Thank you for all the kind works in response to my down in the dumps post. They made me feel more connected at a time when I was feeling very alienated and out of sorts.
I have been very deliberate in my activities these past few days. Looking to lift my mood over the weekend, and fighting against a gray sky that just wouldn’t clear (until today), I did things that would make me feel happy, focused, organized, and peaceful.
I did a little knitting, working to finish the second (and largest) of a set of three knitted balls I am making for Beatrix’s birthday. I also started a small doll quilt with the intention of giving it to Larkspur for Christmas. Meanwhile, Jonny read the children picture books, including a new old book we received as a gift in the mail earlier in the week.
Keats and I finished his quilt top, and I sewed it to the batting and backing. Now he needs to quilt it, and then I will have the job of binding it; firsts for both of us.
I organized my bathroom/laundry room. Remember, we are in a 200 year old house that doesn’t have closets, well it has two small ones, but I have to find ways to store things creatively. Organizing and cleaning out spaces always feels good.
I took pictures of anything that happened to look pretty. Something I hadn’t really done in over a week.
And…today I went shopping. I can’t seem to drop those last few pounds, and I am realizing that I probably won’t until Beatrix weans. I only have one pair of pants that fits and is suitable for fall and the coming winter, so I went shopping specifically for corduroy trousers and a few tops as well. Jonny was very amused when I emptied my shopping bag to reveal a pile of grays, browns, and black. With the exception of socks and cardigans, I don’t move outside of my neutral comfort zone very often.
“He went to bed in a fever and could not sleep. A mark was on him from the day’s delight, so that all his life, when April was a thin green and the flavor of rain was on his tongue, an old wound would throb and a notalgia would fill him for something he could not quite remember.”
-Marjorie Kinnan Rawlings in The Yearling
Oh my goodness.
According to the Merriam Webster dictionary:
Nostalgia:
1 : the state of being homesick : homesickness
2 : a wistful or excessively sentimental yearning for return to or of some past period or irrecoverable condition
So much of my life lately has been filled to overflowing with nostalgia. I think that must be my favorite word.
I had to dig through a box of my old books to find my old copy of The Sun Also Rises which is the book my book group is reading this month. In doing so, I came across my copy of The Yearling, which I read about twenty years ago. I decided to pull it out and read it to the boys. I do believe I am going to appreciate it far more now than I did when I was thirteen and reading it on assigment. And yes, I do remember that it is devastatingly sad.
We all made lots of trips outside to check the nest boxes, rain or shine. Our chickens are laying between eight and ten eggs per day now. Every breed is laying with the exception of the Americaunas. I can’t wait for that first blue-green egg.
So, I kept busy this weekend and tried to stay above the looming melancholy. I even went so far as to clean underneath our refrigerator. Actually, I highly recommend that activity. I should have taken a picture of the filth that was residing under that massive appliance. Now every time I open our fridge I am filled with a little wave of happiness when I think about the clean floor that it is now resting upon. Even better than cleaning out the junk drawer, I’d say.
Jonny and I also took turns attending Mass on Sunday, he taking Keats and Gabriel, and me taking just Seth. Our youngest three children stayed home, and I got a break, getting to sit up front with my oldest child, rather than in the cry room with Larkspur and Beatrix. I hate to say it, but it was wonderful. We may do this for a little while. The cry room seems like a perfect place to get the flu and I am not really in the mood for that (not that anyone ever is). It was so lovely to be fully present mentally during Mass. I know I shouldn’t get used to it because I can’t keep the babies home forever, but maybe for a few Sundays more…
Tim and Susan says
What beautiful pictures!!! So nice to visit your blog via Cris'.
Annie says
I love the beautiful photos. You do see beauty in everything. I don't prescribe The Yearling. Now is time for "The Treasure Seekers".I have a bit of a gift for you. Could you send me your address? I had it once, but can't find that e-mail.
BT says
So sorry you've been feeling down and alone. And so glad you're finding ways and support to try to climb back up. It does appear that you're finding beauty in the small things again. Hope it keeps up.
crispy says
Glad you are a little encouraged. One of the things that makes the fall hard, is to know that winter is right around the corner. It is hard when it is dark around 5 and it makes for a long evening.Blessings – my friend.cris
godlover says
Great post, Ginny! Wonderful colors and subjects in the pics. I'm glad you're feeling somewhat better. It's okay to leave the babies at home for a few weeks I would think. I remember taking my kids when they were young. I never got anything out of it because of them and they never got anything out of it BECAUSE OF THEM. Wish I could have left them home once in awhile. Sometimes the soul must feed. There has to be a time when you can connect with the spiritual side of you. It's okay. It's late and I'm beat so I'll write later. Walked my full hour today! Yea!!