This morning, Gabe and I were going through one of our beehives when Seth shouted from the top of the hill that Em Em was dead. We’d been looking for her all morning. As much as we’ve tried to keep her indoors, she wanted to be outside sometimes, and with all the comings and goings of everyone, she’s been slipping out regularly. This morning we were worried when we couldn’t find her, but assumed she was in her new favorite hang out under the house. In fact, she’d been struck by a car.
I stood there in my gloves and jacket surrounded by an angry group of bees (queenless colony) almost frozen in place. My mind did that thing, that it’s not possible thing. But then I heard the wails start as the girls heard the news and I started quickly putting supers back in place. I hurried up the hill fumbling with the zipper on my jacket, finally getting it over my head. Silas was at the top crying. When I picked him up, he mentioned that he had fallen down. He wasn’t actually crying over Em. At this point I began to sob myself. I set Silas down only to pick up Beatrix. I held her in my lap on the porch and cried. I wanted to be strong and brave, but I couldn’t. Jonny was already digging a hole, I guess just wanting to quickly get Em taken care of. Through tears, Larkspur was gathering flowers to place on the grave. Everything happened so quickly. It was only last summer that Keats spotted her as a tiny kitten in the Costco parking lot. He’s always considered her to be his cat. He was the one to carefully hold her in his lap in the van after I pulled her from the bushes. His bed was often her first choice at the end of the day. It’s almost harder to watch an older child fight tears than it is to watch a younger child cry openly.
We took the kids for ice cream, and then I had a night out with friends which helped. I’ll confess that I had both a hot fudge sundae and a salted caramel milkshake in one day.
Anyway, this is the last thing that I wanted to be writing about tonight, but I figure it’s best to get it over with. Em is in so many of my pictures. She was such a curious, intelligent little cat, always right in the middle of things. It’s difficult to lose a pet, at least it always has been for me. Even more so is to watch your children grieve the loss. Em will be missed. She can’t be replaced.
(Hardest time picking photos to go with the post…old one of Em curled up next to me while I knitted. Recent one of weeds and not even pretty ones–totally unrelated-oh well.)
Anne Weber-Falk says
My heart goes out to all of you. We lost our dear Ernie after 20 years. His back legs gave out and his front legs were twisting with arthritis too. The vet came to our home to help him complete his life’s journey. It was so hard for all of us, but it was good that he was home and we were all with him in the end. Our home was feeling so heavy for the last two weeks since Ernie’s death that we all went to a shelter to play with the kitties. On Monday we adopted two of them. I hope you will find another kitty to help bring back some of the joy that Em Em gave you. Peace…
Liz says
Hugs to you. We lost our Jack Jack (Em’s twin) a few months ago. He had gotten into a fight and we couldn’t find him–only to find him later. We have been pretty sad about it. We were watching old videos of our kids yesterday and Jack walked through the screen a few times and our nine year old lost it. Pets are such an important part of the family. I’ll be thinking of you today.
denise says
I’m so sorry. xo
Jen says
I’m so sorry to hear about your kitty, Ginny! It’s always hard losing a furry member of the family.
lynn says
So sorry for your loss 🙁 (((hugs for you all ))).xx
lynn says
So sorry for your loss 🙁 ((hugs for you all)). xx
Susan says
So sorry to hear this news. Praying for your hearts
Bobbie D. says
So very sorry for your loss. Having grown up with cats and having at least one in my home for 52 years, it never gets any easier to lose them. And watching your kids grieve is so hard. I read your blog daily, and I have so enjoyed watching Em Em grow up in your pics, she was truly a very unique and special kitty. God bless you and your family as ya’ll grieve your loss. There is sadness, anger, and all the what ifs, and the woulda, coulda, shoulda. Praying to our Comforter for your family.
jm says
Send you all wishes of peace and comfort!
Maria says
So sorry, Ginny and family! So hard to lose a beloved pet.
valerie says
Oh how very sad. I was broken hearted when one of my cats died a few years ago, and watching the children struggle with losing a pet was even worse. Its good you got to spend some time with her sweet little soul before she moved on. Hugs
Valerie
xxx
Bethany says
I’m sorry, Ginny – this is so terribly sad.
Melinda C says
When I first opened your post I thought, once again, ‘what a beautiful creature!’ And she still is. In your hearts and in God’s plan. I will imagine her resting and lending her life to small white and purple flowers growing abundantly over her. It is so hard to love a loved pet. Hugs to you and all your family.
Meryl says
I’m so sorry. I remember crying over many a beloved pet in my mom’s lap as a child. So hard to learn those first lessons of loss.
Suzy says
I am so sorry for the loss of your beloved Em. They become such a part of the family. Your whole family will be in my prayers.
Christy says
Oh no! This is terrible news! I loved seeing pictures of Em Em in your blog. I am a cat lover myself. What an awful loss for you and the children. I’m so sorry. 🙁
sylvie says
So soryr to hear about your kitty. Two of my cats also like to spend the night outside and I must admit that I always have a little lump in my heart in the morning if they are not right there at the door when I get up.
Em-Em looks like a precious well loved kitty.
Kelly J. R. says
I’m so sorry to hear about your Em. We just had to bury our Ernie cat on Saturday morning so my heart goes out to you and your family.
