We have been searching for a new house, a bigger house for our big family, for years now. Three bedrooms, one of them little more than a glorified closet isn’t really cutting it, especially now that our children are getting older. About a year ago, we fell in love with a house that we thought might be the one. It was pulled from the market shortly thereafter though, leaving us a little bit devastated. For months we continued to believe that somehow the situation would change and we would end up in that house. It’s been nearly a year, and while we still talk about that house fondly, I no longer wish we had been able to buy it. I realize now that the bottom line is that it was too big and too expensive as have been most of the houses we have looked at. I kept telling Jonny that what we were doing reminded me so much of my childhood. During my mom’s second marriage, nearly ever Sunday after church, we went looking at houses. My stepdad was often unemployed, and my mom typically worked more than one job to keep us afloat. We couldn’t afford those houses and we knew it. But we pretended anyway. I would choose my bedroom and imagine what life would be like in this house or that one, but at the end of the day we went back home to our little apartment. Memory has a way of distorting the past, but I feel like we went through that routine on many a Sunday afternoon.
Over these past twelve months as we’ve discussed the fact that the only house we really like enough to pick up and move to isn’t available, we’ve also come to the conclusion that we really don’t want to leave our current community. While our house is kind of bursting at the seams with all nine of us, we love this place so much. Talk began in earnest a few months ago about starting an addition. We’ve toyed with the idea for years. Reality is though, we can’t afford to begin one just yet, and maybe not for another year or more.
So we’ve been brainstorming like crazy. How can we make our current situation keep working for us? Actually it really isn’t working for us anymore at all, so we have to figure out how to make it start working. Playing the “how to squeeze nine people into the house we bought when we thought our family wouldn’t ever be larger than four” game is kind of fun. It’s much better than feeling like I am losing my mind because I “need” a bigger house. I much prefer trying to figure out how to make do with what I have. I hate that feeling of wanting more or convincing myself that I deserve more. It breeds discontent.
We have a plan now and I think it’s as good as it’s going to get. I ran it by one of my best friends on Friday and she agreed that it’s a good one. With her endorsement, Jonny got started this weekend. I am losing the little nook where I keep my desk and computer, but we will gain a closet, bringing us to a grand total of three of them. It’s a beginning. We won’t be adding any bedrooms just yet, but Jonny has plans to build a triple bunk in one bedroom. He just has to remove a window first. I promise to take pictures.
(And don’t worry! We are saving that old door. It has never had a function other than letting drafts in. We’ll find a use for it one day when we add on.)
Sara says
Ginny, I’m reading A pattern language, and I do think you would like it. They mention clustered sleeping spaces, and alcoves (or inclosed bunk beds for privacy). They also mention working spaces. It’s a gem of a book.
amy says
Ginny, our situation is very similar to yours – 8 (sometimes 9) people squeezed into a small house (under 1500sq ft)- although our layout is ideal for the small space, making it a bit more livable than most houses this small. I look forward to seeing how you guys make the space more workable for your family – we are always looking for ways to make our home seem larger than it really is 🙂
heathermama says
my family has spent many a year crammed into a small house and i LOVE IT! i love making it all work. i love how we can just move things around and BAM it is all different. i much prefer a small house and a large yard to a big house and no yard.
we are currently renting a house that is probably the biggest place we have ever lived in… i can’t wait to move into a cozier house. LOL
Cari says
All I can say is that I am beyond pleased that you are not leaving our little community!!! I know we don’t ever get to see each other, but I consider you a friend & would miss you terrible!!!
I think your idea is wonderful too!!! One can never have enough closet space!!!
Jennyr says
Our neighbors were in a similar situation as you and Jonny. Eight children, small home, and homeschoolers. They had two small bedrooms and a (tiny)bonus room that they used for school. The father was very talented and able to remodel himself. They converted the attic into two small spaces with beds under the eaves, windows for emergency exits, and a small spiral staircase to access them. It was a privilege for the older children to grow into. The younger children occupied the other bedroom with two sets of bunk beds. Over time, he remodeled the kitchen, restored the bathroom complete with a fantastic toothbrush holder for ten! One summer he converted a hallway into a bookshelf by removing the drywall and installing beautiful wooden shelves between the studs for a whole library! I was always thrilled to visit my neighbors very active, full and peaceful home. For that is what it was…a home. Nothing fancy, just overflowing with love. I can’t imagine a greater gift to give your children than what you are doing now….Fostering contentment and love.
