Jonny has been wearing Job in a wrap to give my back a break here and there. He doesn’t actually knit anymore (that was short lived), but was trying to pretend he was knitting to be cute when I grabbed my camera to take his picture. He couldn’t keep a straight face though!
In other news, Seth, who “doesn’t care for babies” held Job for the first time last week. I did my best to get a picture. In bigger news, my friend Eve had a baby boy over the weekend! He and Job were too tired to be properly introduced, but one day Job will be able to tell him that he has known him literally since the day he was born. Eve’s baby was nearly 9 pounds, and Job still looks like a giant baby next to him!
It’s strange, but good, being able to work comfortably in the kitchen again. I love being able to stand at the sink while actually facing it, rather than turning my torso awkwardly to the side. Thanksgiving day found me making cabbage and potatoes (this recipe is simple and very good) rather than more traditional Thanksgiving dishes. I also made some simple crock pot apple butter. The plan this year was to hit the grocery store on Friday morning and get a discounted organic turkey as we’ve done in the past, and make our official meal a day late. We don’t have family nearby to celebrate Thanksgiving with, so it was worth shifting the holiday by a day to save a little money. Of course we arrived at the grocery store to find them sold out of turkeys this year. I was lucky to find a smoked turkey breast in the freezer section. In fact, I think I was really lucky to end up with a precooked turkey that simply needed reheating considering I have a four week old baby (four weeks today! I can’t believe it!) who mostly likes to sleep in someone’s arms. It goes like this: I lay baby down. Baby sleeps for thirty seconds. Baby passes gas. Baby starts to cry. I pick him up.
The morning after our Thanksgiving meal Jonny discovered that our son who is in charge of putting away leftovers had failed to pull the stuffing I had made out of the oven to move it to the fridge after dinner. The stuffing was the most time consuming and labor intensive thing I made and I made a lot so that we would have some for lunch the next day (I made this recipe minus mushrooms because I don’t eat them, and I even made my own sage sausage because all I had was ground pork.) I was really upset that we had to throw all that food away, and it was hard not to make a big fuss. I wanted to, well really I just wanted to cry, but I knew it was an accident. And accidents happen every day, lots of times. I’m discovering that as my boys get older, there seem to be more opportunities than ever to correct their manners or get upset over their latest mistake, or the most recent thing that they’ve broken. I could spend my entire day like this: “But that was our last mug you just broke! Please be more careful! Have you brushed your teeth today? What? You lost your deodorant two weeks ago and you haven’t told me? That explains a lot! When we ask you to load dishes, we mean all of them, not just the ones that are already in the sink. What do you mean you haven’t started your school work yet and it’s 9 p.m.? Did you pull that shirt out of your dirty laundry? Seriously? I know you don’t care what your hair looks like, but you have to at least try to fix it for Mass. Stop treating your sister like that! She’s half your age! You should know better!” I could go on and on and on. And at some point I realized, that’s exactly what I was doing. All of that correcting was replacing relationship, or was at least paving the way to do so. What good is any of this, if they eventually don’t want to talk to me anymore? So I am trying to become more deliberate with my words. Before I remind, correct, or nag, I stop and ask myself if it’s really important. Sometimes it is, but sometimes it really isn’t. When I do decide that it’s important, I really try to watch my tone of voice and my choice of words. That makes a huge difference. And then a few days ago, I got this advice from another mom regarding teenagers, “Praise them twice as much as you correct them.” I’m finding that this is harder than I thought it would be. Generally speaking, parenting these older kids is proving harder than I thought it would be. I am also realizing that as much as they have to learn and grow, so do I. So we’ll have to do it together, and I’ll pray that I don’t screw it up too badly on my end. And at the end of the day, I’ll remember to beg for Grace.
Leslie says
I could just eat Job up with a spoon! What a precious, precious baby! Yummy!
