I went for my first haircut in nearly a year this week. I always get nervous before haircuts. There’s something about the possibility of having my hair ruined combined with trying to make conversation with the girl that cuts my hair that gives me anxiety. This is despite the fact that the same girl has been cutting my hair for years. You’d think we’d be old friends by now.
As I drove to the salon, it occurred to me that we’ve become beekeepers since the last time I got my haircut. I was pretty excited at the thought of this great topic for conversation, because I assumed she would find beekeeping fascinating and have lots of questions for me and that would get us beyond the typical how are your kids doing questions that never seem to fill the time. So after she’d shampooed my hair and I was settling into the chair for my haircut, I sprang the news.
“We got bees this spring, two hives of them!”
“Oh… that’s cool.” (notice that I ended her quote with a period not an exclamation point.)
And that was that. My plan totally failed. I continue to be the odd lady who knits in the waiting area, has a bunch of kids, and manages to get in once or twice a year for a haircut. I wonder if she noticed the construction racks on top of my giant van as I drove away. Jonny added those last week.
Every single time I visit the salon I carry alongside the anxiety a great hope that I will walk out of that place with really great hair and it will be life changing or something. You know, somehow she’ll cut it in such a way that the thickness is doubled and it has a bit of natural curl at the ends. When I got home, everyone remarked that it didn’t even look like I’d had a haircut. Actually Jonny asked (with a twinkle in his eyes and a little grin on his face) how much hair was on the floor before asking, “How much did you pay for that?” Oh well. There’s always next time. In the meantime, I need to start thinking of some new conversation starters…oooooh maybe I’ll bring my cross stitch to show her.
p.s. I sewed the girls each a new pair of ruffle pants, the blackish ones in the photos above. I make so many of those it seems. I think ruffle pants are one of the reasons I taught myself to sew in the first place. I had these cut out for weeks before I got around to making them. Larkspur has already ripped a hole in one of her knees. The fabric was left over from these dresses, a thin cotton lawn. The pattern, as usual, was a modified version of the pants in Carefree Clothes for Girls.
p.p.s Don’t you love the way that dogs (or cats for that matter) will find the one little blanket on the floor and plop right down on it?
~ joey ~ says
Oh I can SOOOOO relate to this…!
My hairdresser of about 4 years recently decided to go into something else. I am devastated, she’s the only one I have ever trusted. I have feared hairdressers my entire life as I’ve had some really bad experiences. To be honest the whole “salon thing” doesn’t fit my lifestyle so it’s no wonder I stick out like a sore thumb! If I didn’t need highlights to distract from those nasty little greys that are starting to come in I’d just trim the ends myself and be done with it.
I’m so glad I’m not alone! :o)
xoxo
~ joey ~
Norma says
I agree…find a new gal or guy to cut your hair. You should be excited not filled with fear! I had to giggle at the “Going to bring my cross stitch to show her….” Thanks Ginny for sharing with us all!!
Kim says
Love the ruffle pants. I don’t mind sitting in silence while I get my haircut…I figure it is my time and if I don’t want to talk then so be it. It is kinda nice to knit while I wait, enjoy the lovely head massage and then just sit, drink my tea and be while he cuts my hair.
Rachel Wolf says
Ruffle pants. They are a near obsession around here.
And by the way, your depth of field is fantastic. If I come to visit you will you teach me everything you know???? xo
Jeanette says
Wouldn’t it be lovely if you could just go to the hairdresser and sit in complete silence and just enjoy the experience of quiet (and your hair being cut) and not feel bad because you don’t want to talk.
Louise says
I would be loyal forever more to a silent hairdresser who could work without you having to sit in front of a giant mirror. Watching myself with the cape around my neck and the wet hair slicked down ready to chop is torture.
Traci says
I enjoy the lady I go to now. It’s so refreshing to go in to a place where the owner is a devout Catholic and she has the local Catholic station or the family station on the radio. She said she lost some business because she wouldn’t change the radio station and she politely told them if they didn’t like the music at her salon, they could look somewhere else. I tip her extra every time I go in and I tell all my friends about her!
I’m an oddity in that once my glasses come off (i’m blind as a bat without them) I them her to do what she thinks will look good. I have no opinion until my glasses are back on. My only requests are that I have to have bangs, it has to be easy, because I don’t even own a blow dryer or curling iron, and I wanted it off my neck this last time – I think she was scared of cutting off too much. Using this approach, over the past 10 years, I have only had one “um, what did you do” haircuts, and she fixed that one right away! I figure they are trained to see what type of cut will work with certain hair types and face/body shapes.
P.S. The bees would have kept me talking for hours. I just did a farm audit at a beekeepers, and we talked for two hours about how he winters his bees in Florida and the types of honey. I’m used to clover honey and he gave me some tupelo to try. My husband really likes it, I’m not so sure if I do, yet.
