Lately I’ve been trying my best to grab my life by the horns, gently though and not too quickly. One of my big changes is that I don’t do more than the necessary housework on Sundays anymore (anymore = the past three Sundays). We don’t work on our to-do lists. You should see how messy my house gets if we are too busy having fun on Saturday to get it looking good for Sunday. It is super hard not to run around like a crazy lady trying to put everything away on Sunday afternoon.
But, I think I’m supposed to do hard things, and for me, sometimes that hard thing is to stop cleaning and make sure everyone else is taking a day off as well. I have to be careful not to start thinking that the day is mine though. Sunday afternoon after Mass I had a little plan for myself and I thought it was a good one. I sat down on the couch to get started. The sight of me sitting there, apparently not busy, prompted both of my girls to decide to take up knitting again at that very moment, with my help of course. I’m learning to allow my plans to be changed, especially when the right choice is obvious.
Right now I have these giant butterflies in my stomach because I wrote a guest post for my friend Ann, and she is running it today on her blog. I talk a bit about my past, about things that I don’t talk about here on my family blog. There’s a little there about my thoughts on taking Sunday off. Oh my goodness, my hands are shaking to type this. (Shy hello to any of Ann’s readers who have made their way over here!)
But back to my ramblings:
Last week it seemed like bad news was descending from all directions, so I escaped with a friend for a couple hours. We ate cupcakes and talked about life. She laughed at a sign that said, “You can’t buy happiness, but you can buy cupcakes and that’s kind of the same thing.” Ha! They were good cupcakes. I was in a daring mood and even ate the colored sprinkles. Usual Ginny avoids artificial colorings as if they are on the same level of bad for you as arsenic. At this rate, Jonny just might have me on top of a mountain next year watching fireworks with the bears.
Purple shawl is finished, blocked, and definitely not the accessory of choice for July evenings. It’s a gift for a friend. She’ll have to tuck it away for this fall.
p.s. I received a comment on a recent post concerning the photos of snakes that appear here every now and then during the summer months. This reader evidently loves snakes in the same way that I love cockroaches. In other words, photos of snakes popping up in my blog posts are traumatic for her. Anyone who has been reading here for long knows that most of my boys are kind of crazy about (non venomous) snakes. When Seth and Keats were little, Jonny asked me to start a snake journal for each of them, documenting every snake they came across in the wild. (I realize that up to this point, you guys probably thought he was normal. Now you know.) I didn’t actually keep up with the snake journals. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I just couldn’t make that a priority. (Hee, hee.) But, I have taken photos of nearly every single snake my country boys have ever caught. And they like those photos to show up here. I racked my brain for a solution to innocent readers coming across scary for them, beautiful to us snake photos, and I have it. (Because every single one of us interacting in this somewhat strange online world is a real live human with feelings.) From now on if there is going to be a snake photo in one of my posts, the post will begin with a series of centered asterisks. Like this:
*****
Five asterisks means the snake photo is number five. Three asterisks means the snake photo is number three, and so on. I hope this works for you, Lin, and any other non-snake loving people out there!
Pam Steinke says
I just found you today through Ann Voscamp’s site, and I love your blog so much. The writing that you shared on Ann’s site touched me so deeply. I too, wrestle with feeling so inadequate because I can never get it all done! I’m 62 years old, my two children are grown and off living lives of their own with their spouses and my six grandchildren. I never succeeded in getting it all done while they were growing up, and I’m still not getting it done after almost 41 years of marriage. God is teaching me about finding my adequacy in Him instead of trying to be adequate myself, so I’m trying to let that sink in a little deeper every day. I am also a knitter and crocheter, so I’d like more info on your knitting group that Ann mentioned. By the way, isn’t she wonderful?? I have all of her books and am up to number 9600 on my list of gifts. I filled up the 1000 Gifts Devotional space, and just kept going. So glad I found you too. Thank you so much for sharing.
Tracy says
Hi Ginny…I read your post on Ann’s blog. Beautiful. My favorite verse is “Be still and know that I AM God”. You are so right about Sunday’s…I am going to try very hard to follow your lead…and rest with my family. I will light a candle tomorrow morning at daily mass for you…that is my way of (at least) starting my day in peace. God Bless.
erin says
For so long I was able to say “no work, no lessons” on Sunday but in the past year both things have crept back in. 🙁 I read somewhere that children now adays are growing up with all seven days of the week the same – there’s no longer a “special” day to attend services or to spend with family or to rest. How sad. I was just talking it over with my husband and saying we need to get our Sundays back!