Helen says
I think you came up with a great solution for a closet. Have you read any of the series “Not so Big House” by Sarah Susanka? She has great ideas for make habitable homes, not big empty ones. Not always cheap ideas but ideas that feel like home from the start. I found that most of the houses I was attracted to and the reasons I love my house is that they have or reflect ideas found in her books. Your local library should have at least one in the series and you may find other things you could do or plan for the future. If nothing else she really puts into words why people can add on to homes and not feel like they got extra room and yet you can have homes with a small foot print that feel like there is space for everyone without tripping over each other. Read one for ideas if you get a chance. 🙂
Taryn Kae Wilson @ Wooly Moss Roots says
Ginny,
I love what you said about making do with what you have. I need that reminder. So often I get frustrated with things in our life and just want to pack up, move, and have a “fresh start.” When I was growing up, we moved a lot.
I get really frustrated with this old house, I feel like it’s falling apart and is beyond what we can repair. But I love this place. And we really feel connected to the community here. Some days I need to remind myself of that more than others. 🙂
I hope many more creative solutions and aha moments will come to you all! 🙂
Love,
Taryn
Lisa G. says
It’s wonderful that you have a fresh idea, whatever it is. It’s a big thing to be able to look at the same-old with new eyes!
Teresa says
I wish we had stayed in our smaller house and just gotten rid of stuff. We could have added on slowly. Now we are in over our heads in debt. It seemed at the time we could manage the cost but we have had too many emergencies.
Mary says
thanks for sharing; excited for you! hope the new closet and bunks will be great help!
Dawn from PA says
Wow, your story is so familiar. My husband and I had a home built for “just for the two of us” after our two oldest sons were grown and on their own. My mother then had a stroke and even though she overcame it well, we converted our full downstairs into a lovely 1,400 sq ft apt., just for her (I am blessed with a giving husband), because I wanted her closer. Three years after that, we were surprised and blessed with twin boys. The house became increasingly small. We have the other 1,400 sq ft and it is tight. We found “the pefect home on 13 acres, after 4 years of house hunting. It had been on the market for two years. Three days after we submitted our contract, someone stopped by, looked at it, and gave the seller cash for it. I was devastated!!! That was the house and property that I had dreamed of my whole adult like. I drove by it weekly, thereafter, for almost two years, and periodically looked for it in the real estate section of the papers. We are due for updating, maybe some renovations to open up and expand moving my mother on our level, but time and money are not available, right now. In the past year, I lost my job and my husbands hour were cut, reducing our household income and it was scary. We almost lost “our home.” We have overcome that and I have been blessed with an even better job. During that scary time, I thought of how blessed we really are with this smaller house, even if it does need some work. One of my 11 year-old twins reminds me often, “I love our house, this is where I grew up” (even though he is just 11), and that is because it’s where all of those wonderful memories are and continue to be made!
Brigitte says
Very inspired by your honesty and spiritual perspective on a tough issue. Our culture tells us we need more And bigger everything. Seems like you do, though. I can second the experience of the comment from the mom who’s kids stayed right by her regardless of the size of the house. This was absolutely my experience with my four girls. I used to joke all the time that we may as well live in a one room cabin like Laura Ingalls Wider. Perhaps, honestly, a little less so as they got older though. I wish you all the best in solving the problem. You can take some comfort in being spared the financial mis step of getting a house beyond your means. This creates a lot of stress. A way should reveal itself. I am entering the retirement phase but still want a large enough place so my kids and grand kids can happily visit and stay. It is always a balancing act I guess. God bless your dear family.
Corrie says
Perhaps you could think about writing to a couple home improvement shows and telling them your story and offer to blog on their changes. That might get an addition for free – or cheap!
Emma says
Oh Ginny, I feel for you! As a mother of four in a small house with two bedrooms I often say to myself ‘If I lived in China there would be my family and maybe my husbands all living in a space this size’
Then I move the furniture around..we call it ‘switcha roo’….and I’m alright for a few more months.
Your house looks beautiful.