Sarah says
I love the ruffle pants, they are gorgeous and so practical at the same time!
I hate hairdresser conversations too, I recently spent 30mins in a chair listening to a hairdresser tell me all the intimate and far too detailed gossip of her family. I don’t know them. I don’t want to know them. I wanted her to be sshhhhh – as I escaped the hub-bub of my own house, peace would have been nice!
paula says
Seems like if your hair is long & you want them to cut it more, they’re afraid. Agree-should be a treat & don’t let husband diss you about it!
Monique R says
I am the same way when going to the hair dresser. I hate making conversation while they cut my hair. It seems so silly. I want that time to relax and be quiet while they work. I only go a few times a year too. I was noticing how long B’s hair has gotten!! Wow! 🙂 They are both such beautiful girls.
Corrabelle says
I’m the opposite when it comes to going to the hair dresser-because I hardly ever get to go, I see it as a time to relax, not think, and try to converse as little as possible.
Sometimes the hair dresser will be extra chatty, which is ok, but I always kind of wish that it could remain a quiet time.
I love their little ruffle pants. Did you follow a pattern, or just kind of wing it? They’re adorable:)
sustainablemum says
Your post made me smile. I haven’t been for a while but only cos I don’t seem to be able to make it a priority. I have been using the same salon for over ten years, it was the one I liked when I wanted someone to do my hair for my wedding. I had not set foot in a salon ever before that, as my mother cut my hair as a child and I had not had it cut since leaving home! I often sit in silence as I love the peace and quiet.
melanie jennifer says
I gave up trying to fill the silence years ago. I’m really glad my hairdresser (who I love!) understands that I like the silence and doesn’t try to fill it with small talk.
I love the ruffle pants! You are so inspiring Ginny!
Marcie in Canada says
Love the organized chaos of the littles. Glad to see someone else’s child sticking objects into various other objects. Oh, and I detest the hair salon. Haven’t had my hair cut in 2 years. Just took the scissors to my ponytail the other day. Perfection!
Darcel {the mahogany way} says
I am thankful for not having to go to the hair salon anymore. My hair is in dreadlocks now. But before children I used to love going to the salon.
Those ruffled pants are really cute. Keep telling myself I’m going to learn how to sew before the end of the year….guess I better get a move on that.
meredith says
i have major hair cut anxiety too, which is why i learned to cut my own hair. straight hair is so easy to cut, and now i never have a bad hair cut (or at least only myself to blame). i hate having to make conversation with hair dressers or dental hygenists or anyone else like that. i am such an introvert that it’s hard enough for me to have to have someone in my personal space like that, and then to have to make conversation on top of it! not fun!
i’m glad that you mentioned the pattern for the pants. they are so darling. i think that i am going to have to check out Carefree Clothes for Girls–you keep mentioning it, and i keep loving what you have sewn from it.
Stephanie says
Hi,
I ‘ve never commented on your blog before, but I love it and I read it every day! However, I felt compelled to comment today because I don’t like to see someone feeling the way you do (and so many other commenters) and I’d like to offer you another perspective.
Firstly, hairdressing is a service industry, they provide a service and you in return give them money. Another way to look at this is that – They Work For YOU. Same is true for doctors and dentists and car mechanics, etc. When you pay for something you should get what you expect in return. If you aren’t getting what you want, which in this case is a haircut you like, then find another service provider.
Secondly, it is not your job to entertain your hairdresser or fill the empty silences. It’s an hour away from your kids to luxuriate in ME time. Close your eyes and enjoy the massage when they wash and condition your hair or when they’re blow drying it. I love the way that warm air feels. Sure it’s wonderful if you are lucky enough to find a hairdresser that is warm and welcoming, down to earth and easy to talk to, who’s kind and doesn’t make you feel awkward, but not everyone is so lucky to have someone like that in their town. So assuming you like their cutting skills you should stick with them, but when it’s time to sit down in their chair just say, “Wow, I am so tired today. If you don’t mind I’m going to just sit here quietly (read my book or close my eyes or fill-in-the-blank) while you cut my hair”. And guess what?…..you’re probably doing them a favor! “What a relief!” she’s thinking! Because it’s a lot of pressure on these hairdressers all day, every day to make small talk from morning ’til night, five days a week! So stop worrying about it so much and take advantage of the opportunity to give yourself (and your hairdresser) some quiet time.
Peacefully yours,
Stephanie
Peggy says
What excellent advice.
Ellie says
I feel the same exact wat, at least know I wish I could chat about bees unending, we don’t have a yard at present to beekeep, but its in the futre, I hope. Don’t feel weird, they are the weird ones. I am a very friendly person and since my old hairdresser moved away two years ago, I haven’t sought a new one out. 🙁 My sister cuts my hair for me now, when she can. The kids pictures are precious.