As the mother of two teenage boys (17 and 14), I’ll tell you that the late elementary/middle school years were by far the hardest ones for us to manage. I had a school teacher friend tell me once that all kids get “the middle school stupids” (her words, not mine!) and she was so right – it seems that everything you’ve taught them, even the small stuff, just disappears! Then, suddenly, almost overnight it seems, my boys turned the corner – instead of being dirty, smelly (blue funk used to hang in the air at our house!) blobs, they go the opposite direction – can’t get them OUT of the shower, change clothes at least three times a day, primp (more than I did as a teenage girl), etc. Instead of having to argue about schoolwork, being responsible, etc, both of my boys now attend very academically challenging prep schools (on scholarships no less!) and LOVE being independent young men. Patience, patience, patience is all I can tell you….and always ask, “Is this a big thing? or a little thing? Will this behavior hurt them or others? Will this issue matter tomorrow or next week or when they’re 30?” Usually, the answer is no – so I (try to) let the ugly words go and wait for a time to calmly discuss at a later time – I’m not always successful, by any means, but so far, my sons seem to be developing to the men God intended – and that’s the best result of all.
Ginny says
Thank you so much for sharing this Leslie. It’s good to have an idea of what to expect. I didn’t grow up with brothers and boys are just new territory for me! Patience, yes patience.
Leslie says
I’m the oldest of three girls, so boys are new to me as well. Usually when I get on a rant about boys being “weird,” my husband reminds me that “boys are just different from girls.” I really hate it when he’s right! :o)
Hullabaloo Homestead says
Oh yes…these older kids. In a moment, I like to think, ok…is this situation going to hurt someone or break anything…no, okay…let it go for now; talk later..or just let it go. Easier said then done…that’s for sure!
:)Lisa
Kendra says
It is amazing God’s timing. Your post came at a time when I too feel like I am drowning in corrections of my older two children. A time I would have hoped that some of what we have shared with in them in 13 years has sunk in… but at times it seems a regression in skills, abilities, behaviour happens… the more that happens the tighter we get with the discipline… nagging… exasperation… leaving little room for love, life and joy of this gift of family … the gift of children God has made unique to themselves in which we are to nurture to be what God wants them to be. I think this may be exaggerated with a home schooling environment as well, as we see all 24/7 … there is little we don’t observe. Thank you for this life preserver of Grace… I now know I am not alone in these feelings:) And with a deep breath, prayer, and more silence on my part I can let go of the unimportant and hold on to the precious.
Lydia says
Thanks for your words on correcting your older boys. My oldest is 10 and I sound much the same these days. The other day when I was mid scold, my boy made an involuntary brush at his cheek. I don’t know if he was really about to cry, but it stopped me dead in my tracks. This is hard. Thankful for grace!
renee~heirloomseasons says
Me too, more deliberate with my words.
As far as helpful big kids around the house, what I have noticed with Chloe during these 12th/13th years is that yes, of course she is more capable, and her feet are more firmly planted on the ground, but her head is still very much up in the clouds! (So there have been leftovers left out here too…)
As far as babies go… yours is super adorable, and so growing, one whole month old!
And my baby is now one whole year old!!
Glad you are feeling good in the kitchen.
Thinking of you lots, much more often than I write…
Love to you!!
Renee <3
Bree says
Amen and well said 🙂
Briana (justamouse) says
(((hugs)))
I have three boys (and 4 girls) but yeah, those boys. When I was SO EXHAUSTED with babies people would always tell me, small child, small problem, big child, big problems and I didn’t get it then, but yup, it just shifts. Bounced checks, wrong relationships, questionable choices. However. You love them, and they love you and they grow up. And then they are taller than you, and the age you were when you were married and in your kitchen cooking you food or making you coffee and hugging you.
These years, Ginny, they are hard. They will be hard on you because of the sheer span of ages and what all those ages demand. The good news is that love covers a multitude of sins and that there’s Mass on Sunday. And you get to ask for grace and you have the most awesome Mother in the whole universe to ask for help.
kimberlee says
This is beautiful, Briana! And all so true. (and there’s Confession too, Deo Gratias)
Jenn says
Ginny. Thank you. You have no idea how these transparent words have blessed me today. I wish you the best. God is so good to give us such grace. I hope to show the same to my children.
