this raw and courageous story. Although I am not religious anymore these words ‘Be still and know that I am God” have very strong significance to me too and bring me solace.
Zena says
I always find your posts so comforting. The shawl is absolutely stunning and a wonderful gift. I am forever doing housework and not stopping to engage as much with family and spend more time knitting and sewing. In attempt to do so I am getting rid of half our stuff. Right now I have piled all the toys in our small lounge room on to the dining room table to sort out and it’s past midnight! I don’t like snakes either because we live in the Australian bush and snakes are a real threat to us but I knew they must of been non-venomous snakes. Boys will be boys. My brother is a professional snake handler:)
Jolaine says
Thank you for blessing us with your guest post. I am now subscribed to your blog as well…both Ann and you grace my life.
kelda says
Awesome guest post. You know what? I’m totally stressing on the mess all the time too and I don’t have anything from my past like you do that might trigger it. That must be so hard. Because it is hard enough for me as well . And we only have 3 kids. So it helps me tremendously to know I’m not alone in this struggle; it really could make one crazy. Your strategies on coping are good.
Molly R says
Ginny, your guest post is beautiful. It is so easy to get caught up in making everything look just so, but your writing always reminds me to enjoy this crazy life with a houseful of children while I’ve got it. Also, though I have a snake phobia, and the photos make me cringe a bit, I love seeing your boys handle them. It seems so brave to me!
Jennifer says
I really needed to hear your words, Ginny. Lately I’ve felt like I’ve been racing non-stop. I commented to my husband this morning that I almost feel frantic. I’m going to have to learn to chant, “nothing bad will happen” if the dishes don’t get done…the clothes don’t get washed… that juice spill in the fridge has to wait one more day… Etc.
Thank you!
Ana says
Great guest post! It did encourage me!
Cyndy says
I am another ‘Ann reader,’ that most definitely has become a ‘Ginny reader’ as well! Your writing is beautiful, but your honesty and vulnerability even more so. Thank you for the much needed post!
Mary P. says
What a beautiful and brave guest post you wrote! I find so much inspiration in you and your family. I also know first hand of the devastating effects of a less than perfect upbringing. We strive our whole lives to somehow over come the past and try to make our present perfect.
alexa says
God bless you. Your journey is a precious one – it shows how God can turn great ugliness into beauty. Thank you for sharing.
Cassidy says
I really enjoyed your guest post. I’ve been a reader here for awhile now. This is one of a few blogs I love checking. Our family also has bees, I love knitting, sewing, we’re converts, we’re ‘nature people’, my children are frequently covered in dirt, and I find a sort of kinship in your words. I struggle with perfectionism. I have fought through depression. My inner voice still parrots my parents’ voices when I fail at getting something done. Words I have no desire repeating in your beautiful blog comments. Thank you for writing the guest post. It helps just knowing I’m not alone. I’m working on letting go…just being…playing with the children more…relaxing. I’ve been so bad at that lately that it had been 2 weeks since I had done more than run the scraps to the hogs and the compost pile outside. I need to be outside more.
Vanessa says
I am among the many would have been brought to you by your guest post on Ann’s blog. I’ve never left a comment on a blog before but felt compelled to do so this morning. Thank you for sharing your heart. I’m sure it wasn’t easy. While my life experience doesn’t match yours exactly, your words have touched me just the same. I struggle with feeling overwhelmed at times, trying to find that balance of work and play, trying to not feel guilty when I’m doing one and not the other. I try to remind myself that God loves me “as I am”. I don’t have to do anything to be “good enough” for Him. It’s not always easy to remember, thank you for reminding me this morning!
Wendy says
Ginny,
Thank you for your gift of honesty. I woke up wondering-ok stressing about just how I was going to get everything on the “list” done. “Nothin bad will happen if the list isn’t finished” is the new mantra! Thank you also for your wise words regarding the privilege of Sabbath. My family has been keeping it for over a year. What a difference it makes! My Mondays are full of energy now and my brain prioritizes better. Guess the Creator of all things knows a bit about us huh? I can’t wait to read more of your blogs. So thankful Ann introduced you to her readers!
Andrea says
Ginny,
Your guest post made me cry. It was what I needed to read–a confirmation, if you will. Thank you!