Emx
Sarah o says
Very exciting! Praying it goes smoothly
Monique says
Hi Ginny, I know exactly how you feel! We lived in a 3 bedroom home ( with small bedrooms) and were bursting at the seams. We added on and it was wonderful! It just gave us more needed space because we added a bedroom ( with 2 closets!) and enlarged our laundry room to make another closet and a pantry so we didn’t have to keep our canned goods in the garage any longer ( always a problem when the temps dropped to near 0!) BUT, the problem with adding more space is that you will add more STUFF, and then you have the same problem all over again. 🙂
We now live in a 2700 sq foot home and all the kids have their own bedrooms and everything has its space and it is nice. But every once in a while I think back to when our three boys all shared a bedroom and I miss the fact that I can’t hear them talking to each other at night while lying in bed…
Ruby says
I am loving playing the ‘make do’ game more and more, the older I get, the more children we add to our family. I love your attitude in this post, makes me smile.
Kathleen says
Thank you for sharing because this makes me feel so much better about my feelings on settling into a home we can call our own. We are a military family and have lived in rentals and base housing for years. We owned a small home and had to let it go because the area in which we bought had the bottom fall out and our entire neighborhood went under. It has been a hard year and I have had so many feelings ranging from frustration to despair over whether or not we’ll be able to buy in a few years. (Sigh, that’s a lot of over-sharing but it feels good to say it since it has caused us such heartache). I know God has a plan for us and that we will settle after my husband finishes his military commitment but I can’t help but feel the strain of rental living. I am so happy that you are finding little joys in the small changes that you can do now. It feels great to read that others go through similar feelings and I am not alone. Best Luck!
Rhonda says
Hi Ginny. Here’s a little story to help you appreciate small living spaces.
Five years ago my husband and I moved out of state and brought my parents (both in ill health) with us. Knowing we would be taking care of them full time (as well as our 3 children), we bought the biggest house we could find (4 bedrooms upstairs + a “toy room” and 1 bedroom/bath/kitchenette/living room in the basement not to mention the rooms on the 1st floor, which includes extras like a formal dining room and a sunroom). Now neither of my parents are with us (my dad passed away and my mother is in hospice) and we have added 2 more children. One would think that having all the extra space would be wonderful. But trust me when I tell you that no one EVER spreads out. The littlest ones won’t even go on another floor of the house if someone isn’t with them (“too scary”). My children still find it necessary to sit on the couch with me while I knit (yes, all 5 of them) or pile around me while I’m making dinner. As I type this they are finding reasons to come into the office and sit on the floor under my desk or read over my shoulder! And let’s not even mention how awful the cleaning and upkeep of a large house is. If you can imagine the mess that kids make in one room, just multiply it by the number of rooms in a large house — they will and do find a way to make any and every room look like a tornado hit it. And seriously, does anyone really want to clean FOUR toilets? I know, I know, but the STORAGE… well, when you have it, things tend to multiply and fill it. I don’t know how it happens, but it does. Kind of like dust bunnies, I suppose. Lots and lots of things that you didn’t even remember you had and certainly don’t need.
We are now in the process of attempting another move to a much SMALLER house — something warm and cozy and totally manageable. Two toilets would be just fine, thank you, and Ill gladly give up some storage space in the process. I know the grass is always greener, but I simply can’t wait to downsize…
Hope this helps! 🙂
Annalisa says
You must know about FirstDay Cottages http://www.firstdaycottage.com, right? Do-it-yourself, customizable kits available for homes or additions. That’s our dream, we just hope to find a couple (affordable, but within our larger community) acres first.
Rach @ A Squiggly Blog says
Thanks for sharing this, I needed to hear it. We have moved three times in the last three years. The house we are in now has so many positives, I just keep focussing on the insects that live with us and how hot the house gets in summer. I need to keep counting my blessings. Thanks Ginny xx
Wendy says
It’s amazing how even just a small change can lift the spirits and help you regain hope. We just keep shifting and sorting and throwing out (and trying to avoid bringing more in), and somehow we keep making progress. A plan and some movement forward does so much!
connie says
hi ginny…….I was always wondering what happened to that house you looked at! our house is relatively small as well, and I agree with your thought that always wanting more isn’t as good as being content with what you have. for us, we just found ways to make the most of the space we have and come up with innovative storage ideas. and you know what? you end up keeping what’s really essential, which just simplifies your life. I know the feeling of being a bit claustrophobic can drive one crazy, but your home is so cozy and charming and you all seem to love being with each other, which is what I love about your blog. I’m excited for the changes and addition to come!
