I am not one for looking ahead too far, so I never put much thought into the fact that my older children would one day read aloud to my younger ones. And now it’s happening all the time, and the ironic thing about it, is that the two children who struggled most with reading are the very ones who are now most willing to read aloud to their younger siblings. I wish I could have caught a glimpse of that a few years ago.
And I don’t think that anything could have prepared me for the way that it feels when I am able to share things with my little girls, special things that they seem to understand in the same way that I do. So often I find myself remarking to Larkspur, “You are such a Mini-Ginny.” And the other day, when I received a package in the mail from my Aunt Genie containing a paperweight from my grandmother’s desk along with her leather gloves, Beatrix looked at me with complete understanding when the tears started running down my cheeks. I remember that paperweight. I remember her wearing those gloves, and written inside each one, in her cursive, her name.
As my older children are getting older, and my youngest pair naughtier it seems, there are plenty of difficult parenting moments, and times when those moments feel heavier than the good ones. But I’m starting to feel a shift towards something profound and priceless in the relationships with my older children especially. That kindred feeling that comes from being so close. We’ve created a family in all its heartache and glory.
But oftentimes lately, we are feeling too close. Crowded. I’ve talked about it off and on over the years here. We have seriously considered leaving and then decided not yet, more than once. Our house is 1500 sq. feet. As dear as it is to us, this first home of ours, in some ways it has ceased to fill our needs. Though it seems nearly impossible that we could ever prepare it to sell with such a big family living in it, I am beginning to believe that we will move from this place. If not this year, certainly someday.
The first time my dad and I acknowledged to each other that I am pregnant again, it was him casually asking me, “So, where are you going to put this one?” I replied that the new baby wasn’t the issue. She’ll be tiny and I’ll keep her with me. It’s all these big boys bouncing off the walls. It’s the laundry spilling into our living space from our one downstairs bath that doubles as a laundry room. Our house is lovely, but it’s literally overflowing.
Jonny and I have been working hard over the past six months or so, doing extra work to pay off debt, to make repairs on the house, wanting to be ready. Last December, not really even meaning to, we came across a home that demanded consideration. More accurately, a home that Jonny has been watching for years finally dropped in price to a point that we thought we might be able to almost afford it, if we really scraped and worked hard. It’s a big farm, actually, that we think could be the place for our family. A forever place. The house has been empty for a decade or so, and on the market for just as long. It was last updated in the early 70s. It’s not giant. There aren’t separate bedrooms for all. It’s not fancy. The bathroom tile is out of this world ugly. But we think it could be just right. I emailed photos over to my mom which resulted in a flurry of emails from her, each one containing listings for other homes in our area on acreage. Newer homes. I tried to explain to her that while those might look nicer on the surface, they just weren’t right for us. Later during a discussion about asbestos testing, I laughed to Jonny, “I don’t know what’s wrong with us. It’s like we’re determined to experience death by old house.” We put an offer on that farm a couple of weeks ago, and the owners didn’t take it. I considered writing a letter to accompany our offer, sharing a bit about our family and the dreams we have for the farm. But I was terrified to try that hard if that makes any sense. The owner’s agent claims that they are preparing a counter offer, but we have yet to see it, and if it’s far from the offer we made, we won’t be able to swing it anyway. And that would be allright (though Jonny might dress in full mourning for a time). It may be that Jonny is supposed to start an addition on our current home this year (heaven help me). Or maybe we’re supposed to move to a home even older than our current one, needing more extensive renovation, but residing on the land that we have dreamed of for years. And of course there is plan C, whatever that might be. Right now I can’t shift my focus much further than the little one growing inside me. So for today, I’ll keep battling the laundry right where I am and trusting that God has a plan for tomorrow.
