I told a friend recently that Jonny and I have a “date night” pretty much every single night. It’s getting a little more challenging as our older boys are wanting to stay up later and later, but we tell them, “We love you, we love to spend time with you, but now it’s time for us to be alone. Go to bed.” Jonny and I rarely go out on an official date without any children. There are simply aspects of our family dynamics that make the whole dating thing difficult, and at times, it has been downright impossible. We’ve been married nearly fifteen years though, and have figured out how to make things work, how to take care of our marriage without leaving the kids and the house behind regularly. We honestly enjoy sitting up late together after our kids are in bed, in our own house, more than we do going through finding a babysitter for our crew, and then doing the whole go out and eat and spend money, and then come home and pay the babysitter, more money… (Although I’m not knocking getting out alone-sometimes that’s what you need, and some people need that more than others.) Instead, we have found ways to “date” at home. Over the years we have taken up hobbies together, and we have found others that we can share separately, but side by side. Our honeybees are a perfect example. I know I’ve written here before that those rather expensive insects are one of the best investments we ever made in our relationship.
Wanting to share my passion for knitting, Jonny learned himself, and has even Yarned Along. I don’t dare touch his power tools though; I’d lose a finger or worse. Ultimately, we’ve found that he’s happier building or making things out of wood, and I am happy to sit nearby with my knitting. We can talk while we do what makes us each happy. Sometimes we do watch shows that we both like, but more often we are working on our projects and talking. There’s always plenty to talk about. Sitting up watching a screen together isn’t quite the same, so we don’t make that an every night habit.
This week Jonny assembled and painted beehives, and I worked on a couple of baby knits. My little fuzzy green alpaca Baby Vertebrae sweater is finished, and so is my Small Things Romper, complete with beautiful tree of life clay buttons that were a birthday gift to me last year from my friend, Sarah. And Jonny, he has a pretty blue hive ready for bees. We like our “date nights.”