who she is

April 29

April 29

April 29

April 29

April 29

April 29

April 29

April 29

I’ve been working on a few small special requests for the girls.  First I made a pair of shorts for Beatrix.  I don’t know where she was when I was sewing them, but Larkspur appeared by my desk the second I started working.
“It seems like everything you sew is for Beatrix.”
I replied, “Let’s see, I just made you a Nurse Nancy set, an Emily dress, and a pinafore.”  (all Beatrix got was an Emily dress and pinafore.)
Larkspur makes no reply.

A few days later I sat down to sew Larkspur a requested pair of ruffle pants.  I don’t know where she was when I was sewing them, but Beatrix appeared by my desk the second I started working.
“What are you making mommy?”
“I’m making pants for Larkspur.”
“Well, I don’t have many pants.”
“Beatrix, you have so many pants that your drawer is never empty.”
“Well….”  Her voice trails off.

They wanted pocket necklaces too, so I knit them both one in the requested colors and they’ve been wearing them for days.

As I started looking through these photos this evening, I noticed that everything about Larkspur in these photos is so very Larkspur.  Last week we were at the thrift store and she wanted a basket.  I suggested that she grab one of the natural looking ones, but she insisted on the white one with flowers and a bow.  And those pants she’s wearing, I have never loved that fabric, but she does, and seeing it on her, I see that she’s right.  The color and the pattern suit her perfectly.  She’s growing up so much it seems these days and sometimes I love it, but sometimes I really don’t.  I have been thinking about the fact that when my kids were babies (well, Beatrix and Silas are still babies, Beatrix just barely) it was much easier to always feel totally connected to them.  But then they start to get older and their specific personalities grow stronger, and sometimes, those personalities are a bit difficult (I am not talking about differences of opinions regarding fabric choices of course.)  Sometimes it isn’t easy to stay connected. 

In my mind, I think “Today, you are really driving me crazy and it seems that all we are doing is butting heads, but surely I can find a way through that, find something that we can share.”  With Larkspur, I am learning that we both have a strong love for flowers and gardens.  It has only been recently that this shared love has become so evident.  Today she helped me set out tomatoes.  I would have liked to do it myself, worrying about the fragile little root systems, but she wanted to plant right next to me.  Sharing with her was far more important than my worries about the plants.  I showed her how to carefully remove the little plants from their pots, how to set them in the ground, and I let go of any worry.  Side by side we worked:  I would plant mine, and she would plant hers and then we would shift down the row.  I watched her carefully mimic me.  She told me several times, almost as if she were surprised at herself, “I really like working in the garden.  I even like to pull weeds.”   I just smiled, thinking, “Me too.”  Cleaning her bedroom overwhelms her, but she weeded out a couple of our garden beds today.  She’s finding her way, and I’m finding mine right next to her.

 

p.s.  Larkspur’s pants were made with my favorite easy pants pattern from Carefree Clothes for Girls (I added the ruffle) in Amy Butler Cypress Paisley.  I made Beatrix’s shorts from the same pattern, but made them shorter.  The fabric was a gift, and I have no idea what it is!  You can find the pattern for the knitted pockets here.

Comments

  1. What a beautiful post. I just found your blog and although I am a grandmother there is much to love here.
    Your children are beautiful. I especially love the third and last pictures in the pretty clothes you make for them.
    So nice to spend some peaceful time here.

  2. Thanks for that post. It so coould have been about my son as my oldest and recently turned six year old. I have been struggling of late at the disconnectedness that I have been feeling – you have precisley described my feelings. Now I have to find some points of connection so that we can move forward. We did spend sope time n the garden planting peas last weekend and we both relaxed and enjoyed it. Thanks you

  3. Teresa C says:

    Sometimes I feel sad to think I will lose my baby as he grows… It’s hard to feel such a conection and to know it is just for such a short time, that our children aren’t ours, they are just borrowed for us to keep and nurture. Now that I’ a mother I feel more inclines to connect to my own mother, and to give back some of the much she gave me…

  4. Yes yes yes. I could have written what you did about my girl!

  5. What a lovely post – my sister and I were just talking about the very same thing the other day – how our bond with babies is very deep, easy and natural and how that bond changes as kids grow. We both have 8 year old daughters and I have certainly found my bond to her more challenging than with my older son…. and the little ones are still babies really…. But, I’m seeing things in her that I hope will keep us close, a love of creating is one I think. Lovely post.

  6. Lovely little projects! I am sure that in the years to come, your kids will really appreciate all the handmade things you make for them!

    Sidenote, but Larkspur really looks like you in the 3rd picture (where she’s crouching and looking down). So darling!

  7. Cheryl says:

    Can you tell us more about the pocket purses? Did you use a pattern or just create them yourself? I have some girls, and probably even a boy, who would love them.

  8. Their pockets match their clothes perfectly! Did you plan that?? :) Beautiful girls and beautiful handmades.

  9. What beautiful little girls and clothes! It is so obvious that they are loved very much. My daughter is 20 years old and just now asking me to make her things. When she was little she had to do it her way or no way at all. She has grown into a confident, beautiful and loving woman. I miss the little girl alot sometimes, but know she is the person God made her to be. Try to enjoy every moment with them. You are doing a great job. Thanks for sharing your girls and patterns with us readers!