The shawl is beautiful!
Thank you for writing such brave words over on Ann’s blog. I could relate to so much and really needed to hear that I’m not the only one with a ridiculous need for order in her life based on her past (do you also hate surprises? I’m working on that one right now. – not all surprises mean tragedy.)
Your system for snake photos is brilliant! (Although snakes really don’t bother me)
Maria says
Hi Ginny. I’ve been reading your blog for over a year now and have never commented before but today while reading your guest spot something clicked as to why I have always felt this affinity towards a woman that lives such a different life from mine. I love that your post are for the most part lighthearted, happy-go-lucky, full of kids, animals and country day to day living. I love that you are so genuine. You write from the heart and it shows. But today, reading about the dark spots in your past I now know where that affinity comes from. You should write a book about it all in that style of yours, mixing the good, the bad, the ugly and the comical. In my humble opinion, it would be a wonderful one and who knows if even therapeutic. I would buy it. I love stories with a happy ending.
Kari Frazier says
Your post on the other blog was beautiful. How wonderful that you are taking a day to rest, you so deserve it.
Lana says
Hello back. I did come over from Ann’s blog. I suffer from the same driven get the list done everyday even if I can hardly stagger and go to bed at night just overcome with guilt if I did not. My father was always SO pleased when I cleaned when I was growing up that I did it to please him but also because my Mom did not clean and our house was horrid. So now I clean to prove that I will not be like my Mom. It is so very hard to change. Hugs
Jamie S Harper says
I found you via Ann as well. Just stopping by to say I so appreciate your precious words and story shared. That was so courageous! Nice to meet you online. Blessings!
Leigh says
Ginny, This is such a beautiful, beautiful post. I so love your open and honest interview and I thank you for introducing me to Ann’s blog. Your words inspire and that photo of you helping your girls knit leaves my heart feeling very full. xo
Barbara says
Wow, Ginny. I just went and read your article at Ann’s. You have a very special (and most tidy!) place in heaven. I know that same anxiety, but just closing my eyes and pulling in a slow deep breath gets me through that moment. And God only gives us the grace for the moment we are in. That is how we must lean on Him, take His yoke.
I also see why you love knitting. It is why sometimes I just have to have an afternoon, or evening to knit — neat, tidy stitches all in a row, which stay all in a row no matter what else is going on. I have only two children left at home, and messiness doesn’t bother me quite like it used to. Which is a good thing because this weekend and next two of the boys (men) are moving back, one for a month and one for a year. It will be messy, but I know God will give me grace moment by moment.
God bless you, sweet soul.
Kim says
I found my way to you through Ann’s blog. So glad to have read your post over there. Please know that God whispered to me today through your writing. Thank you for releasing a bit of your testimony today to help Jesus heal a bit of me today.
Bless you
Mikaela says
So sweet of you to figure out a way to warn people about snake photos, and I’m quite glad you’re not taking them out! I happen to love your snake photos, and the fact that your family is not afraid of holding scaly wild things. Maybe you can put together retrospective snake journals, at least capturing the highlights… 🙂
Barbara says
I try not to do any non-essentials on Sunday as well, which pretty much just means cooking. I find myself, however, exhausted from running around on Saturday making sure we’re set for Sunday. Grocery day had to get moved from Saturday because that didn’t leave enough time. My kids now complain because Sunday is quiet and “boring” but, frankly, I have to relax from Saturday. I’m sure that is not the way it’s supposed to be, but it is.. A day of rest anyway.
Kristina says
Your post was beautiful and heartfelt. Its easy to read someone’s blog and think that everything in their life is as wonderful as in their pictures (and then you wonder what you are doing wrong!) Thank you for being brave enough to share some of the hardships as well as all of the beauty.
tara says
I’m sorry for posting twice, but I just finished reading your guest post. Oh, Ginny, I didn’t think it was possible to love you any more. You’re so brave and strong.
Also, I’m relieved to know I’m not the only one who rearranges things/furniture when feeling out of place.
tara says
You are so sweet to think of people who hate snakes. I’m so sorry for requesting so many snake photos, because they don’t bother me at all… but I would feel differently if they were tarantulas!
