I was exiting the library this weekend (I only took my big girls this time) when I was stopped by a stranger. She asked me, “Did you go to J.M.?” Though what I heard was, “Did you go to jail?” My immediate thought was, “Does she mean as an inmate, or a visitor?” Rather than ask her to clarify, I just stood there for a moment looking dazed and confused until she repeated herself. This time I understood that she was asking me about a university, not prison. I answered, “Nope,” and she went on to tell me that I look just like someone she knew there. She concluded with a big smile and a “Well, congratulations, anyway!” and we parted. I didn’t have Mabel with me, so she wasn’t talking about my new baby. But I was wearing this green linen dress. It is loose and swing-y and could definitely pass for maternity. It isn’t breastfeeding friendly, but it is incredibly comfortable, and I love it. I wear it when I have an hour or two away from Mabel.
I do have a “baby bump” which can be confusing to strangers who don’t know that I actually had a baby two months ago. I’d love to say to myself with a smile that it takes nine months to grow a baby, and nine months to lose the weight, or whatever the saying is. But I know better. It doesn’t really matter how much weight I lose. I will, short of plastic surgery (I’m thinking no to that), always have a baby bump. I’d also love to say that I’m totally fine with that. I’m not, though strangers’ comments don’t bother me. It’s more their embarrassment that makes me cringe when I say, “Actually, I’m not pregnant.” To the woman who congratulated me on the library steps, I smiled wide and said, “Thank you!” There was no reason to say anything else. It really doesn’t matter if a stranger thinks I am pregnant. But, things get tricky when I am asked when I’m due. I confess, I’ve made up a due date before just to avoid the awkwardness. “October!”
Because I have a small frame and a pretty decent “bump,” this has been an issue for years. I once contemplated making an “I’m not pregnant” button to wear, but decided against it. For now, I am trying to embrace the concept of mystery. Is she pregnant? Or is she not? Who can know? Lady of intrigue and mystery: that’s me. I love how intriguing my baby bump makes me! (okay, yeah right.) I’ve got work to do in the self acceptance arena. Lot’s of it. I think most of us do, though I doubt any of us would trade our children for our former bodies. But wouldn’t it be nice to have your cake and eat it too? Actually, in my case, I’d like ice cream.
Of course all this is beside the point of these photographs. I really just wanted to share this scarf that I finished awhile back and forgot to get pictures of. This was my first time knitting a substantial project in linen, and I loved it! This scarf will be gifted soon, just in time for fall weather.
matty says
I love the shawl! And, I giggled about the baby bump because my baby is 34 and I still have a little one (he was a big boy, that one!) … and I am proud of it. God choose me to carry a special soul whom He has lots of plans for! What a mark of honor! Trust me, you will come to embrace your beautiful self, stretch marks and all! Marks of a warrior! And, just to be clear, anyone with manners wouldn’t ever ask if you are preggers or even comment on “your bump.” I think you are adorable and I bet everyone who loves you does too! 🙂
Megan Wahl says
i love this- my new saying will be ” you are a fabulous lady of intrigue and mystery” for positive self-talk about my “food baby” AKA perma-bump! it seems very Bridget Jones and makes me smile
Sarah says
Thank you for the laugh Ginny! If we don’t laugh we cry! I have also given birth to 7 Babies and have the diastasis issue. I am assuming that is what you are referring to as the baby bump. I am intrigued by this post from LikeMotherLike Daughter- I want my core strength back and to mostly close the gap. (Stomach muscle gap)
So although I bought the mutu system, I haven’t yet begun. Soon!
http://www.likemotherlikedaughter.org/2016/06/taking-care-core-baby-mutu-review/
Karen Ade says
Loved your post, Ginny. I can totally relate. After nine children, four of whom weighed in at over 11 lbs I have despaired of ever losing the look of being pregnant all the time. I get depressed about it sometimes as I love feminine dresses and would love to wear something with a waist again. Fortunately I love empire waist dresses too! Congratulations on finishing your lovely scarf so soon, you amaze me! My answer to the “When are you due?” question is, “Anytime now!” God bless you and your dear family!
sarah says
What a pretty dress! People are silly…Ive learned and have heard not to ask or assume someone is pregnant. It just makes for awkward chats. I think best to wait for them to tell if they are or aren’t :)) You look great by the way!
Conny says
You are a mother and not a virgin. Also, kids love it when one is soft and round. My kids say it’s cozy. You look beautiful, like a wonderful mother…. 🙂 And the green of your dress suits you.
Rebecca Woolston says
I’m in the opposite situation right now. I’ve had “a baby bump pooch” looking thing for years but I am now just pregnant with my first. I’m worried that people will not know that I had the baby because my pooch will probably be ever-present. But hey, at least I have plenty of clothes that are loose and comfortable for the pregnancy!
