Dear friends,
I keep wanting to sit down here at my computer and write about Sarah. I want to replay the past three years and write it down so I don’t forget. But every time I start to think about it, I fall apart. I want to sit and copy and paste three years worth of emails from her into a word document, print it, and bind it. But I can’t yet.
I think I hurt a friend’s feelings yesterday because of my manner on the phone with her. I’m keeping it together right now because I have to. There are those who are suffering far more than I am. This friend commented that I was in “Admin Ginny” mode. Yes, during the day I am. At night, I sob. I hear her voice, her words to me on the telephone, just hours before I got another phone call, from another friend, telling me that Sarah was on her way to the hospital, no pulse, not breathing.
Sarah’s funeral is on Friday. Her birthday is Saturday. Last night, together with Sarah’s husband Eric, their family, and a few close friends, we planned her funeral. I’ve attended my fair share of funerals, but I’ve never played a part in planning one.
I am reading your emails, your comments, all of it. I know how hard it is to reach out to someone, especially someone you only know via the internet, at a time like this. It’s impossible to know the right thing to say, and it is brave to reach out with your words, however imperfect and inadequate they might feel. I get it. I’m with you. And your words are helping to hold me up.
Last night while we sat around the table, Sarah’s parents choosing readings for her funeral Mass, me writing them down, her younger brother was working to set up a fundraising site for the future of Sarah and Eric’s children. Their children are my children’s friends. Their future is very important to me. So, I am going to ask you to give, even it all you can share is five bucks. Eric needs our help. Sarah’s babies need us. They need strangers to do the brave thing and give, and write that they care. They don’t fully understand what has happened. They are still babies. I watched them say goodbye to their mommy, with innocent smiles on their faces. I don’t know if they noticed that all the adults in the room were crying. I helped Sarah’s oldest son, seven years old, tape a card he had made for Sarah on the wall. It simply read, “Mommy and Liam.” He had drawn two stick figures, the taller one sheltering the smaller one with her arm.
One day they will look back at this time, and they will realize that people from all over the world banded together to pray for their mommy, for their daddy, and for them. They will know that God used all of us, together, to carry them through this.
Thank you so much for caring. Thank you so much for giving.
Love,
Ginny
(photo credit: a stranger. On our last girls’ night out together)
And finally, from that same night, a photo of my best girls taken by me:
creole wisdom says
Hi Ginny, my friend Sarah Ortega sent me your link along with the rest of our Bible Study yesterday. Her husband is one of your blog sponsors.
I’m just so very saddened to hear about beautiful Sarah and her wonderful family. It’s evident that she was one incredible woman of God who lived her mission to the full. I will continue to pray for her and her family as well as pass on the link to the benefit website.
Love from Minnesota,
Katie @ Creole Wisdom
Karen says
ginny i was in fredericksburg this afternoon and thinking mostly of you and yours. hope you are finding gentle ways to take care and weather this awful thing. sending love from NoVA.
Grace says
How extremely sad, I can only imagine what all her loved ones are going through. My condolences for your loss and theirs.
Lily Hookway says
Hi Ginny – I cannot find the words to say how sorry I am for your loss and Sarah’s family’s loss. It is such a terrible tragedy and such an awful shock that will take so long to even be able to grasp for you all. Our family are mourning the passing of my lovely father-in-law and are raw with grief at the moment also, but mourning an 82yr old who had a full and fulfilling life is so very different from the ending of a young mother’s who had so many little ones needing her. Please send love from Wales to everyone who are grieving and I will pray for some comfort for you all. Lily. xxx
Sheri says
So heartbreaking! I’m not sure if you are aware, but the story of her passing was on yahoo. Connected to her husband’s work with Obama. Thinking of her beautiful family!
Katie Sullivan My Sweet Homeschool says
Oh, how this is heartbreaking for all who knew her. Please know there are people everywhere, lifting you all up in prayer. Thank you for sharing the links for donations for the family. I will also share it on my site. May you all find comfort in your memories, each other, and in a Lord who is unfaltering to lift us up when we need it the most! Blessings and love to you, Katie
avelina soria gonzalez says
from Spain a prayer and a candle for you, my deepest condolences
Aimee says
Thoughts and prayers for you. And for Sarah’s beautiful strong family, who are hurting so much right now but will survive this. Slowly. Each day at a time.
Xxxxxxxx
florentine says
ginny, i’m so very very sorry for your loss.
what a wonderful person sarah must have been. and little cecilia too – she was here, in her way, even though she never got to open her eyes, but she was and is and will always be present and made such a difference to so many lives. it is said that unborn childrens’ souls “choose” their parents-to-be for a reason, and one of the reasons cecilia chose sarah and eric was undoubtedly the love by which they are so visibly surrounded.
i live in austria, and follow your blog regularly, and will probably never know any of you personally, but i feel with you and send you my warmest, best wishes and thoughts.