Lily says
Although there are only 3 of us in our family, I have been through the similar thought processes as you over the past few years. We have been going back and forth over various options for where to live and in what size house and I have finally come to the decision that the best home is the one that can be afforded without making you stressed about money. Stress about space issues is nothing compared with worrying about paying a mortgage etc. We only have a small mortgage but have still decided to move to a house we won’t need to borrow any money to buy. Once the decision was made it was a huge relief and felt so right. I also want to be content and not wish to keep grasping as it doesn’t make me happy to be like that – it is an ongoing process though!! xxx
Alie says
If it’s any consolation I have a friend who has a 3bedroom brick rancher (1200 sq FT) & 11 children. They only have two girls and the girls are little so they share a bedroom with their little brothers. Now that they are finally able to add on they are off loading children, lol!
When I was a girl I shared a room with my brother and sister at my fathers house. Dad built a triple bunk bed for us, we loved it!
I have seven dc 3 boys and 4 girls the boys share a room, they sleep on a bunk bed with a trundle bed underneath that my husband built.
The nice thing about having that many dc in that small a space is that it really prompts the children to go outside, no matter the weather.
Rachel Jepson Wolf says
They say that our homes have gotten bigger and our families have gotten smaller over the last couple of generations. Way to buck the norm. 😉 Our little house of 1000 square feet was home two generations ago to a family of seven. Three bedrooms. It can be done. Thinking of you all.
karen says
Oh how I wished that that house was yours last year, it looked like your style. A closet is a cherished item. When we lived in MI the closets were few and much needed. So are basements-in TX I missed that kind of storage 🙂
Amy says
We have relation that live in a small house. They put all the girls in one room and slip a single mattress under the bunk bed as a sort of trundle. In the morning they just push it back under the bed so they have room again. Could you build a murphy bed somewhere? Good luck, you’ll figure something out!
Nancy says
I can so relate to this. We lived in a tiny little 100 year old 1700 ft2 house with five kids for 8 years. We adored our house, and our neighborhood, but sometimes it was just plain discouraging. For two years we looked at houses, but most of the houses with 5 bedrooms were mansions, not budget homes, and it was so hard. One day we drove up to this place to look, at this brown 1970’s house, and I started crying. I looked at my husband and said, “Is this really the best we can do?” I know. But then surprisingly, it wasn’t so bad on the inside, full of light, and just right for our family. Then my kids explored the 3 acres, and we found all the blueberries and that REALLY changed my mind. I’m so glad we didn’t give up, and that we found the right place for us. You will find what’s right for you too!!!
Kate says
My sister’s husband built a triple bunk in a closet in their boys’s tiny room. It was a long closet with sliding doors which wasn’t very functional anyway. It’s actually a double bunk with a custom trundle box underneath, but the whole thing sleeps three. He bumped out into some dead space for a smaller closet in the room. It works pretty efficiently for them.
What takes up the most room in our house are bookshelves and the many books they house. I also had a four drawer file cabinet full of school resources that was taking up space. I went through it ruthlessly last year and got ride of almost all of it, reducing it to one box. I realized going through it that I was saving a lot of stuff that I thought I “might” use one day or was “neat”, but never used. Over the years I had distilled and pared our schooling down to what works consistently and my youngest is seven, so it was much easier to let go of all the stuff.
priest's wife (@byzcathwife) says
“Enough is as good as a feast”- that is what I’ve been learning this year- we tried and failed to upgrade our little townhouse to a little old ranch house- you probably already do this- but we have been 1. decluttering 2. using trundle beds and bunk beds- a bunk bed with a trundle fits 3 kids- just make the bed and put everything away during the day- it works!
Emily says
This is a great idea, Ginny! Your house and property seem so beautiful and maybe an addition down the road will mean that you can stay!
I am sure that you have seen the blog Assortment (http://www.assortmentblog.com/assortment/), but I wanted to mention it anyway. The author details life in a 665sf house with five people. The thing that I think keeps things sane in her house (they homeschool and craft too) is that she has a “library shed” (for books and homeschool materials) and a pantry shed. Maybe that would be a good solution for you too!