Thanks for your post. Love the outfit.
Pam says
Hi Ginny,
I love the dress and I don’t see a bump at all! Who cares about bumps, you’re beautiful on the inside and it shines out through your face and your beautiful children.
I love the scarf and bought the pattern. I hope it’s not too difficult because I’m not that advanced in my knitting skills. I just finished my first pair of socks and that was a challenge but I made them! I am anxious to try another pair. I enjoyed the process and that’s what it’s all about.
I so look forward to your posts. I’m 68 years young with my first grandson being 5 months old. I love hearing about your baby and other children because it makes me think remember mine. My grandson lives in NJ and I’m in VA so I don’t get to see him all that often.
Once again, the dress is grand as are you!!!
Ravenna says
I am totally loving that dress. It just looks like a dress a girl could wear all summer long. …and the scarf too. Beautiful colors. 🙂
…I prefer cookies 😉
Michelle says
Oh gosh!! I had a completely different Reaction when I first saw your pics wearing the green dress and beautiful handmade scarf! I thought gosh I had a baby 2 months ago and I wished I looked as good as her!! Imagine my surprise when I read your post! You are so lovely!! I enjoy being in the beautiful club of motherhood and sharing our stories-some more triumphant then others!!!
lesley says
Thanking fo sharing ginny! I’m 10 months post delivery and I’m glad to know I’m not the only person. Who still looks pregnant.
Annaleah says
This sounds so familiar! After six babies in 7 1/2 years, I definitely have a perpetual baby bump, too, and the exercises I do for my diastasis don’t seem to help! So I just always look about 5 months pregnant, and get asked if I’m pregnant all the time! Like you, I don’t really care that much, except that I feel bad for the person asking! My youngest is two months old, and I was shocked the other day to have someone ask, “How do you explain having a two-month-old and being pregnant?”. Ummm… I had always assumed that no one expected you to look awesome after just two months, but I guess I was wrong!
Hannah says
Oh my goodness, how rude that person was! Why on earth should you have to explain anything? There are some seriously thoughtless people out there. How wonderful that you have six precious children – your body is awesome to nourish and birth and care for those blessings. I have five and despite the toll it takes on the body, I do hope I get to do it all again. Stay strong fellow mama.
angie says
the scarf is gorgeous – the dress is beautiful and you are stunning – both inside and out.
this body is going on baby number 4, due october… (not including our twins that did not get to come earth side a little while back) and i wouldn’t change this body for anything even though it is so very tired feeling and…. looking…. 🙂 )
how blessed are we to be given the opportunity to cherish, nurture and grow little beings.
thank you for sharing this with us xxx
Hannah says
My first thought when seeing the photo and before reading the text was “I can’t believe how good Ginny looks so soon after having Mae!” I think that dress is lovely and flattering on you!
karin-ida says
You look great, I still have “my bump” a little even though my youngest is 17 😉
I am proud my body has given life to three wonderful human beeings, who all in their special ways will make the world a better place. Love how you have found strategies how to answer these questions;)
Elizabeth says
It’s a cute dress. 🙂
I am saddened that our society has so much misunderstandings about what is *normal* change in a woman’s body. Our metabolisms change. I used to be super thin, so much that I hated it (the later, hating, was wrong and of balance of me as it was not being OK with who I was then)… . Now I am not that thin and I am fairly at peace with it, but was recently challenged to see that there is just a lot of self-hatred about woman’s bodies within women. It can be really painful to realize that someone may be struggling with those feelings and try to pass them on to another person who has fallen past the false belief of ‘gaining weight past the acceptable range’.
I think the real issue here is the level of self-hatred for what one is or the wrong judgement of what one should or should not be in terms of weight. I really appreciated a monastics words about this topic (I asked) and her words were really helpful – don’t focus on your figure (that can lead to vanity) but on being healthy. And that we come in all different shapes and sizes. There are levels of heaviness that may not be healthy, but that is another person’s Cross and life to work out, not one that should be criticized by others.
I am thankful also that I have a husband who knows that the social exceptions of beauty are often horribly skewed in terms of thinness and what is normal as we age. I don’t have any children, but I am almost 40 and my body changed. And that’s OK. The main focus should be on health, not on either vanity or a self-hatred that can come I think actually because of vanity (i.e. not being up to par with our own ideas that are based on societal expectations).
You are a beautiful woman and mother… No doubt about that! 🙂 And I like the dress. And the scarf, how neat about the linen yarn!