Ruth Tucker says
You and Sarah’s family continue to be in my daily prayers. I just can’t get all of you out of my mind. 🙁
Kristina says
I only know you through this blog and I don’t know Sarah at all, but I have been thinking of you and her lovely family often. I am so sorry for this tragic loss. I don’t pray, but I will be lifting you up in my thoughts and hoping that you have the support you need to get you through this terrible time.
Arielle says
Ginny, I am praying for you and Sarah’s family and loved ones as you celebrate her life and say goodbye today. I am praying regularly for the repose of the souls of Sarah and Cecelia and the comfort of her family and friends. I am glad to see that the funds to help her family are growing. I am happy to add to it, and also ask that if there is any other way, now or in the future, that we can help her family, that you let us know. I can’t imagine what strangers can do, especially since her husband and children are clearly blessed with family and friends that love them and will support them. But if the children need someone to pick out a book for them, or be a pen pal, or someday offer a place to stay while they visit colleges, ANYTHING, I know we would be happy to do it.
Nahuatl Vargas says
I have been traveling, and so I haven’t been around much, not that it could have made a great difference. BUt I want to tell you how sorry I’m and sad, for you and specially for those little kids, and Eric, who will have to continue incomplete and brave for his kids, for ever. I send you hugs and love, I wish I could send some nice books from Mexico for the kids, I don’t have much to give, but maybe this could help them somehow, I could send them to you, maybe?
Bobbie D. says
Ginny, My family would like to give monthly on a long term basis. Will the giving sites be up long term? We have been praying for all of ya’ll. We have a seven year old boy and just can’t imagine the pain.
Anke says
I am so sorry to hear of your friends passing. May God’s love give you and the family strength during this difficult time.
Corinne says
As I look over her photos and pray for her family, my only comfort I
find is in knowing that she was a believer in Jesus, she knew Him as her
Saviour and was washed in His blood. We are all going to go through the valley of
the shadow of death…every single one of us some sooner some later, but we know where
she is and that she is not dead but is living just as Christ promised to all who believe
and call upon His name and in this I have hope knowing where she is and that death is not final!
Corinne
Jeannie says
I am so sorry for the loss of your friend. I have been praying since you first posted the prayer request. Now I see that she and I share a birthday (though I am older by quite a bit). I will think of her tomorrow when I celebrate and refuse to bemoan getting older or having to do the mundane things when she would have longed for the chance.
Jenny says
I spent the last few days reading through Sarah’s blog. What a beautiful and inspiring voice! I know the pain of losing a close friend and my prayers are with you today and moving forward. I will be praying for Sarah’s family as well. I wish I could say this in a profound way, but I am not gifted with words. I did not know Sarah, but after reading almost every post from her blog, I believe that God gathered Sarah into his arms and said, “Well done, my good and faithful servant.” I am inspired by her, and her faith filled influence on others will be profound. Thinking of you, And all those who knew and loved Sarah…
Alexandra says
Dear Ginny,
My heart aches for you- I had hoped so terribly for a miracle. It’s true, I don’t know what to say. I’m the person that inappropriately giggles at funerals and will whisper a joke to my family. But I don’t see how you could joke at all in this situation. I wish I knew some words that would comfort you, some way of helping more her poor family. I don’t understand when someone like this dies. It seems too cruel.
I’ll be praying for all of you.
Alexandra
Lisa says
Dear Ginny,
I have always thought your sensitivities match my own, in that we love deeply and because of that, we feel pain, separation, loss, deeply. I have experienced nearly unbearable grief more than once. I have had to cry out and beg for Jesus to help me get through the next minute. I have begged that I would be able to get up and walk and move on…and that I would ever want to again. I once realized, with my face in the floor, feeling my breath coming back into me, that only God was moving the air in and out of my lungs. He was keeping me alive when I felt my grief was killing me. God, I believe, doesn’t want us to feel that pain, He wants us to know that to get through it we can only cry out to Him. He wants us to keep on. He wants us to try hard to remember that we will be able to be okay at some point, and then, with Him, we will be able to reflect on the fact that He was there with us. He did hear our cries. He knew how much we hurt, but we did not give up our hope. Father Groeschel’s book Arise from Darkness helped me significantly after we lost a baby boy due to miscarriage. There is a particular prayer in the back of the book, that I would read aloud, sobbing, tears jumping out of my eyes so much that I couldn’t see, that I believe brought some well-needed healing. I tell others that while it sounds empty and to me at times annoying, time (with God) is the true answer for healing. Cry your eyes out, and pray yourself through each and every minute! Time passes and yes, you will slowly heal. Tell God you know that, but you need Him so. God bless you and your friends, your family as they move on ever so slowly, and God bless the family of Sarah Harkins.