  10. I am finding the same thing with my nearly 8yo daughter – she is becoming so much her own person, and that can be confronting for me at times. And wonderful at others :) Lovely photos as always, my two would love exploring in that grass :)

  11. Both 0utfits are adorable! I know what you mean about little girls growing up. It’s beautiful one moment and so painful that I can’t breathe the next. Then, there’s the guilt when they are being annoying and you don’t want to be around them and then they are gone somewhere and you miss them! This stage of parenting has driven me to my knees more than any other time of my life. I guess maybe that’s the point.

  12. The pants and pocket necklaces look so cute on Larkspur and Beatrix.

    Glad you got to share your joy for the garden.

  13. great post, and so timely as my little girl turned 4 today. they really do start developing their personalities!

    also curious about your nurse nancy set. i didn’t see it here on the blog–is that inspired by the golden book by the same name? if so, please share. we are big fans of the nurse nancy (and dr, dan the band aid man)!

  14. First of all, what beautiful clothes you make for your lovely daughters. It’s quite a journey we take as mothers, learning who our children are. I appreciate the reminder!

  15. I see what you mean. Those pants look just perfect on her. This post is spot on. Sometimes you just have to put your “rules” and preferences aside and just enjoy doing things their way. Thank you.

  16. I love the clothes, they seem so right for each girl. I just purchased the same book to make some summer clothes for granddaughters. One does not live here so I have trouble fitting her as I go. Do these patterns run true to the measuremants given for sizes? Thank you so much for the information. It is raining today so I may need to get started on the stack of fabric I pulled out of the cupboard the other day. Have a great Monday.

  17. I have connected at a special level too with our son (15) he has the garden bug and he grabbed my new vege garden for him, He is now taking an interest in flowers – we are wondering where this new passion will take him,
    Love Leanne (ps he planted lettuce seeds and all 192 came up) He is not that fond of lettuce smile.

  18. How cute they are!

    You may end up with another Gertrude Jekyll, or Vita Sackville-West (garden-wise, I mean!)

  19. Love the pants. And such a beautiful post.

  20. I love the paisley print of Larkspur’s outfit! It’s fun watching children become who they are. Sometimes they are different than us and then sometimes they are similar. I can see a bit of grandparents in my children :) (psst. only the good stuff I see!)

  21. They both are just too sweet!

  22. It is amazing how much my children can teach me if I am open to the lesson.

    For me, just as you said, it involves tons and tons of letting go each and every day. Letting go of my ideas and just being in their presence. At times that is the hardest past of parenting for me.

    I am effecient at getting the “tasks” done but the slowing down part seems so hard at times.

  23. You are so blessed to have daughters to sew ruffles for. I envy that you are able to settle yourself and re-evalaute your priorities so quickly and are able include your little ones in your day. What a great focused mother–to know what your children need and can effortlessly give it(your time)

  24. i love this.

  25. It’s funny that you don’t care too much for that fabric because the minute I saw those pants on Larkspur I fell in love with the print and the ruffle on the pants! Your daughters are so blessed to have a mom who sews and knits such personal items for them to treasure. I imagine it’s like wearing a hug from you all day long.

  26. I am drooling…thanks for sharing the pattern. Are they really that easy (not a clothing maker here) My Trinity would just love those!

  27. Beautiful pants! I have a daughter that loves flowery, lacy and multi colored “beautiful” clothes – very unlike my choices. She also is very energetic and loud, but she has an over flowing love that comes through – a joy for all that is life – and when I feel as though I can’t stand another moment of her overwhelming energy – she comes in with a bouquet and tells me she loves me.

  28. Yes, I know what you mean. I have four little girls (they aren´t really little though). I often think about what I could have done when they were younger and didn´t because I was stressed to grow them up alone. I think when they were little, everything was easier, but at this time I didn´t recognize it. I always waited for them to become bigger. If I only had knewn before!
    Now sometimes there are a lot of discussions and that´s making me so sad. But I know it is important for them to find their own way through life. Me, too, I was always very different from my parents and wanted my own thing. Children are growing, they have their own interests. Lucky, if you can share some of them. And for now, you can help them to grow to their own little or bigger personality. Hopefully, they will go the way you can live with.

    Enim Sou.

  29. I love those pants! So cute on her. :) The shorts are awfully adorable as well. I know what you mean about as they grow older. My 11 year old girl has hit the hardest age for us thus far. *sigh* This too shall pass, right? I desperately seek little ways we can connect as well.

  30. I have a huge stack of fabric for summer skirts, shorts and tops for Gemma, and I just made her a pair of striped shorts from an old pillowcase. I have a request from Una for a three-tiered skirt, and I need to make a haversack for Sebastian’s upcoming birthday.

    I love both the pants and the shorts–love the rickrack on Bea’s shorts and may do the same to Gemma’s…

  31. Those pants and shorts do seem to fit them perfectly based on what you have shared of each. I actually thought a pair of those pants would be on my list right now! Of course, I would probably wear them snuggled into bed. My Aine is a bit like your daughters. She has such a mind of her own. I do love it, but sometimes we struggle. She would instantly grab the bright, the flowery and the bold.

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