That shawl is SUCH a lovely color. Your friend will love it!
Susan says
reminds of of the Snake Lover’s Diary:) Have you read it? My daughter enjoyed it. It is out-of-print, but worth a look if your boys haven’t read it. 🙂
Wendy says
I agree with Ann that your blog is one of the best kept secrets on the Internet 🙂 echoing what others have said, it is one of my favorites–I always smile a little bit more when I see a post from Small Things in my reader.
Your guest post was strong and lovely and wonderfully brave–thank you for sharing; I needed to hear those words today and I am thankful that you are with us to share your words and pictures and mother all of those sweet children. Blessings!
Leanne@cottagetails says
Lovely photos and writing – you brave girl ((HUGS)) I always wondered why I connected with your blog, homeschooling was what I thought it was – but maybe one senses another who has grown up with an abusive father mine was verbal and he would go into rages. I got away when I was 16. As a naturopath in training there are some wonderful Bach flower remedies that you may find helpful for past and for now, feel free to email me if it resonates with you.
So pleased to see the kids had fun with the tattoos. Hope they washed off before church!
Love Leanne NZ
Becky says
You words could not have come at a better time for me. I just turned 3o and stay home with my three children (5, 3, and 1). My big girl is starting kindergarten this fall and there’s an interstate move looming for us just as soon as my husband finds the right job. We live away from family, I have no help ever with the children. I was so looking forward to this summer before school starting, imagining it being filled with joy. In truth I’ve been in a cloud since my baby was born over a year ago and have been so worried that time is just slipping through my hands. I have a short temper and where I once had great exuberance for planning fun with my children I now find I get lost in the everyday and my flustered mood ruins most days. I feel stuck and trapped. Today your words both here an on Ann’s blog were just what I needed. Today I’ll let the house get messy and just try to be still with my children and let them lead. Thank you.
Penny says
Ginny, your post at Ann’s is brave, and wise, and so beautifully written from your heart. I am so sorry you had that sorrow in your life. I’ve been pondering Sundays for rest too, thank you for showing me that’s a good thing.
I don’t mind snakes, but I think that’s really nice of you to make arrangements for people who do.
Mary says
Well, I hope the butterflies are resting because that post is absolutely stunningly beautiful. You should be proud. (And consider writing a book someday 😉
Rebecca says
It is so funny because I just wrote on this very topic last week and how I realized that an important part of the creation account was God being satisfied each day, knowing He was going to change things the next day. When I thought of it, I was greatly encouraged that God thought “It is Good” even though it was not perfect- or even complete.
(http://www.zeahrenaissance.blogspot.com/2014/07/it-is-good.html)
I enjoyed reading both of your posts and echo many of the sentiments already shared here. You are an inspiration. I particularly like that photo of you sitting with your girls knitting- I am very familiar with finally bringing out the ______________ (sewing machine, knitting needles, crochet hooks, etc.) just in time for my children to get the _____________ bug too. I am afraid I am often less cheerful about it than you. But you are right- it is an obvious choice. 🙂
Thanks for baring your soul so that we might see and grow and learn and become better individuals by it.
Sara R. says
Thank you for sharing such a personal journey. Wonderful words and wonderful insights. Your words came at a perfect time…thank you for being brave enough to share. Enjoy the peaceful Sundays ahead!
Trista says
This post and the one on Ann’s blog are wonderful healing and supportive messages to everyone struggling with perfection issues and don’t we all from time to time? I think many of us are challenged and feel that we are alone in our failings and yet the grace of understanding other people’s stories can lift us up to have courage and faith to go on with our lives and find some peace and happiness. Thank you Ginny and your purple shawl is stunning!
TN Lizzie says
(Shy waving from a reader of Ann’s)
Ginny, your presence is a gift to all who may receive it. You write words that make God’s Word sing. Thank you for loving Him and for loving your children so well.
Arlene Bonsma says
Loved your blog post on Anne’s blog, it was/is what I needed to hear/read today, this week.
sophie says
I am so glad you worte this post on ann’s blog because now I have discovered your blog and I fins it so inspiring! I really think your post was uplifting and encouraging. Thank you.