Sarah says
At least your stylist didn’t mess up your hair like mine did. I’m trying to tame it before anyone really sees how horrible it looks! Worst highlighting job EVER.
Taryn Kae Wilson @ Wooly Moss Roots says
Ginny,
I love your sense of humor! 🙂
I’m always surprised when other people aren’t so excited about the things I’m excited about….Knitting, gardening, beekeeping! How are those not exciting? 🙂
Love, Taryn
Erin @ Wild Whispers says
I hate getting my hair cut. I’m with Cori… I cut my own.
Laura says
Ginny, I feel the same way about going to get a haircut. Today I SHOULD go get one while I have time… but whether or not that will actually happen remains to be seen! It’s funny how irrational awkwardness can make us.
Sarah says
It’s nice to hear that someone else has the same problem! It is definitely not a treat to get my hair cut, like it is for some people. I started cutting my own hair to avoid it. Which means that when I go occasionally, I feel even more anxious that they’re going to judge my cutting skills. 🙂 Oh, and the conversation. Horrible! The whole ordeal is worse than going to the gyno.
Paula says
I hate the hairdresser too. My big problem up here is no one knows how much an inch is! I asked for 1-2 inches off and walked out with 6 inches MISSING! It’s taken 9 years for my hair to recover. Needless to say I don’t get my hair cut any more. I should talk Colin into doing it for me. He loves it long (hip length) and I know he wouldn’t cut too much.
Mary says
Thank you for making me smile today! I have the same experience at hairstylists. I inevitably get into a discussion about how many kids I have and yes, they’re all boys and yes, we’re thrilled about that. Which isn’t all bad…always seems like a good opportunity to witness because it is just SO foreign to many of these girls! I just started going to my cousin, though, who is super cheap and does an awesome job so I feel like a real grown up now (i.e. paying more than $12 for a haircut 😉
Lisa G. says
Ginny, I think you’re too passive with the hair thing. If you want a different look, you have to tell her. But your present cut seems to suit you – it’s becoming and neat. Your hair doesn’t look like it’s going to wave by itself – do you really want to be burdening yourself with curlers, or whatever? 🙂
I have no experience with dogs, but I’m always intrigued at how cats love to go on a defined space. I wonder if they feel secure on it.
jessica says
My dog will cuddle up with one little sock if it is laying on the floor and cracks me up every time!
Allana says
Sounds like we have all been in your boat at some point. I know for me onve I left my 20’s and had The Munchkin and no longer related to the 20 something’s it was a strugggle to get a great hairdresser that I could really click with PLUS get a great cut and colour from but… I found her today!!! My tip… keep looking, don’t settle… you are a wonderful, interesting person and you should feel pampered not anxious at the salon 🙂
Debbie says
I know exactly what you mean about haircut anxiety. I went in a couple of days ago to a new place (one having a “haircut sale”) and now I feel like I need to go again to another place and try something else. I kind of relate to Hillary Clinton…every time you see her on TV she has a different hair style…kind of like she can’t find one she likes that looks good on her. Love this post. It made me smile! Enjoy your Thursday!
swanski says
The lady that cuts my hair talks a lot! I do too so we have fun during the hair cut. I am VERY specific on how I want my hair cut and when I find that special person, I will be ever faithful to visiting.
heathermama hawkes says
going to a hairdresser is a bit weird. i have given up on the idea. i just trim my own hair now. i also find that what i want my hair to be after the cut isn’t really what my hair can do. LOL
Tricia- Crunchy Catholic Momma says
oh, in case you want to see that you are NOT alone: http://crunchycatholicmomma.blogspot.com/2012/07/at-least-once-every-two-years.html
though I must say, the herbal tea they serve might get me in more often ; )
Rosemary says
I know exactly how you feel about haircut anxiety … I prefer it when the hairdresser is one of those gals who manages to keep up a conversation all by herself and all I have to do is look interested and/or sympathetic. 🙂
Tricia- Crunchy Catholic Momma says
Funny, I avoid the hair salon like the plague. I blogged about it a few weeks ago because I guess my hair got so scraggly that my oldest told me she was taking me to Aveda and that was it. If only your hair dresser knew what a cool lady was sitting in her chair!
S/V Mari Hal-O-Jen says
I always hated getting my hair cut, it never ever turned out right and I’ve actually collapsed on the floor in floods of tears over a haircut before! But a few years ago I found a new place and I love going now. And don’t discount having a guy cut your hair. My hair guy always sends me out looking fab with an easy to care for style while the girls who cut my hair were always into products and fancy brushes and irons and such.
Anne Marie says
And where are the pics of the haircut? I’ve had the same hubby response. I have hair very similar to yours.