Lily Hookway says
Hi Ginny – your guest post was heart warming. I have always been of the feeling that unless the ToDo list has been accomplished AND the house is immaculate (which it never ever can be) that I cannot allow myself to be still or do anything nice at all. I have been striving and grasping and never being satisfied or content. If I escaped for a day out I would fret over all the things I hadn’t done because of going out. The house became like a ‘god’ who had to be obeyed (my husband’s analogy!). I moved home four months ago away from a large modern ‘smart’ house in the city to a 300 year old homestead in the hills. This farmhouse will never be immaculate – the heating is in the form of two wood stoves and a coal fire that burst forth smoke and dust all day. The weather here in the hills is mainly raining and damp and mud is permanently tracked into the house. But this little homestead doesn’t need perfection or order and its beauty is in the security and comfort I feel within its beautiful walls. I have totally let go of the ToDo lists and spend my days with my family roaming the moors, talking to our neighbours, helping with farming things and just being, It is such a liberation. I have read more in the past 4 months than for about 15 years. It has taken me a long time to come to this point but I am so grateful that I have and I will pray that you are able to let go of the lists and tasks as well and keep going in the way you have by keeping the balance. xxx
Christine says
Ginny,
Ann sent me to you. Your guest post was beautiful and honest. The photos of your kitchen table, kids and flowers enticed me over. Thank you for sharing how God continues to teach and heal us in this gift we call life!
aimee says
Love your guest post, and think the snake heads up is the sweetest thing ever – although personally I think they are kinds cool!
Iris says
Just thought I should let you know how much I enjoyed your guest entry over at your friend’s blog. It was such a moving and heart-felt post that it really touched me, at times even moved me to tears. Wonderful words of wisdom that I think most of us could do well to think of and follow some or other in our lives.
Mardi says
Gosh, I really enjoyed your post also Ginny. I think I will reread it. Not a east post to write, I’m sure. If anything, it adds a deeper dimension to your beautiful character that we know and love.
ummrania says
That guest post was one of the most touching things I have ever read what you wrote! It was beautiful and thought provoking.
Cathy says
I had three boys and I never achieved a show home or even one that looked tidy. No one got ill and all three turned into fine young men. Good enough was my aim . And above all stay in touch with the God of still waters and green pastures. God bless. X
Heidi says
Hi! Found you from Ann’s blog- and am totally subscribing to your blog! Love it! And now I totally have purple scarf envy! It’s stunning! Just thought I’d stop by and say hi! Hope you have a fantastic rest of the week! Much love from sunny, yet cold S. Africa 🙂
jenn says
Thank you for your beautiful guest post on Ann’s website. Gentle, courageous writing. Keeping the Sabbath is something I’ve been struggling with feeling called to do lately. Praying for grace and perservence in that area for your family too.
Tara says
Hi Ginny,
Thank you for your guest post and for the work you do here on your blog. Talking about the dark, scarring experience of life is so hard, so exposing. I’m grateful to you for having the courage to put it out there. It really resonated with me and I suspect with many, many others.
You really are a blessing!
Maggie says
My first time on your blog, I was so blessed by your guest post on Ann Voskamp’s site. I’m a first-time mommy who’s been struggling to make sense of this new life and your words were so healing. Thank you for your letting God use you. I love your writing style and the sweet pictures of your kiddoos. 🙂
Bree says
A beautiful post at Ann’s. Thank you for sharing your heart there and here as well. It truly blesses me. Thank you as well for the opportunity to win Teaching from Rest- it is amazing. Have a blessed weekend 🙂
Eileen says
Ginny, I read your blog all the time. I also read Ann’s blog. Your post today on there was something I desperately needed to read. I have been struggling hard with anxiety and depression like never before. I only have 5 kids ages 4-10. The clutter and chaos has been overwhelming lately. Homeschooling, housework, yard work, trying to enjoy summer, the priorities are so hard sometimes. “Nothing bad will happen” was what I needed to read! So grateful for that post today. Thank you for sharing your heart. There are those of us lurking in shadows that need to know we aren’t alone. Thank you!
denise says
you are my favorite blogger ever.
Martha says
Ginny I read your post on Ann’s blog and have happily been perusing yours! Thank you so much for the words your shared there, really feel a kinship with you and that struggle. I look forward to following your family’s journey here and getting to know you a bit more!
Heather says
Hi Ginny. I follow both you and Ann and saw your post on her site first. Thank you so much for sharing. It really spoke to me in an area I have been struggling with relentlessly for a few years. You’ve given me something to think about. Thanks again.
Luz Maria Perez says
Ginny, I read your guest post. Thank you for sharing. It was so beautiful. I have a niece who has undergone circumstance similar to your’s. I forwarded a copy to her. She is too hard on herself and let’s her perfectionism get in her way of enjoying her beautiful sons (my great-nephews).
Monique says
I just love the pictures of your kids just sitting and doing…it all looks so wholesome and peaceful and it brings peace to me…thank you!
Montserrat says
Thank you for your guest post over at Ann’s blog today. As another mother of many (I have 10 children) I know all to well the feelings of being overwhelmed and trying to find balance in everything a mother needs to do. Sundays are my days of rest and I look forward to them!
Stephanie says
Hi Ginny,
I really enjoyed your guest post at A Holy Experience! As a mom of 5 who loves order rather than chaos, I could relate to what you wrote. Especially rings true that God knows what we need to perfect us….and He gives us just that! Can’t wait to read more of your thoughts!
Drusilla Barron says
I found my way here through your post on Ann Voscamp’s blog. What a lovely and haunting piece. Thank you.