Laura Warford says
Ginny- if they counter offer and you counter counter offer (see how well versed I am in real estate??). Our agent mentioned that I might write a letter to introduce our family, complementing the home, and just sharing the vision you and Jonny have if this was the house God has truly chosen for you. We got the house- the previous owner said they had never had an offer with a letter and it had been on the market for almost a year and the letter impressed then- seeing that we were excited about exploring the bayou and that the playroom upstairs would be perfect to keep our learning consolidated (who was I kidding- good intentions but school is still everywhere?) even though moving was difficult- we love this new to us home as well (although not as much as Old Quirky House which was our first home purchase). Praying that counter offer is doable, but that God would make it abundantly clear which direction to turn in such a big decision- all for His glory!
Debbie says
God will guide you in the right direction, just follow him 😉
That would be so exciting for you all. Praying for you all!!
Maria says
Good luck Ginny! We bought our old farm 9 years ago and we love it although it is a neverending work in progress(my husband might not love it quite as much as I do, for that reason!) My husband had his heart set on buying the farm he grew up on, but when that door was finally (and cruelly) slammed shut in his face, this farm that we bought turned up at just the right moment. We never know what God has in store for us, but hopefully he has the perfect farm for your family!
Briana (justamouse) says
I live in an 1880 Victorian, and I wouldn’t have it any other way. Cracked walls and all. We still have kids doubled up, but like your house now, we don’t have laundry spilling out everywhere, and as my kids are now mostly taller than I am we’ve got room enough for three couches in the living room, and places to put things (like winter clothes, and crafty stuff).
I’m so excited for you. I pray it works out.
Cassidy says
I will keep all y’all in my prayers! I remember the hellish process of purchasing our farm and we only had two at the time (now three and expecting our fourth). I hope they come back with a counter offer you can handle! It is lovely!!
Maggie Gean says
I will keep your housing needs/wants on my list of things I talk to God about. Here I live in an old house that had years of neglect or poor repairs before I bought it. 11+ years and I now honestly tell people I might never be done with the repairs and improvements but the ones that matter have been done. The roof has been replaced, the furnace is no longer in the only bedroom this house has, the foundation has been repaired, and this winter 1 of my sons is helping me finish dry walling the attic I have expanded into. Another sleeping area, a sewing area and a small under 5’x8′ space framed up and wiring started for a someday 2nd bathroom. A tiny lot in an old town, a labor job in the local meat packing plant.
MotherOwl says
If those photos are from the place, Johhny has set his heart on, I fully understand him. I could so live with those bathroom tiles to have the rest. Best of luck and prayers from Denmark.
Jeannine says
I love the farm and the tile looks great to me! Home is where the heart is…I hope you all are blessed with your needs and the farm!??
Kate says
When we got to the “bursting at the seams” point, we put in a few offers on houses that we thought were perfect. Thankfully, they were all rejected. One of the old houses I really wanted, now is surrounded by a housing development. We finally decided to move out of our small house to get it ready to sell (there was no way on earth we could have done that living there) and we moved into an empty and larger house (with land) of some friends who had moved out of state but hadn’t sold their home yet. They weren’t even sure they were going to sell since there wa as possibility they might move back. We sold our small home in a few months and then our friends told us they were ready to sell and asked if we were interested. They didn’t want the hassle of coming back to get it ready to sell, so they sold it to us for what they owed on it. We could not, in a million years, have worked it out so smoothly. God’s plans are much better than mine (and yours).
My parents bought a tiny house when they were first married on 20 acres. It is now a sprawling ranch house, added on to over the years. My father did some of the work, but since he was super busy with his business, my uncle (a contractor) did most of the construction. For years we had only one bathroom and when another was added on with a bedroom addition, it remained unfinished for years (the toilet functioned and that’s all we really needed – an extra toilet) My parents finally decided to finish all the house projects before my wedding to be ready for all the guests we we’re going to have.
anniekitching says
Just love that first photo – that one is surely “you”. I don’t like the bathroom tile, but like it better than those “Early American” kitchen cabinets. I always relish a glimpse of your green cabinets in your photos. Just the thing I love.
Bee says
Ginny! When I commented on Instagram, I presumed that you were still waiting to hear back from the owners of the farm. I’m sorry to hear they didn’t accept your offer – you would think that if it has been on the market for that long, they’d jump at the chance to sell. Then again, perhaps the home has sentimental value for them, too…I could understand that. I still hope the counteroffer will be good, though :). It would be so wonderful, especially with the new baby.