Taryn Kae Wilson @ Wooly Moss Roots says
Ginny,
Beautiful pictures. How special you and Job got to meet your new little friend on his first day on this earth.
I can relate to feeling like all I’m doing is nagging/correcting some days. I like what you said about asking yourself if it’s really important or not. I keep asking myself that too. Otherwise I get tired of hearing myself say no all day long. I need to relax more… which means I need to knit more! haha 🙂
Love to you guys.
Taryn
Jeannine says
Ginny, I have boys 14, 12, 11….well said! lol
stephinie says
oh that is so wise….
“praise them twice as much as you correct them.”
because it’s true, they only hear half of what you say. if you’re lucky 🙂
my favorite (very tongue in cheek) advice from a friends mom was something like “don’t worry so much, you’re going to mess them up anyway.” when she originally said this, I was really rather devastated by the comment. however a few teenagers later, it’s got me giggling when I think of it and being more gentle with myself…. and in turn, them as well. we all mess up. we just have to remember to forgive and love, and all will work itself out somehow.
xo~
Erin says
I have a 16 yr old son. I have to remember to give him a big, long hug every day. You can just feel him relax after a minute. I think the best thing is to keep talking to them and let them know that you love them no matter what.
noel@tibaultandtoad says
Aw Job! He looks so much like Silas to me! He’s so big and glorious. You’re making me miss the newborn stage already again (my LO is 6 months tomorrow) 🙂
Linda says
Your beautiful photos are so soothing to my soul. The one of Job in the bath just made me sigh with joy. Just marvelous.
Elizabeth says
Love these pictures. Lots of goodness. I took a marriage and family class years ago and the teen years the instructor said, for parents, is like white water rafting ~ one just has to hold on tight to the boat… ~ I think your efforts are wise and realizing what one can do better is helpful for us to hear ~ it’s not easy to be a Mother of so many and some of them teens. But God and all the Saints are with us ~ and the Mother of God can help mighty in times of distress and upbringing challenges…
Christine says
I hope I say this right, but your challenge with your son is a source of encouragement and hope for me. I’m not in this alone? Is he just like other boys his age? He climbed my pantry door and tore it off the hinges, fiddled with newly replaced (expensive) front door handles and broke it, whines, complains, the list goes on… The days of ultra cuteness are few and I have to search somedays to find the lovely in him (which is still there in abundance!) But I find myself having to hold my tongue more and concentrate really being gentle, and I fail miserably everyday. Yes, Grace. I’ll be thinking of you in my prayers when I’m praying for it too. Have a blessed day.
Gretchen R says
Your pictures are magical. They are always a reminder to me that beauty can be found in the ordinary every day.
I completely know what you mean about the constant correcting. I’ve been experiencing that with my oldest lately, and I’m learning to cut back because I realized what I was doing was constantly discouraging her. I found I had to choose between seeking her heart and seeking her perfection. It is hard. So, so hard.
Christine says
Love that. Seek his heart and not his perfection.
Sonja says
Thank you, Ginny! Great parenting encouragement. I have three teens and it’s always good to be reminded to re-evaluate how my relationship is going with them. 🙂
Renee Anne says
I only have the one boy (so far) and I am not looking forward to the years where I have to remind him to throw his stinky butt in the shower, actually wash with shampoo and soap, brush his teeth, put on deodorant, and find clean clothes to wear. It was one of my biggest complaints about boys in middle school and high school (especially middle school, though).