Emily says
Here a tiny blurb about the shed that I just found:
http://www.assortmentblog.com/assortment/2013/11/your-words-and-a-few-of-mine-on-storage.html
Lori Ann says
Ginny – love the idea of another closet – we all need them but you especially with all those kids! Though my 11 year old son does not need one – he can really just use a dresser for his items! Don’t know how you do it – the home schooling items alone (I am talking about only 1 child here!) take up a lot of space. Just love your posts – and your darling family. You are so inspirational and I must tell you that I have ended up checking out some of your schooling ideas – esp. for the older boys. Have a wonderful week.
Jess says
Sounds like their are many of us in small spaces….with lots of children.
We have learned to love bunk beds and trundles…..they are such a blessing. We have a bunk bed in the girls room with a twin on the top and a full on the bottom and a twin trundle underneath – saves a ton of space! Honestly the more space we have gets filled with things we really don’t need anyway….so small spaces are really a mixed blessing. Discontentment is like a disease that spreads – how freeing to finally view your situation from a different angle. I love your house! Looks so cozy and comfortable. Someday your kids will look back on it with fond memories. My kids will never experience having their own room…..but, I’m not sure that is such a bad thing anyway.
P.S. Your knitting has inspired me….I am trying to learn to knit and I think I am starting to like it. (Even if my first pair of mittens turned out to be 2 completely different sizes!)
Tonya says
I love this Ginny – because God knows just what we need and will provide when it is time. I also love how you are making the most of you have been given. We lived all 7 of us in a little three bedroom (tiny bedrooms) mobile home and Mike did build a triple bunk in one of the rooms.
We were recently thinking of buying a bigger house with more land and even went to the bank to see about a mortgage which it seemed we could get more than we even wanted. But after much thought and prayer – we don’t want to go into more debt – if anything we may consider selling our home, downsize, and enjoy having no mortgage. We are praying about that now.
Thinking of all of you.
Love,
Tonya
Nahuatl Vargas says
I hope you’ll feel better, and I think it’s great what you say about change the way you see things instead of letting grow unpleasant feelings.
Gwendolyn says
Ginny, I love how you are so open and honest about your feelings. I completely understand and am so glad you are responsible even in your need for something better for your family. Just this morning as I was driving to work in my beat up truck that’s 17 years old looking at the new clean vehicles on the road, I was smitten with the “need to have it” bug. My husband and I are empty nesters now, but I remember when we were crammed into our first 600 sq ft. home with 3 little ones…how I wish we still had that tiny house and no payment. We kept building homes that were more than we really could afford. Now that it’s just the 2 of us, I’m ready to move back to town and be closer to the grandchildren.
Robbie says
“I hate that feeling of wanting more or convincing myself that I deserve more. It breeds discontent.” This is so true. It is so much easier when we realize we are where we are supposed to be. I don’t need or deserve any more than what I have right now at this moment. I am truly thankful. I hope you have a wonderful week.
Anne Marie Hart says
As I was reading your post I was thinking triple bunk beds; you got that one figured out! Good luck with everything.
Kris says
I love your dedication to work with what you have, where you are.
We are often reimagining our space. I’m sure we’re not as crowded as you are – we have 6 in a 1300sq ft, 3 bedroom home. So, we have three boys sharing our master bedroom, and then we moved into the small room, and our girl has her own room. We just revisioned the boys’ room, adding a desk and pegboard for project time, which has been great for homeschooling. Not sure what we are going to do when we have to swap toddler beds for a big one. That will be another complete rearrange and the teenager might not have so much privacy anymore.
Olivia says
Doing something about it, having a plan, sometimes makes all the difference! My husband and I plan on having all three of our boys in one room soon with baby #5 on the way. We are getting a bunk bed with a trundle underneath. (IKEA is supplying it ;)) I really want all my boys in one room and we don’t have another room to spare. I was excited and hopeful when we found find this trundle option. There is always a way to make it all fit!