I loved reading your reflections on your older children, and on your girls…I work at a college and volunteered at a high school for a while – teens/adolescents are my favorite age groups to work with. They’re just so grown-up and yet…not really. They’re still searching. I love that.
Wishing you the best, whatever happens :).
PS. This is totally unrelated and I hope you keep it a surprise, but I’m so curious to see what you’ll name this new baby! 🙂
Tarah says
I can relate! my husband and I bought our first house(fixer upper) 14 years ago. It was a 1,000 square feet and in constant repair! We grew from 3 members to 8 members in the past 14 years! We lived on a small town lot! I was going CRAZY!! Last year we moved into a spacious 2,000 square foot home. It took two years and ALOT of prayer and patience. God is so good..The kids still share bedrooms. We are still always hanging out in the same room but this mamma feels so much more at peace!
Melissa N says
We are planning to move from Vermont to North Carolina this summer after talking about it for a couple of years. I have lived in my home for 19 years this month, and my attitude about this old house has not always been very good. We only have five children, so there are seven of us, one bathroom (and no dishwasher ever) and the kids range in age from 4-20. Every time I have felt like this space wasn’t working for us I remind myself that my great grandparents raised their 15 children in this 1200 square foot house. We have accomplished a lot, always fixing and improving, and I’m kind of proud of us in a way. We took a run down house and put a lot of time, effort and $ into it. We had to learn to work together and not turn against each other when it was tough, and I had to learn patience with my laid back husband. God used this house to teach us how to have a good marriage. So now we will have to decide whether we want a new home or an old home with land. Tough decisions ahead. Moving is emotional and hard. Surely there are more lessons to be learned through this stage. Praying for clarity for you.
Naomi says
Oh, I can so relate. I’ve been trying to be patient and trusting that a good place for us in in the near future, but sometimes it seems like it’s never going to happen. It’s not so much the lack of space that’s difficult but that we live in an apartment. Not having a yard is a cross. Especially when folks who are too little to go out on their own are bouncing off the walls and I can’t just send them outside and have too much to do inside to go out with them.
Do write them, Ginny, and then at least you’ll know that you’ve done what you could instead of wondering what would have happened if.
Love that you are feeling close to your kids as they get older, would love for some of that to happen around here too!
Eveline says
If I live near you I came to help with the laundry. I hope you and your family find the right houses and a lot of luck.
Hannah says
Ohh, that land and house looks gorgeous! Praying you guys are able to make it.
Emmaline E says
I love that your previously struggling readers are now reading to their younger siblings! I’m a tutor, and always try to pair a struggling third or fourth grade reader with a kindergartener for read-aloud. It gives the older kids such a confidence boost to help someone younger, and they don’t even realize the benefit they get from practicing. What a great pattern to establish in your homeschool!
Ann says
In 1958 my parents bought the house of their dreams in Wantagh, NY and we moved in with 8 kids, my parents and my grandparents! It only had 1 full bathroom upstairs where we all slept. My dad built a dorm addition over the garage and all 7 boys slept there till they left one by one for college. I’m not sure how we all were able to get by with that one bathroom but I can say that we wore out that house! Good luck to you on finding and buying the house of your dreams.
Tiffany says
I don’t know how I missed that you were expecting!! How far along are you now? So exciting! 🙂
Debbie Qalballah says
Oh sometimes allowing ourselves to dream is too painful. I would write to the owner then at least you would know you had done everything.
Sarah R says
I bought my house by being brave and calling up someone whom I had heard might be interested in selling his house. I don’t do that kind of stuff and I found it terrifying, but I had been looking and looking for a very long time something that I could afford that I liked. He said he was interested in selling and I asked how much he wanted for it. He named a fair price that was significantly out of my reach and I told him I was sorry but it was more than I could afford. He asked me how much I could afford and I told him honestly my top amount. He agreed to sell it to me for that. He told me later, during the settlement period, that he did that because the house had been his late wife’s and that she had struggled financially before he met her, and he wanted to help another single woman to buy a house because that’s what she would have wanted him to do. Her name was Rosemary, and I have planted rosemary in her honour in her garden. So, I think you could write to the owners of your dream house and tell them your story and tell them honestly what you can afford, and let them know that you understand if it’s not enough for them, but it is all you can manage, and that you would really like to buy that house. And then leave it up to God. If it is meant to be, it will be, but you have to step out on the pathway in trust.