Melissa says
I have eight children as well & have often been mistaken as pregnant even when I’m not. A little over a year ago, I sat in my OB’s office complaining about it. He said , “It’s normal.” Well, I didn’t like that answer. I had finally lost all the baby weight, but I didn’t look any better. My back ached at the end of the day. Then I discovered I had a diastasis recti. I went through the Tummy Team’s online rehab program. I’ve been doing Fit2B’s online workouts (which are tummy safe & not difficult–even for an exercise imbecile like me). Lo & behold, I closed that huge stomach muscle gap, the back pain has nearly disappeared & I’m not constantly being asked if I’m pregnant. I still have a bit of a belly, but nothing like it was. I’ll never be pre-baby flat bellied again, but I’m doing much better. And no surgery!
Lisa G. says
Beautiful scarf, Ginny! And I also loved the dress right away, but thought it was a knit. Linen is a wonderful fabric.
Cynthia Madsen says
I think, that very often, our bodies are a good indication of how we feel about God. You look lovely.
anniekitching says
I think some people just presume that dresses like that are maternity dresses; I have had the same comment – and even back when I was (like Lori) very young and slim. Yes; it is embarrassing. But that dress is lovely! I wish I had one like it!
Beth says
2 things. You ought to check and see if you have a diastasis of your stomach muscles. Most women who have been pregnant do. There are specific exercises you can do to strengthen those abdominal muscles. It helps with the belly bulge. I will always have a baby belly and stretched out skin (6 babies) but having a tight, toned core really helps with confidence (and posture and strength). And the exercises are easy and fast for us busy moms.
Heidi says
Love the dress and scarf. You put colors together so well. I agree about empire tops & dresses……but fitted ones around the waist don’t work well either, lol. We have to achieve some happy medium between the two! Btw, unfortunate news….those baby bumps sag with age….just a forewarning. Granny panties are the best.?
Briana says
I don’t have a baby bump, I still have a baby flub. 10 years now, and it’s there, just as much of me as my nose is.
Let me tell you what undergarment I’ve come to love. The girdle. My nana wore one every day, and now I see why. After 6 pregnancies and 7 children, and all the miles of stretch marks, the girdle doesn’t change my shape much, it just keeps everything secure and in its place. It goes on every Sunday morning. I really think good foundational garments are a lost little trick we need to bring back.
Sally M says
That is a funny post. While looking at your pictures I was thinking, I love that dress. I wonder if she will tell us where she got it. I love your scarf, too.
I work with a beautiful girl who is tall and of childbearing age. She has had two children and has a small baby bump. She works two days a week and almost weekly she is asked when she is expecting. I just wish people were more thoughtful.
Jenna says
Even when I am pregnant (like now), my answer to strangers asking, “when are you due” is “time will tell”.. mostly because my first was 2.5 weeks “late” making her July due date an August birth, but it’s just easier mentally for me to not set the expectation in others (mostly friends, but strangers too) as I feel added pressure when baby “is late” (or ends up early) since no one told the baby when they are supposed to be “done” cooking.. our current society likes knowledge and expectation but this is one area I’ve found that adds stress to my already “not a walk in the park” pregnancies..
Saying my actual “due date” usually brings “you’re so small!” or “you’ve got over half-way left, you’re gonna be huge!” comments that I don’t care for either..
So, especially if it’s in passing like that, I just say, “time will tell” as I walk out or they head on their way.. 🙂
Juliana @ Urban Simplicity says
It’s funny you should write about this today–it’s been on my mind a lot lately. I had a belly bulge from the time I was 13! It just got worse with actual child bearing, and after five kids, I have this saggy bump of loose skin that is never going away. I keep trying to make peace with it and with my body more generally.
I really love that dress!! Thanks for the link (I was mentally working out how to hack a pattern to make one for myself). I’m saving it for next summer.
The scarf is really pretty too–the perfect complement to that green. Your whole look is really my jam right now.
Emily DeArdo says
I love the scarf! It’s so pretty.
I get that a LOT–thank you, prednisone. No, I am not pregnant. No, I’m not “due” any time soon. 😉 Thanks, guys! 🙂
Molly says
I love the colors of your dress and wrap.
Some years ago, you posted about the medical technicalities of a baby bump. It really pointed to the normalcy of a lasting change to a mother’s body. I only remember a bit of it, but it was really informative.
Kelly Sime says
Yes, I love your dress. I did not think you were pregnant. After only two kiddos, I get the same comments. What a society we live in…
justine Pearson says
Well, before reading the text I looked at the picture and thought “what an utterly lovely dress”. Looks beautiful.
xxx
Rosemary says
I am waiting for this to happen to me. I definitely have a “bump” that is never going away, and I have to chuckle wryly to myself when other ladies post their actual bump pics and they look … like I always look.
Bianca says
Did you dye the yarn with pokeweed? It’s just starting to ripen up here.
I like your dress. Pretty color. Yes, we have to accept our bodies, not that we can’t work on making them healthier. They sure do change as we age. Things that I never imagines just start happening.