Rose says
Dear Ginny,
My heart aches for you after the loss of your dear friend and for Sarah’s family who will need God’s grace in the days ahead. Thank you for posting the link to help her family. Many thoughts and prayers for you all.
Leslie says
I just discovered your blog and don’t know you, but want you to know how sorry I am for your loss and for Sarah’s family. You are all in my prayers.
Charlene Cason says
Dear Ginny,
I just wrote to you about a week ago, after discovering your web site (well, when you wrote a guest blog for Ann Voskamp), and you were so nice to answer my email the very same day. I appreciated it, and your kindness made me want to read everything you’d ever posted on your blog. When I read your first post about Sarah’s accident on FB, I just gasped! Then, I started praying; as your reports kept coming, I started asking others to pray for her, too. Then, when you posted the worst news possible, I started praying for Sarah’s husband and children. And, today, I forwarded the story about her from the Fredericksburg newspaper to many friends, even in Ireland and Japan, especially those with large families, so they could be warned about the dangers of insect sting allergies.
I’m reading and praying and forwarding and emailing all this in the middle of my own trials, since I share a house with my mother, who has terminal cancer, and I am her primary caregiver. But, I am also a Pentecostal Christian, so I never gave up hope for Sarah; I won’t give up hope for God’s peace and blessings on her husband and family; and I don’t give up hope for my own mother. I pray for your peace as well; I know you’re leaning on the Lord to be your strength, at least until after tomorrow. Then, as one person wrote here, you can take the time to fall apart. Grieve and cry until your broken heart starts to mend, all the while continuing to let the Holy Spirit be your Comforter.
And, like another woman who wrote here, I don’t have the money to donate right now (I only have social security), but as soon as my check’s deposited, I’ll send my “two mites,” to the fund for the family as well.
One last thing: I was wondering if there are any of Sarah’s pieces of jewelry (bracelets or necklaces) or even just beads themselves that you might be selling in future. This could help to raise money for her family, and I’d be interested in trying to buy something. I’m sure lots of people would, so maybe you could start a list of those who want to, so we can be notified when you’re ready to do it (in the meantime, I’ll be saving up for a purchase). This tragedy has touched something in so many of us — around the world, as you said.
May the peace that passes all understanding be yours in the coming days and weeks. God bless you for taking the time to tell everyone about your dear friend, her life and tragic death, her children, and your friendship/sisterhood in Christ.
Charlene Cason
Virginia Beach, VA
Ruth says
I am so terribly sorry for your loss. I will be praying for Sarah, her family, and all who loved her.
Heidi says
I have never met you or Sarah but I know you both. I know you as caring, loving, compassionate, funny and joyful mothers. My heart aches for both of you and your families. I have shed tears and mourn with you. I have lost two co-workers this summer and it’s just sad and such a loss. It’s hard to understand Gods plan when things like this happen. I’m sure she was greeted in Heaven with open arms and she will be a guardian angel to those beautiful children of hers. Bless you for being there for all of them. Bless you Ginny. You are all in my prayers.
Alicia P. says
Ginny, I’m thinking of you and wishing you peace and strength. Thank you for linking to the donation site. My prayers and love go out to all of you. I’m so sad for your loss.
ChrisE'nna says
Sending His Love with tears and prayers.
Peg Graham says
So very sorry for your loss.
Sending out prayers for all.
hugs~
Shel says
Prayers for comfort during this most heartbreaking of times ascending for your family and Sarah’s family. xo
Marilyn says
Grace is flowing , Ginny. We, your readers, who have raised children to adulthood, are feeling the loss of thousands of days of mornings without Mommy, baths and bedtime without Mommy, laughs unlaughed, kisses unkissed. There must be a tear on God’s face. We have to look forward to a day when tears will be wiped away and sorrow will be no more. Right now, it makes us have “heavy boots.”
joy says
So sorry for this loss. Praying for all of you and her family.
Sandy Henderson says
How incredibly sad. My heart aches for you and those that loved her! Hugs!!!
Linda says
I know that I didn’t know her but that doesn’t matter one bit. She was a mom just like me. She loved her kids with all of her heart and soul. Her kids need her. This is just awful, I hate it. I cry everytime I think about it. I am so glad those kids have you to be there for them and to help them.