Good Luck!
meghann says
Oh, Ginny, how exciting! I was just thinking the other day about that house and wondering whether anything would ever come of it for you. But you know, if you love your community and your little house, the best solution probably is to build on to what you have. My parents did that, little by little, when we were growing up. (By the time we were all out of the house, they finally had a house that was big enough to fit all of us! But you’re starting earlier than they did…) I’m looking forward to see how this progresses… xo
Tracey says
Old doors make wonderful tables Ginny. I have a collection of old doors that I have saved for years and this is the year they will be used for a son’s wedding.
I wish you all the best as you begin you additions. I have raised a family of seven in a home that is 1500 sq. feet and not many closets either, my one disappointment with old homes, but you know, we made it work as I know you do too.
sonrie says
I have been rearranging a lot lately – maybe it comes from spending more time inside during the winter – but the changes of furniture and going through closets have really helped me have a new perspective on creativity and change. Good luck with your remodel.
Elizabeth says
will pray for you about this; good to realize that what you have is good and that sometimes moving is not the answer; Lord keep and protect you all.
Emily says
Oh, goodness, I know the feeling of “bursting at the seams”. With twelve living under one roof, we outgrew the house we built when we thought our family was only going to have 5 members in it. For years we made do (and even had a triple bunk), but we finally dove into the building of an addition. It definitely has had its ups and downs…we currently have four finished rooms with two more to go.
I’m so glad that you have peace about your plans…they sound exciting (can’t wait to see pictures of the progress)! The old door is wonderful…glad you are saving it.
Kristina says
I needed to read this today. I love keeping up with your growing family and your cozy home; I certainly needed to read about your home improvement ideas today, though. I have been grumbling about our house’s condition for the past year (or four…). The poorly updated 70’s decor, the floors chipping off and peeling up, the dark “wood” paneling, the cramped and cluttered small rooms, the lack of places to put our outdated and repaired-too-many-times furniture. The reality is, we want to move, too. We want to move to the country to a house maybe not bigger, but better laid out and suited to our needs, with a yard for our three year old son to play in. The bigger reality is.. we just can’t do that right now. It’s made me discontent and unhappy to still be in this house after 5 years with only small improvements made. Fed up with my own attitude, I made a pact with myself a few weeks ago to stop complaining and start making it work for us while we are here. We had a kitchen fire in October and had been waiting for a contractor to finally agree to the work that needed to be done. We were living in the charred remains until last week. Now that the kitchen is redone and beautiful, it’s breathed new hope and life into the rest of our home projects. I feel like I can finally see the true beauty in this home! I hope your new closet space and pending addition do that for you, too! Best to you all!
Hullabaloo Homestead says
Oh gosh…we are so a like. My family too were Sunday open house lookers…after church…that’s what we’d do. And Id pretend…and I think in that brief time I lived many a life…or past lives in those houses. I had a wild imagination.
Its hard to live on top of each other. I try to see the “lesson” in it all the time. We manage well. But to “need” more…I get that deeply too! Hang in there. I hope that closet and triple bunk will get you by until you are able to put on an addition.
:)Lisa
harleygirl says
ha, ha, your situation is mine! I have a 5 member family, in an 825 square foot house with an upstairs so small that you can’t stand up in it or have bunkbeds. The baby sleeps with his crib jammed against our bed…and I keep wondering WHAT will we do once he outgrows it?! Like you, we’ve had “the dream” of moving; looked at houses, only to realize that we can’t afford to move, either. So…here we are, still crammed in here. It does get really frustrating, I know! And I have NO closets! It’s rather annoying. But, someday something will happen, even if it’s just a small addition. Hang in there. I 100% feel your frustrations.
Wanda says
I’m anxious to see the changes! Yes I agree that it is better to see how we can make things work. We thought we would only be in our house for 5 years, and then life happened, sick child, business changes. We have now been here 25 years and since we are so close to having it paid for we just stayed put.
There was renovations happening here over the weekend as well. New bookcases and a permanent mantle for the fireplace( that doesn’t work at the moment). I will be posting pics when the painting is complete.
Katharine says
We are six in a two bedroom condo we’ve lived in since we were just two. Near constant rearrangement of furniture and room usage has kept it doable for nearly twelve years. While more space sometimes seems tempting I love that this small space has kept us close as a family. We are moving this spring and the new place will likely be bigger but not too big. I wouldn’t want to give it up completely.