(In case you can’t tell, that’s chocolate milk and cookies for St. Nicholas, just a few months early.)
(If you are ever tempted to ask your husband to build stacked stone columns for your front porch, just know that they can take up to 15 hours each to make. He’s almost finished with number three. One to go. This porch project began two years ago.)
(The boys found a nest of baby rat snakes. I apologize to those of you who are terrified at the mere phrase “nest of snakes.”)
(Silas found his toes. Of course Beatrix is right there making sure that I know that she too can grab her toes.)
(The dynamic duo.)
(A Craigslist buy and current favorite family game.)
I did something revolutionary last week. I let my house stay messy, for the entire week. Dishes were washed and put away daily, laundry was kept going, and there was a bit of straightening here and there, but those things are just a drop in the cleaning bucket of a large family living in a small house. So by this past weekend things were pretty disastrous.
I typically “recover” from the previous week over the weekend, but two weekends ago we were too busy with baseball and friends. Therefore, I didn’t begin the week with a clean house, or even a mostly clean house. When Monday hit I chose to place homeschooling at the top of the priority list, rather than giving in to the temptation of calling off school to clean. You must understand, that this was a big step for me. Many years ago, I proclaimed more than once that I could never homeschool, because in order to do anything, I have to start with a clean and orderly environment. Of course I eventually changed my mind about homeschooling, but I had a pretty good run in the clean and orderly department there for awhile. Anyway, the rest of the week was incredibly busy (not just with school, but with life!), so all my deep cleaning got pushed off until this past weekend.
On the phone with a friend last week, I proclaimed something that Jonny and I used to be rather proud of: “We can have our house clean enough for company in two hours.”
After spending five hours cleaning today, I need to humbly withdraw that comment. That was true three years and three children ago. But guess what? My house is reasonably clean right now. Nothing bad happened as a result of me letting things go for an extra week.
Re-reading a letter from a friend a few days ago (yes, a real pencil to paper letter) I zeroed in on these words: “I’ve a friend who is a terrible housekeeper. She says that letting your house look messy when a friend comes over is a sign that you feel at ease with that friend! The first time I came over she said, “Prepare to feel loved!”
Now, I am not a terrible housekeeper. I am a busy housekeeper. If I have to choose between a non essential task and reading stories to my girls, I choose the stories. I am a wife and a mother before I am a housekeeper. I have priorities, and I am slowly getting over the unspoken rule that one’s home must stay clean and tidy. I can work all day long and meet needs all day long but I will still end the day with dirty floors.
I know myself, and I know when to say it’s time to drop everything and clean this place, but I also know when I need to use the evening hours after all my little mess makers are in bed to knit or relax with Jonny.
I am realizing that in finding that balance, it is necessary to let things go sometimes. We rarely go to bed with dishes in the sink, but we are definitely in a “season” of life during which we cannot possibly keep this place picture perfect or even close (many thanks to the dynamic duo pictured above!)
So anyway, about those two hours….
If you know me and love me, and I know that you love me, the two hours thing still stands.
But when you visit, “Prepare to feel loved.”
If you are coming here to judge my housekeeping skills: give me two days if I am not feeling particularly confident. But on a feeling good day, I’ll just stick with the two hours and explain that I’ve got six kids and last night we felt like throwing darts and laughing hysterically for two hours after the girls went to bed and then I knit a few rounds and went to bed myself. Then I’ll invite you for a round of darts, and make you a cup of tea.
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