Betty says
My heart breaks for you. I pray, when the funeral has ended and you go back home,that you have the time and space to fall apart, even if it’s for a little while. That you allow yourself the luxury and necessity of grieving for your loss. You realize that a man has lost his wife and the mother of his children. You know that those poor children have lost their mother. But you have lost one of your best friends, too. Your loss is great, as well. Grieve that loss. Fall apart. Then you can come back together and be a little stronger for those who need you. I’m so sorry for your loss. I don’t have anything to give at this time, but when I do, I will certainly add my two mites to the temple treasury.
Sheliah says
Betty, Your message is so sincere and beautiful! Your words comforted me and I believe Ginny will be comforted as well as she reads them.
Margret says
Oh Ginny it is just too sad to think about and I am sorry you and Sarah’s family are going through this. Much love to you all.
Barry says
So many mixed emotions. I hope to write later when under better composure. But, for now, Ginny, please know that you and all involved have been and continue to be in my prayers seeking the Lord’s sustaining Grace and Mercy upon you.
Laura says
My dad just died recently and sometimes it felt like it was too much. We all grieve differently, just do what you need to do to get through it all . I’m so sorry.
I lost two close friends when my children were small and their children were small. God worked through it all but those were sad times.
I know. I’m praying.
Renata says
Ginny, I am so sorry. I will keep Sarah’s family and you and your family as well in my prayers. May God hold you very close at this time.
Hannah says
I don’t know the right things to say, but I do know that I can hold you, your dear Sarah and all who are hurting beyond words, in my thoughts all the way from New Zealand. Take the time to grieve, to remember, to celebrate; allow yourself to be “admin Ginny”; those who matter will understand, will be beside you and will be here still xx
Peg Conroy says
I am weeping with you and Sarah’s family…the “dark valley” is so hard to understand and walk through but our Good Shepherd IS with each of you as is Sarah. I am so sorry for this tremendous loss.
Peg
Richard Herndon says
Ginny,
I am so sorry for the loss of you dear friend Sarah. I can only suppose the Good Lord had more pressing things in store for her in Heaven. Please give Eric and all the family my regards.
Richard D. Herndon
Charlotte, North Carolina, USA
Lauri Morrill says
No words are big enough nor tears enough nor grief big enough at this moment, but I KNOW THAT HE IS BIG ENOUGH TO CARRY YOU, Ginny, and that sweet Daddy and each sweet child…for THEY ARE HIS KIDS. And we are family! I will see what I can do to comfort you and them financially too. Your spirit hurts and I hurt with you and for you and I praise God for your sweet spirit…May the God of ALL COMFORT wrap you in HIS ARMS and carry you through these days, especially tomorrow…and then next week when normal will never be normal again. Thank you, Jesus, for coping mechanisms! Thank you that we can hold each other up, for you are all about each of us! Take care of Your Sweet Jinny, LORD; she needs Your special attention right now! Love, Lauri
Lauri Morrill says
“Your Sweet Ginny, Lord”….thank you for humble mistakes to remind us of YOUR PERFECTION!
Lacy says
I’m sorry I did not know Sarah. She sounds like a beautiful person, mother, wife & friend.
I do share in your sorrow for her life having ended here on earth much to soon.
Prayers for her family & her friends. <3
monica deconinck says
I met Sarah when she worked at St. Maria Goretti in California with Justyna. What a blesséd year we had with all of the spécial people there. I purchased several of the beautiful rosaries she made in clay. I had Never seen anything so unique. One Day I came to help her in class and I remember my thoughts on the way home …that if I had found This school and thèse teachers when my girls were Young, I would have sent them to school and not homeschooled! May her soul and Cecilia rest in peace and May the good Lord shower his love on those who Will mourn her departure.
Corinne says
continuing right here with you all in much prayer for her family and
for you too Ginny and your hubby and your children who I am sure were friends with her
children and knew her too and have been a part of all this and seeing and hearing how mommy
and daddy are dealing with it all….praying for you dear sister and your family!
in Christ alone,
Corinne
Judy Corasaniti says
Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts and feelings. They are very healing for me. I lost a dear “best girl” six weeks ago. Diana was 48 years old and has a 7 year old son. She battled bravely breast cancer, she is now dancing with Jesus. I have no doubt about that. I cherish the friendship, the emails, the pictures, the voicemails. In reading your blog it helped me understand my own grieving. I had lived with her these past 2 years helping her and her 7 year old Nathanael. I am deeply touched by what has been shared about Sarah. It again reinforces how such young women can leave the imprints of the Lord on our hearts. I am also a graduate of Franciscan University. I to am a mom of two amazing adult children. How my heart is grieved but know for Diana and Sarah they were greeted with “Well done good and faithful servants” well done.