The best cure

Covering part of the kitchen table in butcher paper and leaving a few types of crayons out before going to bed is a good way to prepare for the next day.  Cleaning my room and then sitting down to start a new project is also very good.  (It’s best to ignore the fact that there are already several similar unfinished projects floating around.  One must follow inspiration where it leads, and mine is currently coming from this book.  Supplies purchased here.)

Jonny and I are both completely obsessed with bees right now.  We are trying some new things and having fun.  We are trying to focus on learning rather than outcome.  I just finished reading a book called Increase Essentials at the same speed one might read a thriller, the fastest I’ve read a book in a long time.

I am saving money on groceries by…(drumroll) not going to the grocery store as often!!  Saturday night was my shopping night.  I picked up about ten days worth of food including ingredients to make our traditional Easter treats:  lemon cupcakes and homemade peanut butter cups (recipe at end of this post).  I have no idea how that evolved, because I am not even able to eat one after the other.  Lemons and peanut butter just don’t go together.  Of course, my kids don’t struggle with that issue at all.  We also have a scavenger hunt on Easter every year.  There is typically a clue and a gift at each stop along the hunt.  But this year I didn’t buy many gifts ahead of time, just a couple of card games and a new book.  Saturday night at the grocery store I was struck with inspiration when I saw blueberry plants for sale outside along with Easter lilies.  Those were added to the hunt as well.  I wasn’t sure how that would go over.  But you know what?  The kids seemed just as happy about plants as anything else!  Especially Beatrix.

The best part of the weekend was singing the Alleluia at Mass with thousands of others.  That is when I always “feel” Easter.  It amazes me the way that something inside just lifts.  Nevermind that I forgot to buy new Easter shirts for any of the boys, and that we were pretty much a wrinkled motley bunch with the younger half of the family helping us to define the phrase “family circus.”

Job is sleeping a little better some nights, but the sleep department is still not the best.  We feel more settled about the grown up decision stuff, but it still feels scary.  Hopefully I can talk about that more soon.  Stitches, bees, and lemon cupcakes aside, I found my cure in the Alleluia.  Thanks so much for all your encouraging words last week!  I hope your weekend was a good one.

(Oh, and in case it isn’t obvious, the beehives that the kids were looking inside are empty.  And I thought I might also mention that Gabe says I have enough pictures of him- in case you have been wondering where he is.  He is typically standing somewhere just outside my frame.)

I Can’t

The dogwoods will be in full bloom on Good Friday this year.  They don’t always line up that way, and I love it when they do.  I can hardly believe that we have already nearly made it to Easter Sunday.  This Lent didn’t go the way I planned in any way.  We had the flu through the first week and that was all it took to seemingly erase all my plans and good intentions.  My friend Elizabeth wrote a piece about God planning your Lent, and I really took comfort in her words.

So I thought we’d rally this week, and that somehow I would figure out a way to make it feel holy.  It didn’t happen.  In fact, this week has been incredibly stressful.  Jonny and I are making big life changing decisions.  Those that remind us that we’re not kids anymore.  And for the past four or five nights, Job has been waking up nearly every hour.  I’m exhausted to tears.  Earlier this week I called a friend sobbing so hard that all I could manage to spit out were the words, “No one has died”  to reassure her that there was no real crisis.  I could hardly explain what was wrong.  She talked me through it and prayed with me.

I’ve been doing these little nutty tasks that soothe my brain.  I went through my Amazon wishlist of books and looked them all up at my local library.  Those they had I requested and then deleted from the wishlist.  It was really satisfying.  I’ve been going through our books, pulling quite a few to donate, selling a few that are worth selling, and reorganizing them all in the process.  It makes me feel better.  I can’t control my life, but I can control my books.

I can’t make Holy Week feel holy.  It just is.  Thank goodness I don’t have any control over that.