Melissa says
I have never commented before, but I have loved your blog for awhile now. It relaxes me. I read your post on the other blog and it must have taken a lot of courage, and I think, wisdom to write. I haven’t had your experience, but I know those who have, and I know you’re helping someone with that post today. Thank you for sharing your experience and for sharing your family with us. Love seeing your beautiful pictures.
Maria Elisabeth says
“Sem o peso das aflições é impossível atingir o auge da graça.
Quanto maiores as lutas, maiores as dádivas da Graça.”
Família -projeto exclusivo de Deus.
Esteja certa de que o Senhor reina neste lugar.
Abraço.
Ginny says
Thank you for these beautiful words! I plugged them into Google Translate so others could read them as well, though I am sure the translation isn’t perfect: “Without the burden of afflictions it is impossible to reach the pinnacle of grace.
The greater the struggle, the greater the gifts of Grace ”
Unique family-God’s plan.
Be certain that the Lord reigns in this place.
Hug.
Maria Elisabeth says
His family is a project of God.
Your Blog: a page that brings healing to the soul. <3
Hug.
Blumenau, Santa Catarina – Brazil.
Maria Elisabeth says
http://youtu.be/apRuipcHtrw
linda gaylord says
Thank you for sharing part of your story with us.and for the beautiful reminder to be still….
Wanda says
Both posts were so authentic and heartfelt. We share so many parts of our upbringing ….fathers going away, needing things to always be in order. Mine is floors. My husband says I clean the floors so often because I am trying to rid my life of all its trash. Wise man.:)
I would love to tell you that age will ease the times and the fears, but not necessarily. I do think though it allows us to open up more freely to others.
Thank you for being so brave. You have given me encouragement .
And just a side note…. My breath caught in my throat when scrolling through the post on Ann’s blog I saw the two knitting bags I made for you. I’m so happy they have found places in your life. You have found one in mine:)))
Sarah says
I love Gretchen’s allusion to the Mary/Martha struggle we women face. There is always always this pressure to do one more thing, and then another. It has been so hard for me the past few years to figure out Sabbath when my husband works at church on Sunday, which would be the simplest day to rest but then, making room in life for Sabbath isn’t really supposed to be simple, is it?
I was so excited to see you appear on Ann’s blog this morning. There are four blogs I read religiously-hers, yours, and two others I found through yarn along. Your words and pictures have shaped my early motherhood journey significantly and will surely continue to do so as long as you write. Thank you for just being honest and sharing the beauty around you.
Alice says
Beautiful! You, your family, your gift and how you use it! I’m so glad Ann shared you with us. I will be coming back often to read here. Thank you for taking time to be a blessing to so many! I pray God continues to bless you too!
Kate says
Ginny, I read your beautiful guest post. One thing I’ve found helpful when one is dealing with a chronic issue is to offer up the suffering of that issue to God. So instead of praying “Please, God just help me stop. Help me rest” (take it away) pray “I offer up my inability to rest to You” (just like you’d “offer up” a physical pain – for the poor souls or the conversion of sinners or the holiness of your children). The first prayer is one of desperation, but the second is one of acceptance. You know you have this issue, it’s not going to be healed overnight, but God can transform that issue into something better in His own unique way. Many saints have mentioned that we should not “waste our sufferings” and that they can do so much good for ourselves and others.
Ginny says
Very good advice, Kate. Thank you! Definitely something I need to work on. I wasn’t raised with the concept of offering it up, and need constant reminders!
Danielle Lindberg says
Just read your guest post and absolutely loved it. You are a beautiful writer!
ann says
I just read the guest blog-post, what a beautiful read that was.
To be so honest takes a lot of courage, you have come so far in life and your children are soooo lucky to have a Mom like you.
Your house looks so nice, cosy and welcoming, I would want to live there in a heartbeat.
Kacie R says
Ginny, your post over on Ann’s blog is beautiful, as are your everyday posts here. Thank you for sharing your life with us!
Bee says
Ginny,
Although I don’t comment often, I read your blog all the time and it’s one of my favorites. You always write so honestly, seemingly without reserve (or perhaps really without reserve). It’s beautiful, and I love it. Your blog is a peaceful place.
The guest post is a little different, and brave for that reason alone. I am so sorry for what you went through, but being able to write about it like that, and so WELL too…it’s awe-inspiring. Don’t be nervous about the post. It’s so frank and courageous. May God continue to help and support you :).