Karen says
Praying for you and your housing situation. The LORD knows . . . and cares.
karen says
I am praying that you get that house and if not that house a house that you can wiggle in with lots of room. My husband and I LOVE to shop for houses. We’ve owned many, it’s the selling that is not as much fun. We have owned four so far (because you never know…).
That bathroom is ugly but in a very pretty way, with a bouquet of flowers and some pretty paint I think I would like it 🙂
Kristen | The Frugal Girl says
I know it’s not what this post is about, but….I AM A BUNNY!!! We love that book. I had it when I was a kid and I bought it on eBay for my kids, and sometimes I used to recite it to them in the car when they were fussy.
I hope that the housing thing is made abundantly clear for you guys.
Caroline says
The right house will come along and it will be perfect for your family xx
Jenny says
A truly wonderful post to read Ginny, it sounds wonderful being a part of all your growing relationships and realisations. Best of luck with the farm and the future 🙂 jenny xx
teresa c says
I always think it’s bestter not to expect too much. Some years ago we made an offer on a old house with a huge garden, it was accepted just to in a week time we’ve been told that the owners decioded to sell to someone else. For some time I was completly heartbroken because I had aleeady seen us living there.
Las t year my partener found a wonderful deal on an appartment that allowed us to move to a really wonderful place with no debt. I don’t have a garden but I have a large container on my balcony. The kids can play and make friends with the other kids on the place. And the inory of it all is that is is on the same street as the old house was… So I’ve been thinking that this is what is most appropriate for us right now, for where we are in this moment of our lives.
I wish you the best luck on finding your house. Wherever it may be.
Elaine says
We found our current home by luck/faith/God Instance whatever you want to call it. It is perfect for us, but not in the area we were looking and should not have appeared in our search list, but it did, and had suddenly been reduced to a price we could afford. It needed a lot of work, but we have created a home. Have faith it will work out for you too.
Jan Doling says
I guess what will be will be but I hope everything works out and you are able to buy the farm you have set your heart on. Love the photo of your children reading together. xx
Heidi says
Wherever you are supposed to be, you will be. It will fall into place and be right. Blessings to you all. You are so loved.
Wendy says
We, too, are currently riding the ups and downs of “no’s and “yes’s'”, I’m praying and just trying to hold on and trust. So excited for whatever His plan is for your family. And, don’t ignore your inclination to write letters–I personally know of two instances where a family writing a letter swung the decision in their favor!
I like Kelly’s idea of a bunkhouse for the big boys 🙂 Remember, too, that the beautiful family you’ve grown and are starting to reap the rewards of is in part, no doubt, to your close quarters when they were smaller!
Tanya says
That fireplace room looks inspiring, and in the bathroom, just painting the mirror a pale turquoise or a bright yellow would make that ‘ugly’ tile work not so ugly anymore….
But all in due time. If its to be, it’ll be! When our small house seems too small, I breath in and remind myself that it helps us keep our kids close, then I think of my mom who was raised 7 children in a 1 bedroom appartment. Peace.
Cindy in NC says
You are so wise, Ginny. Even now I have trouble remembering that God’s plans just might make more sense than mine do. I spent a lot of time when my children were young (sharing both bedrooms and beds) wishing for a larger home. It was wonderful when we finally managed it, but it certainly didn’t magically solve all of our problems like I fantasized it would. Congratulations on having such great perspective (and I love the ideal of a “mini-Ginny”).
Cindy in NC
Claire says
Praying for the perfect solution to your need for more space! Addition to your house or a new house – either way the new space will be a huge blessing and give you some breathing room and reduce stress. Praying for God to send just the right answer for you all!!!