I love seeing baby Job in all his woolens 🙂
Jennifer says
I’m looking forward to checking out some of the resources other commenters mentioned and also to see your approach with the boys, Ginny. My older child is eight now and he is just on the cusp of this stage. I’m already seeing it in some of his choices and interactions with family members. It’s so hard to bite my tongue and not constantly criticize and correct but it’s hard to watch a child who was just a little guy a very short time ago already starting to go down this path. I know a lot of it is just his age and maybe also being a boy, but I also try not to get into the “boys will be boys” thing too much. It’s a hard balance. I appreciate reading your thoughts and ideas on the matter.
Dawn says
As the mother of a 16 year old boy, 14 year old girl, and a 12 about to turn 13 year old boy…I will say that for me, parenting teenagers requires more of my time and attention than parenting babies and toddlers. I LOVE having teenagers, they are so witty and curious. They want so badly to be independent but they NEED us to be watching so that we can guide them when they need us to guide them. It takes careful attention to walk the fine line of watching from afar but being at the ready when they need us. My teenagers attend our local Catholic school and have a myriad of after school sports, clubs, theater, etc. They wear me and the younger sibs out as we go from activity to activity taxiing them around. We just took in an exchange student too, age 16 on an emergency basis, so we added another one for me to carefully observe.
Your friend who said “praise them twice as much” is correct and it requires more attention on the part of the parents to notice when your kids are doing something right.
I too thought that as they got older and could do more for themselves, my job would be easier. I found out that it isn’t easier, it requires as much work, just in a different way.
Ginny says
“I too thought that as they got older and could do more for themselves, my job would be easier. I found out that it isn’t easier, it requires as much work, just in a different way.” Yes, me too!!!
Jordin says
The past two years have been really hard on our family. I tried and failed miserably at praising twice as much as correcting while my husband was deployed. When my husband returned, it took 9 months, but our 12 year old boy finally started to show his true self again. He was remembering to do all his chores without being reminded, doing all his school work with only minor complaints (more that he would rather be doing something else). I was feeling like I had our home under control again and enjoying being at home. And all the correction had brought him to become someone I LOVED to be with and was excited to watch him become the man God designed him to be. But God had other plans for this boy, and as soon as that feeling arrived, it disappeared when our 12 year old died suddenly and unexpectedly.
Now, I would give ANYTHING to praise him. All the correction feels like it had a purpose, but I would take more time in just being with him.
Dawn says
Jordin, my heart breaks for you. You are in my prayers.
Jennifer says
I am so sorry.
julie says
thank you so much for sharing. I am sorry for your pain. Thank you for choosing to share to help others, You are amazing.
Christine says
Thank you for your courage in sharing your story.
Kris says
Such a sweet baby boy! I love all the photos of cuddles and snuggles with so much warmth. As for older boys – I can relate completely. Though I only have one older one, now 13, we’ve had both rocky times *and* really great times. From 9 through 12 it was really rough. Parenting Passageway has some great articles about the Waldorf ‘turnings’ I think they’re called. I believe there is one around age 9, but could be wrong. Regardless, those articles really helped me to understand what he was going through. My husband and I basically did what you are doing now – we threw in the towel in regards to all the comments and questions and insisting on things since it wasn’t doing anyone any good. We tried to make space for him, and with him. Carving out just a few special moments here and there to connect really helps, which is of course hard with a house full of children and a newborn! Gordon Neufeld and our parenting counsellor who is trained in his work were a huge help, as was the Positive Discipline book. We loved Unconditional Parenting in philosophy, but in practice Positive Discipline offered us way more to work with in the day to day. Today we have a young man who is thriving, loving school and setting goals for himself that he is achieving. He is polite *most* of the time and helpful *sometimes* ; ) It’s still really a daily struggle to not comment on this or that, but is so, so much better than before! Fingers crossed that it lasts!
Peace to you as you walk through this stage with your guys!
Melissa says
Thanks for sharing your thoughts about the challenges of parenting older children. I am also finding it more difficult than when they were little. It is a great help and inspiration to read your words and all the thoughtful comments here as we journey through these years. We recently had parent/teacher conferences, and it was a great reminder that our children have been showing their best selves to their teachers and classmates, and that home is the place where they feel safe and relaxed enough to make mistakes and let out their feelings and frustrations. You are right–grace is exactly what we need, both to receive and to give our children.