Ellen says
I’m smiling, Ginny, if you can’t tell. I hate (and worry) about making conversation with a hair stylist too. It seems very awkward. (that’s why my husband cuts my hair a few times a year – just snip across the back and he’s done). What might work next time is think of questions to ask her – things she’s interested in, how she got into hair cutting in the first place, etc… the listen carefully… then ask other questions. That way, SHE’LL do most of the talking and you can just relax (and knit!).
angie (your sister) says
…and what a cute dog it is!Those pants are adorable as well.I always feel lost when sitting in a chair at the salon.I never know what to say and as you know I’m normally full of things to say…lol, so its not just you.
Andrea says
I’m a former hairdresser who worked in this profession for years and I just cringe at hearing when people don’t have the best experience. I always worked on commission and knocked myself out with each and every client because not only was this how I made my living (single mom at the time) but I truly valued each and every client and wanted them to come back and refer friends and family. I loved engaging them in conversation and getting them talking because I found it relaxed them and people love to share their lives and I really did love to hear about it. I don’t know, maybe I was the exception, but I met some of the most fantastic and interesting people ever. Having to move cross country, not only did I have to give up my clientele, I had to leave my friends. Find someone you really click with, even if the haircut may be off a time or two (unfortunately, it happens), but if you have a good connection with your stylist, it makes all the difference. I wish I lived in your neck of the woods, you could tell me all about your bees, and get a fantastic haircut to boot! Love your blog, love the comments!
meghann says
Oh…the hairdresser… I love the girl who cuts my hair – I discovered her quite by accident ten years or so ago, when I walked into the salon where she worked & she happened to be available. Described what I wanted (my hair was pixie-short at the time) and she did it exactly. I’ve followed her to two other salons before she settled into her own space last year, and even timed my hair cuts for our visits to Buffalo while we were away.
But you know what? I still have trouble making conversation. I totally get what you wrote above; I wish I knew the solution…
Love-love-love the ruffled pants. I think I need to buy that book. I looked at a copy from the library last year but now I need to just get my hands on a copy to buy… xo
sylvia~artsy ants says
oh, that’s just too bad, i would gave a bunch of questions i would have asked!
my husband cut my hair last time and i was very pleases with the result so i might stick with that for a while 🙂
sylvia~artsy ants says
oh man sorry about all the mistakes! typing on my phone with baby in arms…
Jeni says
I agree. Get a new hairdresser. I just found a new one this year (I always have to, since we’ve moved so often) and this one is finally good. And nice. And makes me feel like she’s interested in everything I say (which can’t possibly be true).
Did I tell you I just cut 18 inches off my hair? It’s just a little longer than yours now. The typical reaction I’ve gotten is, “Wow, you don’t look like a hippie anymore!” …so maybe it’s just that you weren’t UNcool enough looking before the haircut. 🙂
Heather says
I typically get my hair cut once a year as well, usually in the fall, and I usually chop it all off. My hair dresser is actually a friend of mine from high school, so we tend to talk about what we know about the people who graduated with us…many years ago 🙂
Tonya - Plain and Joyful Living says
Oh, I haven’t been to get a hair cut in years – I just love what you wrote because I always feel like the odd one – even up here in northern rural Vermont:)
Katie says
Haha… I’m glad I’m not alone! I’m anxious about getting my fifth professional haircut *ever* this week… I’ve almost always had long hair, and my mom has just trimmed the ends. I got it cut after my wedding last year, and this will be my third cut in a year, and shortest since 7th grade, if I go through with it. I never know what to say, either, and the whole tipping thing has me completely baffled.
Kristin says
You need to have a son whose girlfriend is a hairdresser – she graduated a few months ago, and now does all of our hair, in the kitchen, and I talk to her all the time. I used to feel exactly the same way, and I used to have to cut the kids hair myself. I’m secretly hoping my daughter will go for an auto mechanic 🙂
Heather says
I hate talking at the salon. I seldom go (I think I am at twice a year). I find the conversation forced. I prefer to sit in silence and be a bit pampered (ever since I was a child, I love having my hair “done.”
Peggy says
I agree – a new hair stylist is in order. Not because she’s not interested in bees, just because you shouldn’t feel anxious about going to your hairdresser. Dentist maybe, hairdresser, no.
Teresa C says
What I like the most about getting a haircut is the washing. I love the massage… If dons properly, of course. The actual cutting is always a bit awkward as the girl always gives a bunch of hair styling advice that I never know how to follow (nor have the time or availability to) and I always feel the need to excuse myself for not having a haircut sooner and thus ruin it. But it is great having someone washing my hair…
Cori says
I’ve been cutting my own hair since 2007. I would find a new gal to cut your hair. It shouldn’t be awkward. It should be a treat. 🙂