Mary @ Better Than Eden says
That fireplace!?!?! And the ceiling beams! I’m going to not gush too much in order to not exert any pressure on the situation but I shall calmly state that even in those few pictures I see so much potential. And a lot of work, yes. Prayers for you to be wherever He wills.
Shannon Dennis says
To quote my favorite hymn, “Be still, my soul; the Lord is on thy side…”
It’s stinking hard to do with so many irons in the fire, I know. This helps me remember that God’s got my back. I happen to think you are doing brilliantly in all your endeavors. Peace.
Tanya says
Oh, yes! I understand exactly what you mean about the spilling over, but also loving the closeness that small living brings. We’ve added a few bits and pieces recently to make our home work better for us – a mudroom to keep the dirty things out of the kitchen walkway, a bedroom expansion to move the three Littles into (and out of our bedroom). Our home is still smallish compared to most, but it’s amazing how small additions make a big difference. We still dream of the big addition, especially to accommodate our adult children and their families when they come home, and sometimes I dream of just moving to bigger, but we’ve moved so very many times that I’m planting my feet firmly here. God has a very good way of making things happen at just the right time. He’ll move you to just the perfect place (or keep you exactly where you are) at just the right moment – never before, never too late. Prayers for your family.
beth lehman says
kids reading to each other is the BEST!!!! and an old house? always has my heart.
Kelly says
Or you could just put a yurt or bunkhouse up on your property and tell the big boys to go live out there. ? We are seven living in 1400 sq ft, and I fantasize about that idea some days.
Tonya says
This is beautiful Ginny and I have experienced all of this and looking back, God’s timing was always perfect as He knows just where He needs to grow us. Eight years ago we brought home baby #6 to an off grid very small mobile home where I hauled water every day, scrubbed diapers by hand, and learned to practice gratitude in every moment just like you are. Keeping your beautiful family in my prayers.
Colleen says
Needed to read this today, in the midst of our own very sudden “no.” We trust it was all with good reason and makes sense in the bigger picture, but it finds us waiting, and with a growing family we’d hoped this particular waiting game was finished too. Praying for you & enjoying the journey/making do in the meantime!
Elizabeth says
oh! will pray for just the right place, if not this one, another. but will PRAY. and light candles!!!
Haley @ Carrots says
“We’ve created a family in all its heartache and glory.” I just love your reflections, Ginny. Our kids are still so little, but I’m starting to see glimmerings of that feeling.
Julia says
What a gift God has given us in you, Ginny. Thank you.
brooke says
All will work out.
Olivia says
He does have a plan. Sometimes it seems like His timing might be a bit off but then that must be part of His plan too, right? 😉
Peace, in everything. 🙂
Becky says
Love to you in your search and on your journey. For what it’s worth, the pictures you shared look full of possibility, and we in the “viewing audience” have utmost faith in your abilities to make any space adorable. Your posts just squeeze my heart sometimes. As a mother of little ones, I so appreciate your perspective on life with older children. Thanks for sharing.
Lana says
I feel your questions right now. We have the opposite problem with all of ours grown and having a very large house and acres and needing so badly to be gone from here. We watched for the house across the street to come available for 3 years and then it went on the market without a sign going in the yard and we missed it by only hours. So sad. We had to just put it in God’s hands and let it go. He knows. He knows about your questions and He will answer. We have seen it so many times in 38 years of marriage and we are always so amazed at how perfectly He provides. Praying for you all.
angie faith says
I sure do wish we all lived in old farm houses in the middle of nowhere but together.I miss yall so much.I often think about it.I feel close at least being able to see all of yall in pictures.Its funny how curvy the roads are in life.Its not at all what I imagined it to be.I love you guys and I know whatever Gods plans are for you are amazing and being prepared already. XOXO
Rosie says
Ohhh those outbuildings 🙂 And the wood beams on the kitchen ceiling! Our house is 1500 square feet also, just 5 kids (all of whom are small) so we’re not spilling over *too* much, but we’ve definitely got plans for an addition – we bought our place for the land and the bones of the house, but finding a place with room for a large growing family is definitely hard! Prayers 🙂