Sharon says
So good to hear these words about parenting as our kids get older. My oldest two are 14 & 11 and I also find that I need to change my discourse. Thank you for this reminder.
Erin says
Thank you for sharing this Ginny. After heading to bed last night feeling defeated and confused about raising my pre-teen for exactly the reasons you discuss, this was the first thing I read this morning. Thanks for reminding me I am not alone on this journey, and there are other moms in the same boat!
Jenny says
I keep saying the same thing as of late, “Parenting teens is harder than I thought it would be.” Even said it in the confessional…Anyway. There is a song by Casting Crowns, “Courageous” and in it there is a chorus in the background, “Seek justice, love mercy, walk humbly with your God.” This has become my parenting motto lately. Other wise I ask questions I already know the answers to and put a child on the spot and possibly tempt them to lie. I go on and on and on about something that at the time seems like it needs a a lot of correction because I don’t want it to happen again, but in reality the going on and on just assures more mistakes and accidents because I’ve not shown them how great they are and instead focused on what they can’t or don’t do. All that to say, there are others in the same boat as you.
I love the picture of the big, strong daddy hand holding the baby in the bath.
sarah says
I needed this today. My oldest is almost 9 and I feel like we have been at war for the last several months. I find that I am so worried about him growing up to be a jerk, that I don’t notice when he is a good boy. And when I react angrily, it only gets worse. Thanks for reminding me I’m not the only one who deals with this stuff. Great pictures!!
Penny says
Amazing in every way. Truly.
heathermama says
many moons ago mothering magazine asked which three years where the most important to spend with your kids and almost all the people answered the first three. i was one of the few that suggested the teen years were as important, maybe even a bit more. no they don’t need you to wipe their butt, or nurse them to sleep, or do the 100 other things you do with a baby/toddler but they need you so much more emotionally, on a different level. they need more understanding and gentle guidance. it is hard to forget when they become as big as adults that inside they are still kids. two of my 6 are teens and some days it is harder to deal with them then my 2 year old. not that they are bad kids in trouble, but remembering that they are not little kids and i need to address them differently, consider more of their requests, give them space to screw up and always, always have a listening ear and open arms. even when i think… you should know better! lol
Dawn says
I agree with you 100%. I am amazed by the many moms who seem to “check out” when their kids reach pre teen and teen ages saying “well, they don’t want me around”, “I cramp their style”. To me, that is a cop out and lazy parenting. I’m sorry but as long as my kids are under my roof and under 18, they are still my responsibility which means to me, I need to be “checked in”. I went to an Internet Safety discussion last week with our local sheriff and state’s attorney and was blown away by what’s out there…We need to be paying CLOSE attention to our kids.
Ginny says
Dawn, as far paying close attention goes, yes–you are so right. We learned a very hard lesson this year though, that even when you think you are paying close attention you can miss things–important things. We have this on our computer now, http://www1.k9webprotection.com/ It’s free and it does a good job. The internet is a very dangerous place.
Kate says
Oh, such a wonderful reminder, even for our little ones. I do try not to scold unless our son’s activities are unkind or look truly lethal, but on some days that’s harder than others.
Martha says
Wonderful encouragement about older boys! Keep the baby pictures coming too 🙂
Heather says
So very true for all relationships. When I feel as though I may sound like the teacher from Peanuts, I know it is time to be quiet, listen more and truly connect.
My oldest was only 8’14 (compared to my last almost eleven pound baby, that was small!), and we have a photo of him next to my youngest cousin who was born a week later. He looks like a giant. Today at 10 .5 they are similarly sized. Although my cousin did mention this past week that someday he will be bigger. I don’t doubt it, since my uncle and aunt are very tall.