About ten years ago, I returned to the Church and decided to stop working on Sunday. Litigators tend to wait until late Sunday afternoon to prepare for court on Monday but I prepared on Saturday and stuck to my guns. It was hard. But I hung in there and planned ahead so that shopping and other “necessary work” would not be necessary on Sunday. Now, I can’t imagine doing anything other than rest on Sunday.
I look forward to learning how God leads you into the Sabbath and teaches you to rest.
Ashley S says
Hello Ginny! I was sent over here by Ann, like many others. 😉 I had long burst into tears before I was finished reading your guest spot-I feel like I could have written it, all the way down to the baggage. I have been really working hard to feel like it is alright to take time to go on a date with my husband, even though I feel that the house is a disaster and there’s just so much to be done. I work 70 hours a week and am in the middle of going to college for a degree full time, and by the end of the week I’m exhausted and just keep going anyway, because it won’t get done if I sit around and craft or have coffee with a friend. I attended the funeral of a friend last week, there were so many people there, and they all talked about how much value this woman put into her friends. It just really struck me-when it comes down to it, does it matter if the towels are folded wrong, or the fridge needed to be cleaned out “a while ago”? I have a long way to go before I could take a Sunday, to be truthful-but I’m starting by taking a friend for coffee (while chanting, undoubtedly). Thanks for your excellent posts, I’m bookmarking your blog also.
Dana says
I love snakes (as long as they don’t rattle at me or rear up and fan out their hoods….then…no thank you!) When I was a wee lass, the boys would love to tease us with snakes, except that, far from running away in terror, I turned toward them (the boys and the snakes) and wanted to hold the snakes for a cuddle! Strange child…I know *grin*
Becky says
As a new reader, I want to thank you, Ginny, for being obedient to the Lord, and an example to the rest of us “crazies” who battle the compulsion to keep all our ducks in a line. For me it is probably a reaction to feeling out of control personally, and choosing to cope by controlling my outside world as much as possible. My wise Momma was very much the same, but knew the value of resting on Sundays! The only thing that kept her from resting more was that she was an excellent cook and generous hostess. She ended up spending a lot of time in the kitchen “loving” on others by feeding them!
I, too, have found knitting to be therapeutic, and love how you’ve put your story together with the hobby! I look forward to reading your posts from now on!
Brigitte says
Great post over with Ann Voscamp. I return again and again to this desire to keep the sabbath. Thanks for renewing my interest and resolve. My husband was an ER doctor and worked about half the Sundays, and that was sort of my obstacle to really keeping sabbath the way I wanted to, but it was partly an excuse I guess. I would like to hear how you manage with the other family members’ reactions or resistance, but that might be too personal…..keep up the habit and let us know the fruits! Did I tell you my new grandson is named Silas?!
Marian vT says
Hi Ginny, I found my way to your blog after reading it on Ann Voskamp’s. I loved it! I am a grandmother of 12, including two sets of twins under 2 (4 children). Right now I am a part-time secretary at a Christian School so I have the summer off to spend more time with those precious grandbabies. I have also struggled long with perfectionism & depression because of my background. God does teach us a lot in the hard times even when we can’t see it at the time but his way is best cause he knows us inside and out and loves us so much.
PS – I also knit and do crosstitch to still my mind. I love your shawl!
Summer says
you are too sweet with the snake posts!! 🙂
I love hearing about how you balance you weekends. I need that same lesson to slow down on sundays. 🙂
Lin says
Ginny,
It’s so kind and thoughtful of you to accommodate the crazy, phobic lady (me) by giving a heads-up whenever snakes appear in a post!
With thanks and appreciation,
Lin
Jennifer C. says
I made my way here by way of Ann Voskamp, and enjoyed your guest post very much. As a fellow knitter, I understand the need to keep hands busy and mind still…one reason I knit. Your candor is appreciated and your struggles are shared. May you feel His blessings today.
Heather L. says
Ginny! I have been a reader of your blog for several years and an avid linker to your Yarn Along. Such a lovely surprise to find you on Ann’s blog today and I want to thank you for your post. You could pretty much substitute my name for yours in that post and it would be the same (only our family didn’t break apart until I was 31). Wow. Definitely helps me think about why I am so obsessive about a clean house (which I can never even get close to obtaining). I will think long and hard about what you said and maybe it will help me in the days to come. My kids will be thankful. 🙂 Just finished an amazing book on the Sabbath (Sabbath as Resistance: Saying No to the Culture of Now by Walter Brueggemann). I think the Sabbath has to be the answer to the crazy busy world we live in. Thanks again and it was just lovely to find you there and feel a kindred spirit.
Jennifer says
I really enjoyed your guest post, Ginny. I’m another who needs order in her life due to certain early difficulties. Order and routine brought me great comfort from a very early age. They still do and sometimes I let it consume me a little. I’m glad you’ve been able to work through some of this tendency in yourself and enjoy life more. It’s not an easy thing to do, as I am well aware.