Corrabelle says
Over the last month or so, (is something in the air?!) I too have been noticing the importance in taking some time to rest, not just on sundays, but putting down work for a moment or two to enjoy what’s right in front of me. My muddy toddler who wants kisses, my sons telling me a funny story or joke…I’m trying to remember that we clean and organize to live, we don’t live to clean and organize. And you’re right, if things come undone, nothing bad is going to happen. I need to repeat that to myself.
I like your snake pictures, and so do my boys 🙂 We’re in the city and don’t get to see near as many. If we weren’t though, you can bet we’d be taking some pictures too.
CathyC says
Ginny, your post took my breath away. You are wonderful and you are beautiful, and I am so, so glad to “know” you.
Peace,
Cathy
Jennie says
Your post on Ann’s blog is so beautiful! I’ve been following you for a while now (but I’m not one to comment much) and I truly appreciate the words and experiences you share. 🙂
Gretchen R says
Ginny! How exciting to be on Ann’s blog. Alongside yours, hers is one of my favorites. It’s beautifully written. You did so well. Ann’s book changed my life, and I’ve read it a few times now. I feel so lucky and blessed to be your friend and Ann is sort of my friend inside my head, and for sure we’ll be friends for real in heaven. 🙂 We’ll swap farm wives stories.
I have a similar Sunday rule. We carve down chores quite a bit, and the house goes downhill in a hurry. But it’s good to have a day to rest and reflect. It does feel like a spiritual discipline, though, doesn’t it? It’s the Mary/Martha tension that lives in me. Your story resonates so much in me. My dad left when I was 4 as well. Some of the outbursts and temper in him and things said when I was a teen still live with me today, and I have to continue to bring them to God. Pulling the lies from my mind is like constant weeding in my garden. God is good, though, and he redeems all things.
Erika says
The shawl is beautiful!
And thank you thank you thank you for the snake warning. I’m sure they serve a purpose, but I am terrified of them!!
karen says
I love your bravery and honesty, I believe you will help so many others out there struggling and that is a gift. Your snake photo solution is clever and a good one. Love seeing the snakes 🙂
Kelli says
Ginny,
I’m just constantly amazed at your ponderings…such beautiful reminder we should all stop and take in the uniqueness and joy of each day.
I read your post over at Ann’s. My my…what stunning transparency and a post that brought me to tears. You had written the words that so often bounce around in my brain…and you brought a little peace to my chaos today.
I chat once with a seminary professor on the importance of the Sabbath…and though there are all sorts of points of view of it (literal and otherwise) he proposed that during creation the first six has a morning and a night, however scripture doesn’t specify the same for the seventh day…thus, if not taking a 24hour literal day into account, maybe the seventh day is symbolic of never ending rest and worship. Maybe it is all encompassing and should have a place in the everyday as well as a specific day. That point has always stayed with me…sometimes difficult to accomish, but always helpful in what I hope to achieve for my family.
Thank you for your post…I’m certain I’ll refer to it often.
Also, I am one of your readers who may just freeze with fear at snake pictures…I so appreciate the head’s up in the titles.
Blessings,
Kelli
Kris says
Ginny, both this post and your guest post are beautiful and raw. I have loved coming here for a good dose of your down to earth nature for many years. You’ve both inspired me in my parenting and homeschooling – providing ideas and philosophies – and helped me remember that nobody gets it all done. Thank you!
Naomi says
So much courage to share such a personal story, Ginny, thank you for your vulnerability and sharing the wisdom you’ve learned through your struggles. There are always so many things needing to be done with a family of many children, and it’s so hard to find that balance between rest, play, and work.
Tracey says
Your post at Ann’s spot brought tears to my eyes Ginny, tears for the young Ginny and tears for the woman you have now become because you are amazing. I’m not sure you realize just how many of us you touch each day with you blog posts, your words, the photos of your beautiful family. You are loved by so many and I am thankful the internet has brought you into my world.
Judy says
Ginny – thank you for your blogpost at Ann’s. You need not be worried – it is full of godly wisdom. May the Lord strengthen you and your sweet family as you fight to honour ‘Sabbath’ rest.
Elizabeth says
Sundays as a day of rest is huge and it is hard to do; I know it. God is in control and He loves us. I am so very glad you survived those years of deep difficulty; may God give you peace in place of the fear/need to have it all OK… Will pray for you and sending my love to you this day; lighting a candle for you now <3