Heather says
Thank you for these beautiful pictures, and for sharing your thoughts about teenagers. I find I struggle with this as well, and deliberately trying to speak more kindness does make such a difference. But then I forget! So thank you for this reminder! Your family is beautiful!
karen says
I loved the teen years and the parenting that went with it. When they were babies, that was where I was lacking in patience and tolerance. Teens are moody, provoking and wonderful. If you respect them as the people that are and are going to be then you are heading in the right direction. Listening to them is the greatest gift.
Accidents do happen! I just shrunk (really really shrunk) a commercial wool sweater that my husband adored. It was a sad day yesterday-all the apologizing couldn’t unshrink it.
Brooke says
Praise twice as much. Such good advice. I am finding a ten year old a challenge. Teeth brushing, clean-ish clothing wearing, urgh. Job does look so healthy! I am finding your posting very inspiring this morning, thanks!
Kristen | The Frugal Girl says
Oh, I feel you on the older kids thing. It’s so different from parenting little ones, but just as hard. The hardness is just different.
Like you, I’m just venturing into these older years with my first kids, and I’m figuring it out. Maybe I’ll have it down by the time my youngest is a teenager!
beth lehman says
yes… teenagers. i have come to believe relationship is even more important now than ever. i’ve decided it’s my word for this next year. to put relationships first, to reach out to people around me, to work at preserving relationships with my kids, my husband, my family, my friends.
Ginny says
Me too! I had that exact thought–that relationship would be my word this year, and I am thinking across the board like you too–kids, husband, family, friends, etc.
Emily says
Oh, little Job is simply scrumptious!!!
So sorry about the stuffing…what a disappointment! Your words on raising teenagers couldn’t have been more real or true regarding life here on the farm as well. Thanks for your insight.
W-S Wanderings says
The homework one, I just did that last night. And upon hearing my tone, immediately wondered what my response would be if someone spoke to me like that, and how is it that such ugly sounds can be directed at those I love most. Yes, the learning is ongoing. Parenting is a process.
Your little one is gorgeous. Exquisite really.
Rachel Wolf says
1. Pete doesn’t knit anymore either. Also short lived. 2. Our stuffing also was lost to out-overnightness. It’s been dog food for the week. Sad/normal. 3. Your photos and words are a beautiful tribute to the extraordinary ordinary journey of this life. Be well over there. xo
Laura says
Such wonderful words of wisdom! My oldest is 9 and she is starting to enter that age where I feel like I am constantly correcting her. Just a couple of weeks ago I too decided to let more things go and to watch the tone with which I speak to her at times. It can be so difficult, but I remind myself it is so much better for our relationship.
On another note, just curious what size sweater that is that you knit for your little one. I have one due in February and I anticipate he will be big (my last three were all in the 9-10 pound range), so just trying to gauge size :-). Beautiful knits by the way!
Ginny says
That Small Things Romper is size 6 months. It’s big on him, but I just roll up the cuffs on the legs and sleeves, and he typically wears it over his clothes. I use it for trips out in the car and hope that he can wear it through the winter since I knit the bigger size.
Laura says
Ginny, thanks so much for taking the time to reply! I really appreciate the information. And again, such a beautiful knit.
Anne says
Thank you a lot for this post. The nagging at your boys thing is exactly what is going on here with my eldest son. I often forget, that he still is a child and although he can do more grown up things like his little sister, there is a lot of room for experiences and learning (looking from the adult perspective it’s mistakes). I often find myself in the position where I expect that some things/behavoir should be normal right now and then certain things happen again and again. I see, that my boy is getting frustrated when I tell him too often, what was wrong this time, and that kind of saddens me and makes me so tired. I should really let go more often, step back for a second emotionally and think if this is really that important to make a fuzz about now.
Have a nice week,
Anne
Trichat says
Ohhh… I’m sure you don’t know… You don’t know the impact you have on my own life! So sweet to think of your words during the day… Today, when I’ll face some difficulties with my teenagers; I’ll sure think of you! And when I’ll have to finish to fill the dishwasher, I’ll think of you! And when I’ll realize that the school work isn’t on the go at 9am, I’ll think of you! And… At the end of the day… Here in Quebec, Canada, I’ll smile, and think of you!