We always need to remember self love!
Julie says
Ha! I was just asked last week if I had another little surprise in there. I was embarrassed for her as well, as I had to admit I had no surprises lurking anywhere near my belly, unless you call gas and bloating combined with a baby belly a fun surprise . I always tell people I got a complimentary jelly donut around my belly button with each of my children – it’s a souvenir really from motherhood.
I actually love the dress you are wearing and adore the color. All of your knits make me wish I was a knitter. Blessings for you and yours. You are lovely.
Rebecca says
I remember reading once (I believe in the book Loving the Little Years by Rachel Jankovic) something to the effect of our bodies aren’t trophies to admire but tools to be used for God’s kingdom work. I have tried to think of my body as a tool ever since- because that changes things immensely. When you think of it that way- you can’t help but be thankful for your body. It has served you very well.
But yeah- easier said than done as far as being thankful for those baby bumps (I have one too. And ginormous boobs, to boot!) Yes-having the cake and eating it too would be my choice as well. 😉
You really are lovely and so is the scarf!
Nathana Clay says
I think the dress is beautiful on you! It’s also in my favorite color! And though I don’t have a baby bump per se, there are parts of my body (probably due to 15 months of breastfeeding) that seem irreparably different now. I am trying to embrace it because I know I wouldn’t change having my daughter for anything! It’s a good thing our bodies are temporary. Time and age steal them away from us anyways . . .
Julie says
I get remarks on my supposed pregnancy all the time. It does smart a little, but I always feel worse for the person assuming that my pregnancy-shaped bod is indeed always pregnant. Oh well. I just keep reminding myself that as far as struggles go, this isn’t such a bad one. Thanks for sharing your story.
Tuutiki says
Great colour combination! Greetings from Czech republic.
fabienne maitre says
i love your dress and you look beautiful !
Katie says
I think I will always have a bump too 🙂 I’ve also thought about making up a due date for strangers, haha!!
Barbara says
Oh Ginny, I have just belly-laughed (no pun intended!) from beginning to end, reading your post!
I have had that happen many times over, and still to this day I have those looks of wonderment over my birth belly and I know they’re thinking, really? At her age?
Jean Marsh says
I still have my baby bump from having twins. That was 19 years ago.
Emily says
Thanks for this, Ginny. I still have a bump 18 months on 😛 You look lovely.
GretchenJoanna says
I love reading these baby-bump stories because, while they make me cringe, all of you seem to have avoided being angry and offended, and lean toward kindness and forgiveness. You are encouraging.
Tina, nyc says
Love the dress, love the shawl and most of all you for posting this today. First, you are so so beautiful. I don’t see a baby bump, at all. I see amazing peaches and cream skin that makes you look a decade younger than your age. Congratulations for making such a lovely life for your family! You are an inspiration to me.
Helena says
I love that scarf. I’ve had a skein of linen in my stash forever, because I didn’t like it for the original project I bought it for once I got going on it, so I frogged it and there it’s sat ever since. Now I know what I can do with it. And what a lovely color, too.
Here’s my ‘baby bump’ story: I was asked by the eye doctor during an eye exam if I was pregnant. I said no (my youngest was about a year old, I think). Since this was asked in a medical context, and I knew being pregnant could mean he’d look for certain things, I was not offended. But then he PATTED MY BELLY and said cheerily, “Really? ‘Cause you look like you’ve got a bun in the oven!” I don’t think he was trying to be mean, but wow. I laugh about it now, but at the time I was a bit taken aback! 🙂
I kind of want that dress…linen is so lovely and cool and it just looks comfortable. I’m terrible about ordering clothes online though, it’s so hard to tell if I’ll like the fit without trying it on.
erinn says
i love empire waist dresses. you look beautiful in your lovely dress.
i really wish people realized that it’s impolite to make pregnancy comments to ladies that you are not 100% certain are pregnant! it’s just awkward for everyone.
Kerry says
And oh yeah, I am never brave enough to wear a empire waist while not preg!
Kerry says
This is so great. You are totally beautiful. We all have our bumps and lumps and wishes for a difference in our bodies. Love the making up a due date!!!
Rachel says
Today at church my 5 year old son said “you look pregnant in that dress!” I had my twins 13 months ago. ? You look beautiful!
Lori Fowlkes says
ha. I think it’s more like ANYTHING empire or a-line can make people think it’s maternity. I’ll never forget how my youth group leader totally thought I was PG in like 10th grade when I wore a really adorable baby doll empire dress. I can assure you I had not even a food baby bump back then–it’s totally peoples association with dress cut!
Ginny says
Yes, I think that’s definitely the case with this particular dress! Bump or not, it could pass for maternity.
And you never told me that story about your youth group leader!