Beth Burchett says
Dear Ginny, I hope Keats can find comfort in the warm memory of rescuing a baby Em-Em who needed a family to love her. I pray he can take solace in the knowledge that he and his family loved her well. I pray you can all know with certainty that during the all-too-brief time God gave her to be yours, you gave her a wonderful life she would never have known without you and your kind hearts. Thank you so much, Ginny, for sharing your family’s joys and sorrows. You are a treasure to me.
San says
So sorry to read this, it is heartbreaking when a pet dies and even more so in an accident. Benedict still talks about our cat Holly who died just before Pip’s baptism when she was four months old, that girl is the same age as your Bea now. As for the caramel latte and other treat I would have done just the same!
Sending a hug
San xx
Lorie says
I’m so sorry for your loss.
Kara says
I am so sorry for your family’s loss. Our sweet girl (an also pulled-from-the-bushes kitty) died last summer. She was hit by a car too. We were able to have her home for almost a month, but she had a stroke. My son found her curled up at the end of his bed, and I’ve never felt my heart hurt like that, watching him grieve his girl, who he had chosen and loved. It’s just so hard.
Ellie says
Oh! I am so sorry! How sad. Prayers and hugs for you all. Losing these dear animal family members is so hard.
Monique says
Oh I am so sorry to hear of your loss. Losing pets is so hard.
Stephanie says
I’m so sorry to hear about your loss.
Rachel Marie says
so sorry for you loss!
Stephinie says
oh no….. sending you all a heap of love. animals bring so much joy and sorrow to our lives….
xo~
Tracey says
Hugs Ginny!
Teresa says
I am so sorry! We have way more cats than anyone should probably, but I would cry if anyone of them died, as if it was our only. She was such a beautiful kitten.
Susan says
So very sorry for your loss. We lost our 2 year old cat last month.
Kirstin says
I am so sorry about the loss of Em-Em. Losing a beloved pet is so hard. Your family is in my thoughts and prayers.
Blessings,
Kirstin
molly says
Oh, Ginny. I am so, so sorry for your loss. You and your little ones are in my thoughts.
xoxo,
Molly
Liz says
I’m so sorry. We lost our kitty of 16 years last month. It’s hard to say goodbye sometimes. Sorry for your loss.
Angela says
I am so sorry for your loss! {{{{Hugs}}}}}
Rachel Wolf says
Oh, dear one, we went through the same with our Dusky this winter, a stray who chose us and with whom we fell deeply in love. So hard to let them go. Sorry for your loss. Grieve.
MamaAshGrove says
Oh dear, I am so sorry to hear this!
We have a cat, Harry who also doesn’t go out, but slips out whenever he can. We love him so, and would be terribly sad to lose him. I can understand your sadness!
Huge hugs to you and your family, and peaceful hearts.
Ruth Tucker says
I’m so sorry, Ginny. She was a beautiful cat and so much loved. 🙁
Lori W says
Poor Em-Em! I saw her picture pop up with the title and I was expecting a post about your kitty – but never expected this kind of post! I am so sorry! I will miss seeing her among your future pictures.
Barbara says
It is so hard to watch your children grieve, even for the loss of gerbils (which we have done many times). I pray they will grow from it. Praying your children do, too.
Tina says
Rest peacefully, little Em-Em. Such sad news to hear.
Losing a pet is so heartbreaking! My thoughts are with your family Ginny.
CathieJ says
So very sorry for the loss of Em. Best wishes to you and your family.
Sarah says
Oh dear. Sorry for the sadness today; she looked like a snuggly creature. Praying for sunshine today in your lives!
Lily Hookway says
Hi Ginny – I am so sorry your little cat has died. It is so difficult losing an animal but even worse when our children are grieving so much. She was so young as well so it must have been a terrible shock. Sending love to you. Lily. xxx
Elizabeth says
Oh Ginny. I am so so sorry. We’ve lost cats before too, it’s really hard and we’ve lost them the same way; don’t feel that it is your fault or anything; so much going on with a family. I am going to light a candle for you all right now and will be praying for you all. Sending a (((hug))) and prayers for everyone. May God comfort and uphold you.
Chris says
Losing a beloved pet is one of the hardest things. Love to you all xxx
Kathy says
I’m so sorry for your loss. 🙁 Our cats have been getting out and are starting to roam further and further. We’re starting to see them out in the road and I just know that one of them will be killed. It breaks my heart but I don’t know what we can do. My thoughts are with you and your kids. Especially the big ones that are trying to be stronger than they need to be. 🙂
lily boot says
So sad to hear this news Ginny. I too have always found losing loved pets to be terribly hard – when our dear little dogs died a few years back, I felt grief like I’d never felt before. My thoughts are with you and your sweet family – especially Keats. Having lovely photos and funny, wonderful stories about their antics is really helpful – I’m sure you’ll have plenty to share and hope they bring you a little comfort.
Anja says
Dear Ginny,
I`m so sorry.
I am sitting here and like almost every morning since last year I take a look at gsheller.com to see what is going on and I have to read about Em Ems dead – and I can`t stop crying – you and your family are a little sunshine for me every time I visit your site and so I´m feeling with you all.
It´s so sad and I wish you all the best.Em Em had a really good life with you all by her side.
Best wishes,
Anja
Stephanie says
Dear Ginny,
Like many, many others I feel your loss. Our cat died two years ago at a ridiculously young age and after a week of suffering. Words cannot describe the grief the entire family endured watching that sweet cat slip through our fingers.
I wish you and your lovely family well.
Jennifer says
I’m so sorry, Ginny.