Thank you so much for being here, dear Ginny!
Cathy says
AAGH! Teenagers- they drive you demented at times but they come out of it believe me into super human beings. My advice – just keep telling them you love them and try to say yes as much as possible. The rest really doesn’t matter in the long run. Stuff is just stuff!
And they are all completely different you wonder they came from the same upbringing.
Love this phase just as much as the baby phase and oh boost their fragile egos whenever you can through praise and more praise- there are quite enough outside pressures telling them how below par they are.
My own Mother did irrecoverable long term damage to our relationship by nagging and criticizing all the time, never missing a chance to put me down.. hard to get over it even after so many years.
I determined not to do the same and now I have a fabulous relationship with my boys (should say young men!)
Sydney says
I have a daughter who is a lot like Seth. I found the 9-11 phase the hardest. She is now outgrowing some of her more boyish ways, but getting that girl to take a shower, take care of herself, brush her teeth (still doesn’t do so well with that) was really hard. At 13 she’s obsessed with the shower. There have been times when I thought I might go mad with the repeating, repeating…and I’m sorry to say I’ve voiced that frustration out loud. I do not hold my tongue well. Well, I guess I do. But I feel like I don’t. This post is very inspiring.
Oh and back in September this daughter broke a very special plate — a Soviet-era antique from Georgia (the country), irreplaceable. We had just moved. I was frustrated with her inability to look for something on a high shelf (carefully take each item down and look behind it! Is it so hard??? :-). She dropped a heavy pressure cooker lid on it and I freaked! I wailed (seriously wailed) and cried and went on for ten minutes. Then the sun came out and I told her it’s all right, I shouldn’t have put the plate there (I shouldn’t have) and never brought it up again. Totally split personality scary mama. Oh well.
Anna Yager says
One great way to deepen your relationship with your older kids and at the same time continue to provide guidance is to use such incidents to have a “brainstorming” session with the one who blew it: “let’s figure out what would make it easier in the future to avoid this”; “what ideas do you have?”, etc. Bringing them into the problem-solving makes them feel empowered rather than belittled, as they tend to do when we simply remind them or correct them (“Oh mom!”). Parenthood is an ongoing learning experience for sure!
Shirley says
I feel you are so on the right path in your mothering. Your friends advice is worth the effort. What you are coming to grips with is something that took me a long time to make into an “automatic” way of being with my children. There was more peace in me and more peace in our home. Even now that they are older/grown I am still refining my behavior lol. My thoughts are simply put for complex relationships with our children. Yet the keeping things simple does make it easier. Like you are doing, keep on keeping on, take care of you, hold onto the rod and let your gift of love guild you in the joyful and hard, but worth it journey of mothering. You are a courageous mother and I feel you are up for the journey.
Happy mothering.
lily boot says
Oh isn’t it! My girl turned 16 today. I love her dearly, enjoy her company and think she is mostly an enchanting young woman. However, I too find that some of her behaviours, as she grows and tests out her independence, really BUG me, and if I’m not careful I can pick away at her several times a day. Thankfully, my husband is much more mindful and now just has to look over at me and smile, and I remember to bite my tongue. Like you, sometimes it is important, but other times, it simply isn’t. Having her want to sit beside me and share her days and interests is oh so much more important. As always, your photos are beautiful Ginny – and that baby is scrumptious. Glad to hear you’re healing. Blessings to your family.
Lis says
I so enjoy reading your blog, such words of truth and wisdom.
Your baby is a beautiful little chub, my little one is just a couple of week older but at 8.5lb and 23in long he looks more like a human bean pole than a snugly little cherub (I call him my Twiglet). I love how different people are, right from birth even (but I wish he would gain faster, it’s stressing me out)!
Thank you for putting your thoughts out there, they build me up and brighten my days. You are an inspiration.